


Underwhelmed

by salesman



Series: Overloaded: Solas POV & Other Stories [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: A lot of alcohol drinking, Adultery, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Complete, Depression, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, In Vino Veritas, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, POV Third Person, Polyamory, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC, Romance, Tevinter Imperium (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-02-18 14:39:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 48,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21679081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salesman/pseuds/salesman
Summary: Nobody told Anna he wanted to take down the Veil. In the five years after they had left the Inquisition, Solas had just grown cold towards her, and she’d somehow become even more useless than before. But when Solas allocates a mission to her, she thinks her luck has changed... Only to find out that she has to spend the entire journey with the worst of the Evanuris, Falon’Din. Why was life so unfair?-aka the sequel toOverloadedthat no one asked for, and if you did, it certainly wasn’t this
Relationships: Falon'Din (Dragon Age)/Original Female Characters, Solas (Dragon Age)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Overloaded: Solas POV & Other Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/247984
Comments: 186
Kudos: 131





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't read [Overloaded](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3487133/), I think you can still enjoy this story, although that fic is a weird mess to describe. A brief summary: Anna is a modern human character who woke up in Dragon Age one day, thinking the whole world was a video game. Solas, as it turned out, was her twin soul (aka _nas'falon_ ), which made her also an immortal mage. After Solas awakened the Evanuris again, they started rebuilding a new home for the elves.
> 
> That fic was written before the DLC, so this is the Trespasser-compliant sequel. (Also I apparently can't get Falon'Din out of my head.)
> 
> *This fic is mostly a Falon'Din/Anna pairing, so it probably won't interest many, and it is also very different from Overloaded in tone. I hope you enjoy it, but completely understand if you don't. Just please don't tell me. :)

Anna had no idea he was trying to destroy the world. She had no idea that Solas knew thousands would die because of him, because of his plans, because of what Anna herself was helping him achieve. 

She didn't know any of that, because he didn't tell her. 

All Anna knew was that she was supposed to be living in a happily ever after. She was supposed to be living the dream. But she wasn't.

Instead, she felt like a bad student sent to the principal's office as she stood in front of his door. The Dread Wolf had summoned her, and in the five years since the defeat of Corypheus, she now knew that if Solas summoned her, it was never a good thing. 

Solas was the leader of this entire operation, and with every passing year, he only seemed to grow colder. Towards Anna, towards the awakened Evanuris, towards everyone.

_It must be the stress_ , she told herself at first. Restoring the elves was a tiresome mission, which only seemed to get more complicated the larger they grew.

They now had bases all over Thedas, with their biggest settlement being across the sea. Avhenas, they called it. _A new home_. It was where Mythal—now merged with Morrigan—and Elgar’nan had gone, dragging Andruil with them.

And currently, Anna was in their Tevinter base, shifting her feet from left to right in front of his door, trying her best to steel herself for whatever was to come. Everything would be fine. It was still Solas, after all. Her soulmate, her nas’falon.

It was easy to forget that they were actually connected. That for some unfathomable reason, the universe had brought them to one another to live together, or free enslaved elves, or eat berries, or whatever it was that twin souls were supposed to do. It was a little too easy to forget this when he wouldn’t even touch her anymore. When he’d barely even glanced her way for the past two years.

“Come in,” Solas called through the door in Elvhen. 

“You asked for me?” Anna said, popping her head through the entryway. He sat at a large wooden desk, which seemed to be the same one that he transported to every building their forces occupied. But maybe Solas just had boring taste and would always choose a similar kind of desk.

His mouth stretched into a line that might be considered a smile, if she hadn’t known what his real ones looked like from all those years ago. This expression was just a sad ghost of before.

“Suledin,” he greeted.

Anna blinked at her title, or perhaps nickname was the better word. He never called her anything else anymore. Just Suledin. Although she supposed that was her fault, since she was the one to request it.

* * *

Years ago, Anna had demanded she receive her own title, just like he had. “All of the Evanuris have some cool Elvish name, and I don’t have anything,” Anna fumed.

Solas opened his mouth in what was sure to be an argument about how Anna was not _actually_ a part of the Evanuris, so she really shouldn’t have a title anyway, but she cut him off before he could start.

“So I will be called…” she began with a dramatic wave of her hand, “Asha’suledin!”

Solas’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “Woman who—”

“The girl who lived!” Anna smiled. A small reference to a fictional wizard from her previous life, but no one in Thedas knew _that_. It was the perfect name for her, as she had returned to life not too long ago. Anna sighed as she pictured generations upon generations reciting the tale of her adventures, right down to when that idiot Falon’Din murdered her and she was brought back to life through her spiritual connection to Solas.

In fact, she was so caught up in reciting this fantasy to Solas that he didn’t have the heart to tell her the name actually meant _woman who endures_ , although the sentiment was similar.

“So tell everyone to call me that,” she ordered him. Solas only shook his head and laughed.

And from then on, Anna was called Suledin.

* * *

Anna now wavered by the door, unsure if she should sit at one of the chairs before his desk. Perhaps if she remained standing, he’d get the message and hurry up this damn meeting.

“Sit,” he instructed, when his patience soon reached its limit.

Anna did as she was told.

“How are you keeping, Suledin?” Solas asked, feigning some sort of polite social manners. “Well, I presume?”

Anna just shrugged in response.

“It seems you are faring well, from what I have heard,” he said, continuing his one-sided conversation in Elvhen again. They tended to speak in a mixture of Common and Elvhen now, although mostly Elvhen, which Anna had learned relatively fluently in the past few years.

“Ghilan’nain told me of the archery contest,” Solas droned on. “Congratulations on your victory.”

Anna sighed and shrugged again. It was just a game between friends—hardly a contest—and she was pretty sure Ghilan’nain had let her win, anyway.

“Always keeping tabs on me, aren’t you, Solas?” Anna said with a small smile.

He didn’t answer, but the line of his mouth stretched a little longer, a little more curled, and she saw the faint spark appear in his eyes that Anna still loved to chase from time to time. It was like a game, trying to get him to feel for her again. To regard her with that same fondness she used to see ignited in his gaze all those years ago, the same fondness that she still painfully felt for him now.

“Unfortunately, I did not call you here for pleasantries,” Solas said. Anna had to try very hard to keep herself from snorting, but he still noticed.

Solas gave her a sharp look. “I am assigning you a mission.”

“What?” That _did_ get her attention. She’d never been assigned anything by Solas. Except to learn Elvish and to control her magic better. Both she had done, and was still continuing to do. But to go out into the _field_? Like one of his actual agents? She felt the excitement building in her chest, an eagerness growing at the prospect of actually having a solid, tangible goal to work towards. A goal that might even win Solas’s favor back, if she did it perfectly—no, even _better—_ than whatever he was about to ask.

“There is a magister who would like to meet you before pledging his allegiance to our cause,” Solas said, measuring every bit of her reaction with his eyes.

“ _Me_?” Anna asked. This meeting had become far more intriguing than she’d anticipated. Who would be interested in meeting Anna? She was barely known outside of the organization—or so she thought. Those that did know her were mostly elves, though, and certainly not Tevinter magisters.

“Yes,” Solas nodded. “He wishes to meet a high-ranking human officer, and you are the highest, under Lady Morrigan of course, but she still remains in Avhenas.”

“Oh.” Her chest fell a little. It wasn’t exactly _Anna_ that the magister wanted to meet. It was just any ol’ human in the Dread Wolf’s forces. “Okay, what do I do?”

“Jaren can debrief you. He will be travelling with you, and I have already given him most of the details.”

Anna wrinkled her nose at that. “Jaren, huh?” She wasn’t too fond of that elf, but he wasn’t the worst companion, she supposed.

“Yes,” Solas replied. He regarded her carefully as he added, “and Falon’Din.”

If she had been drinking water, she would have spit it out. “What?!” Anna stood immediately and slammed her palms on his desk. “You have _got_ to be kidding me.”

“I am not.”

“Why is _he_ going? I thought the magister wanted to meet _me_!”

Solas blinked at her, much too calm for her liking. “Magister Tyrus wishes to meet the both of you. One of the Evanuris, and one of the human officers. That was his request.”

“Why can’t it be Ghilan’nain?” she pleaded. “Or June or Dirthamen?” Anyone would be better than Falon’Din. He was… well, _him_. Whiney and over-the-top, and _actually_ the worst companion Anna could have on her very first mission ever. All hope to impress Solas suddenly flew out the window. With Falon’Din in the mix, she was sure to fail.

“There is no one else,” he answered. “Only he is available.”

Figures. As far as she knew, Falon’Din never did any missions either. Everyone knew how absolutely useless he was. Plus, Solas kind of hated him.

Anna rubbed her temples with both hands. Of course this would happen to her. Of all the luck in Thedas…

“I don’t want to do it,” she said after a while. “Ask some other human.” She couldn’t actually think of another human in the organization that was considered as important as herself, being the nas’falon of Solas and all, but there had to be _someone_...

“Suledin,” Solas said, gesturing her to sit again.

She sat, eyes wary.

“I… will tell you a secret, if you agree to go with Falon’Din,” Solas offered. He was even smiling a little.

Anna arched a brow, intrigued by his sudden change in temperament and tact. It reminded her of how they used to be and how he used to treat her, in a way that made her chest ache. “What is it?”

“I know Falon’Din’s true name.”

Her eyes widened. “ _Tell me_.” To be honest, she had never even considered that the elf had another name besides Falon’Din, but she supposed it made sense. Solas was known as Fen’Harel, after all, but none of the other Evanuris ever wished to be called by their regular names. Even Ghilan’nain, who she was probably closest with now, had never told Anna her own name.

The idea excited her more than it should have. In almost a pathetic way, really, since it _was_ just a name. But Anna had so little entertainment these days, and she could have some fun with something as simple as his name.

Solas smiled at her then, and it warmed his whole face, twinkling gently in his eyes and bringing her back to years ago, to before this whole mess of an organization had hardened him away from her. It had been so long since he‘d smiled at her like that, she felt like crying. “Do you agree to the mission?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, unable to stop herself from grinning back. She felt so weak to that smile. He could ask her to run around the whole base naked, shouting things like _I’m a precious flower!_ She’d do it, for that smile. She’d even do this whole mission, without even a hint of what Falon’Din’s name was, just for that smile. But she wouldn’t tell Solas that.

“It’s not like I really have a choice, anyway, right?” she added quietly.

Solas frowned, and she wished she hadn’t said it. “Of course you have a choice.”

Anna shrugged. “Just tell me the name, Solas.”

Solas leaned towards her, one side of his mouth curling upwards again. He moved so far forward that it made her want to lean in too, like this secret he was about to share was too important to say it casually, in the air. It had to be whispered. It had to be _leaned_ towards.

She wished there wasn’t such a huge desk between them.

“Athim,” Solas revealed.

Anna’s nose scrunched and brow furrowed, taken aback. “You mean like… _humility_?” The Elvhen word didn't suit him at all.

He nodded, his mouth forming that same heart-melting smile again. “Ironic, is it not?”

“Very,” she laughed. Anna was grinning again, stupidly. And she felt so wonderful and light to be talking to him like this. _Just like before_.

“Use it well, Anna,” he murmured, voice so delicate and quiet.

The sound of her actual name made her blush, her breath catching in her throat. It was such a tiny thing, him calling her Anna. It shouldn’t be a big deal. But it was. It so, so, so was. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d said it. Although these days, she barely saw him at all, so it wasn’t like he had many opportunities.

Anna remained silent, her eyes searching his face for any sort of explanation to this miniscule crumb of affection he had left for her.

Solas looked away and stood, clasping his hands behind his back and turning towards a window. “The mission should be relatively peaceful,” he said. “I suspect you will be away no longer than a month.”

“A month?!” She rose from her chair, the incredulity of this statement breaking Anna from her stupor.

Solas turned his head over his shoulder and nodded. “Including travel, yes.”

“ _Solas_ ,” Anna said, unable to take it anymore. She moved around his desk to stand right beside him, to fully stare him in the eye. “You didn’t say it would be a _month_.”

“A month is nothing in the scope of eternity,” he said coolly, eyes moving out towards the window again. “You can report your progress to me in the Fade.”

Anna waited for him to say more. “Is that it?” she finally asked.

“Yes,” he answered. “You may leave.”

His abrupt dismissal hurt her, but Anna felt encouraged by the words and smiles he’d had just moments before. She ventured a hand to touch his arm. “No good wishes or goodbyes then?” she said, voice just above a whisper.

His gaze returned to her, and for a moment she thought she saw sadness within it, but it disappeared as soon as it came, returning to his usual cold, stone eyes.

“Goodbye, Suledin.”


	2. Chapter 2

“You should definitely bring this bow, Suledin,” Ghilan’nain said, holding the weapon towards her. “And perhaps a few daggers, too.” She’d come to Anna’s room to wish her farewell.

Anna took the bow and weighed it in her hands. “Are you sure?” Anna asked, eyes shining slightly. “But isn’t this your favorite bow?”

“ _Second_ favorite,” she corrected with a smile, teeth gleaming brightly against her dark skin.

“Thanks, Ghil,” Anna said, fingers curling over the wood. “I wish _you_ were the one coming with me.”

Ghilan’nain nodded with a sigh. “I would trade your mission in an instant for the one _I_ am assigned to,” she lamented. “I’m to go to the Anderfels and rally some alienages.”

“City elves are hard,” Anna said sympathetically.

She exhaled. “The hardest.”

“At least you don’t have to spend a month stuck with Falon’Din.”

“He isn’t that bad.”

“He is without Dirthamen.”

Ghilan’nain said nothing. Because even she, in all her millennia-old intelligence and wit, could not think of an argument. It was undeniably, horribly true.

* * *

Falon’Din was late. And this really just annoyed her more. Of course, of course.

“He’s probably doing his hair,” she muttered to Jaren beside her.

The Dalish elf only furrowed his brow in response, wrinkling his Elgar’nan vallaslin.

Anna sighed. The two were standing outside the old building that housed the base, with a mostly-packed wagon and some restless horses. They’d planned to leave right at sunrise, but it was already well past that. And Jaren was, well, not the best conversationalist. But at least he wasn’t an ass.

Anymore, at least.

Anna remembered when she first met Jaren, all those years ago, when he’d tried so hard to kill her, simply because she and Solas slept too near his clan’s encampment after they had left the Inquisition. And she also remembered when she’d—much, much later—laughed in his face when he’d asked to join the Dread Wolf’s army.

But now in the present, their interactions were pretty mellow. Business-like, in a way. Which, unfortunately, was how most of the people in this operation seemed to treat her.

Two of the Evanuris soon approached them. One was Dirthamen, and the other was the only person who _had_ actually killed her. He looked the same as he always did: aggravated and vampiric.

“Falon’Din,” Anna said. She hoped the annoyance at his tardiness was clear enough in her tone. “Are you coming with us, too, Dirthamen?” she asked the other elf, a little too hopeful.

It looked like Falon’Din was going to answer her, but Dirthamen replied first.

“May I have a word with you, Suledin?” he asked, gesturing for her to follow him.

She nodded and went with him to another room. Anna had a feeling of what he wanted to speak about. _Don’t you dare let Falon’Din get hurt!_ Anna pictured him saying. She really hoped he’d cry.

“What’s up?”

Dirthamen smiled, and Anna found herself smiling back helplessly. Dirthamen was definitely the handsomest of the Evanuris, with his perfect hair and honey-like voice and fantastic bone structure. Sometimes it distracted her.

“Falon’Din is anxious,” Dirthamen explained, a little more tersely now. “He does not trust many in this organization…”

Anna nodded. _And he shouldn’t_. Everybody hated that elf. She was a little surprised no one had tried to assassinate him yet.

“But he trusts you.”

“He does?” Anna couldn’t recall any evidence of this. Or even a good reason for why he should in the first place, for that matter.

Dirthamen tilted his head questioningly. “You haven’t noticed?”

When Anna only shrugged in response, he hummed in consideration.

“Falon’Din does not admit when he needs help,” Dirthamen continued. “If you notice something amiss with him… Come to me first in the Fade.” He eyed her carefully. “Not Fen’Harel.”

Anna had no idea how to respond. Dirthamen had a lot of nerve to tell Anna to put him before her own nas’falon, even if she wasn’t on the best terms with Solas. But she supposed she’d ask Dirthamen to do the same.

“Okay,” Anna agreed. Because, really, what did it matter, anyway?

“Be careful, Suledin,” he said. 

When the two returned, Jaren had already packed up the wagon with Falon’Din’s belongings. Anna watched as Dirthamen and Falon’Din whispered goodbyes to each other, the pair acting like they’d never see one another again. They kissed and held each other, and she was pretty sure she caught Falon’Din wiping his eye. _Stop being so dramatic_ , she thought with a roll of her eyes. (If only Solas would treat her like that.)

“Ready?” Jaren asked when Dirthamen had left.

“Let’s do this,” Anna answered.

* * *

Back when Solas used to take precious time out of his too-full schedule to teach Anna, he used to give her magic lessons, for no other reason besides he wanted to.

Back then, he would teach her about the Veil. How to manipulate it and call elements, and even step through it. It was surprisingly easy, once she tried it. Like a second nature she never knew she had.

Sylaise would sometimes sit in on these lessons, although Anna had no idea why. It was probably because she needed a break from all the plotting. It’d get tiring after a while, Anna assumed.

The first time Solas taught her to Fade-Step, he told her to feel the Veil, and picture where she wanted to be... and then just _be_ there.

She got it on her first try.

Solas blinked, looking a bit astounded, which was unusual for him. “Impressive, vhenan,” he cooed, all breathy and excited.

Sylaise didn’t seem very impressed. She was watching Anna with that little smirk that always seemed to be playing on her all-too-pretty lips.

“Is it usually hard to do?” Anna asked, genuinely curious.

“I have never seen anyone step through the Veil on their first attempt,” he explained, slowly and very thoughtful. His gaze drifted off into the distance for a few moments before returning to hers with a smile. “Although, they are usually children.”

Anna gave him a playful little shove. He grabbed her hand and kissed it.

Sylaise observed the two of them for a few moments before standing. “I believe that’s enough for today’s lesson, is it not? I must speak with you about something, Fen’Harel.”

Solas nodded. He gave Anna one last parting kiss before following the other elf out the door.

* * *

Nowadays, Anna supposed she was good at moving through the Veil, although she’d always been a little scared of trying farther distances and Stepping to places she’d never been before. What if she landed in the middle of the ocean? Or in a fire? Or in a bear’s den? (Did bears _have_ dens here?)

She knew Solas was very adept at it. He could move across countries with barely a breath of magic. He was just so _powerful_ now, even if Mythal’s essence had already been passed to Morrigan. It was like… something had awoken inside him, some well of power that was just lying dormant, waiting to be discovered, or perhaps merely activated.

Or maybe he just stole all of Mythal’s magic before giving her up. Maybe he only gave a _part_ of her up. Anna had considered all of these, but was too scared to actually ask him.

She sighed. That was what her life was like now. Too scared to ask her nas’falon even a question. Scared to make him dislike her even more than he already did.

Generally, she preferred walking over Stepping, which might shock most people who knew her laziness, but Anna could never really get rid of that nauseous feeling that came with Fade-Stepping. It spun her stomach in funny places, and she always saw stars for a few blinks afterward. Walking was just easier, and she didn’t usually need to go very far, anyway.

Until now, she thought. It would be so much easier to Fade-Step to Minrathous, instead of taking a week to get there with these boring, silent elves on this loud and rickety wagon.

Jaren had explained that they would be going to an estate just outside of Minrathous. It would take about a week, and they were traveling by carriage. Most of the eluvian network was either destroyed or compromised (Anna wasn’t sure by whom—perhaps Briala, but she had once heard of some Qunari as well), so the old-fashioned way was the best option.

Anna and Falon’Din ended up sitting beside each other while Jaren held the reins. Falon’Din had been ignoring both of them the whole time, probably still pouting over being separated from his precious Dirthamen.

“So,” Anna said over the bumpy road, “how are you, Falon?”

“How do you think?” he sneered in a tone she really didn’t appreciate at all. “I have been forced to work for a traitor’s cause.”

He still liked to call Solas _The Traitor_ , which actually amused her more than aggravated. “But don’t you _also_ believe in this cause?” she asked.

Falon’Din looked at her then, _really_ looked at her. His eyes connected with hers, and she sensed some strange feeling behind it, one she couldn’t really quite pinpoint.

And suddenly, a memory hit her like a movie flashback.

A few years ago, the Evanuris decided to have a party. A “real” party, like the ones during the time of Elvhenan. But that was difficult to achieve now with the Veil and everything, as they couldn’t make all the lights and food as magical as they wanted.

The party ended up being in the Fade, where everyone’s collective subconscious could cook up the greatest festivity that even the most pompous of Orlesians would be jealous of.

Solas had just toasted the party with a truly bombastic speech about how Elvhenan will rise again. The whole place lit up with excitement—spirit or otherwise, a dazzling vision of lustrously colored wisps and sculpted architecture.

And her eye caught Falon’Din’s, who looked so incredibly luminous it was blinding. His whole body was haloed in shining light, and he was by far the brightest being around.

It was the first time she'd ever seen him in the Fade, and to be perfectly honest, it was a bit shocking. Solas had always looked brighter in dreams, true, but not like how Falon looked now. His skin shone so radiant it was practically fluorescent, and his entire body seemed to be singing with life. 

Anna couldn't look away, she was transfixed. 

Which was awkward, since he just so happened to be glancing her way at that very same moment, and now they were just staring at each other. Anna thought to talk to him, maybe ask him _why_ he looked like a lightbulb, but that would require speaking to her least favorite god. So they just continued to gape.

The only thing that broke their eye contact was someone asking Anna a question, and she ended up never speaking to him at all that night.

Anna blinked herself back into the present, to the now dulled, real version of the elf sitting in the rickety wagon across from her. He never answered her question about his belief in Solas’s cause, and instead looked out into the fields they were passing. After quite a while of this, Anna just sighed and tried her best to sleep. At least she could always find someone to talk to in the Fade.

* * *

Anna spent the majority of her time dreaming these days. She used to spend most of her time shooting arrows, but hitting the center of a target only got so interesting. Ghilan’nain helped a little in that department, but the excitement was always fleeting.

Then there was practicing spells, which actually had her over the moons at first. Anna recalled how excited she’d get every time she’d successfully casted something new. She’d run up to Solas, burst into his study like he wasn’t the busy commander of a secret organization, and make all his books float around his room. At least he pretended not to be upset. (At first.)

The less Solas seemed interested in her progress, the less she became with it as well. What was the point, anyway? Anna wasn’t planning on fighting, and she was never really in danger anymore. Plus, she already knew all the basic spells to make her day-to-day life easier, like cleaning her teeth and warming her baths, so why bother with more?

Elvhen language and books kept her entertained for some time too, but soon she was exhausted of that as well. It sounded pathetic, but Anna really missed playing video games and watching her favorite shows. She missed having all different types of media that were just _made_ to entertain her. To help her escape.

So she turned to the closest thing she could: The Fade.

Solas had warned her (unnecessarily) about the perils of dreaming for mages. She’d never been a mage before, and he was worried she might be overcome by an enterprising demon. But he didn’t need to be.

Anna was actually quite good at talking to spirits. She wasn’t sure what it was, but everything in the Fade came pretty naturally to her. Perhaps it was because she had always been a dreamer, even since childhood. Or maybe it was because she used to think the Fade was only a video game.

She’d even made a friend with a desire demon there. Well, _Anna_ would call it a friend. Desire would say otherwise.

Anna remembered the first time the spirit (or demon or whatever) came to visit her. It was dressed up like Solas, and she laughed when it called her vhenan.

“What’s your name?” Anna asked it.

“Anna,” the spirit chuckled, smiling with Solas’s most charming expression, “it is only me.”

She shook her head. “I’m not stupid, you know. I can tell when he’s here.” He was her nas’falon. Finding him was like breathing.

The demon changed shape immediately, and it looked much more like she’d expected it to: violet, horned, and overtly sexual.

“That’s better,” Anna said with a smile. “What’s your name?”

“Desire.”

Anna considered this. “Were you once a spirit of purpose?” Solas had said in the past that they could be twisted to become desire demons.

“I have purpose.”

“But were you _once_ Purpose?”

“Perhap. Perhaps not.”

She sighed. Spirits could be so annoying at times.

“Perhaps you have too many desires for me to be Purpose,” it said.

Anna hummed at that. Interesting. “Let’s be friends, Desire.”

“We can be more than friends,” it suggested.

“No thanks.”

“We can get _his_ attention back. Together.”

“Nah.”

“Do you not want his attention?”

“I _want_ to be friends with you.” She looked the demon over. “Don’t you want a friend?”

Desire just disappeared in a huff then, not bothering with a response. But it did come back, eventually. Several times. And now it was her friend, in a way.

* * *

She woke when they arrived at an inn.

Anna wasn’t sure what she’d expected the sleeping arrangements to be. Camping, perhaps? It was what she’d always done with the Inquisition. And when she’d been closer with Solas, he’d simply walk through the Veil to any destination, as if it were as simple as opening a door. And when she’d been without him, well… there were the eluvians. But since Anna’d been holed up in their Tevinter base for well over a year, and apparently the eluvians were now compromised, she supposed staying at an inn made sense.

“Please tell me you have alcohol,” Anna asked the innkeeper. The lady nodded in response.

The first night like this, Anna spent her evening drinking alone in the tavern portion of the inn. She tried to talk to the other patrons hanging out there, but they were surly and rude and had no time for her. The second night on their journey, in another inn, Jaren drank with her. And he did it again on the third and the fourth. It was nearly becoming A Thing, and she remembered why she didn’t like him. Bits of his personality—his _real_ personality—started to slip out, and it wasn’t the polite little soldier facade he projected with straight posture and salutes.

“You’re just so _shem_ ,” Jaren slurred at her, waving his heavy stein in the air. “With your ears that you parade around, all proud and privileged.” The _p_ sounds made him sputter some saliva. “How can you be an officer in our cause? How can _you_ be the savior’s soulmate?”

“ _Actually_ ,” Anna hiccuped, clinking her glass with his, even though Jaren was definitely not trying to toast hers, “ _you’re_ the one who’s shem.” And she couldn’t stop laughing after that, all the way back to her room. Because it _was_ ridiculous, really. Anna was immortal, just like Solas was. But how could she be immortal? _Was_ she even immortal? She had no way to actually tell.

Jaren apologized the next morning, completely hungover and ashamed. Anna just patted his back and said, “You’re buying tonight’s round.”

Every night, she hoped to see Falon’Din walking towards the bar instead of Jaren. He’d barely said a word to either of them this whole journey, and it was starting to hurt her feelings. (Only _starting_. Not actually hurting, just yet.)

Falon’Din usually talked to Anna, even if he acted annoyed the whole time. He’d tell her all about how incorrect her form was for calling lightning. He’d tell her the mean things Andruil and Sylaise said behind her back. (Which was probably meant to hurt her, but it was actually quite useful to know who was lying to her face.) And if he was drunk, he’d tell her about Elvhenan.

They were supposed to arrive at the estate tomorrow, and Anna really wanted to hear about ye olde days of Elvhen tonight, because it was what this whole operation was building towards. And she really needed some hope, some inspiration. Some purpose.

Instead, she just listened to Jaren blabber on about nothing until they were well into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a lot of flashback/memories in this chapter, but I promise it won't always be like this! Just have to do a lot of setup in the beginning. :D And omg, thank you for all the support so far! This was way more than I expected, and I feel really honored! If any part confuses you, feel free to let me know. I'm happy to answer questions or fix something, too.


	3. Chapter 3

“Suledin,” Dirthamen smiled, his face brighter in the Fade. “How is he?”

“Well, I have no idea because he won’t even talk to me.” Anna sighed. “Is Falon’Din okay? He usually talks to me a _little._ ”

Dirthamen’s gaze moved out onto the green floating stones of the Fade and said, “He did not want to take part in Fen’Harel’s machinations.”

Her brows lifted. “Are you serious? Why the hell not?” When he didn’t answer for a time, she said, “He’s afraid of losing control again, isn’t he? He just wants to rule the elves instead of empower them?”

Dirthamen looked at her again, his eyes clouded with disdain. “You know nothing of the time of Elvhenan, child. Do not speak as if you know what it was.”

“I know plenty!” she shouted. Anna hated it when the Evanuris would talk down to her. She may not have lived in Thedas for as long as they have, but she still knew enough about it from Solas.

Yelling at Dirthamen did it. All the sweetness from him disappeared, his expression becoming menacing. “You know nothing,” he repeated.

Anna just left in annoyance.

  


* * *

  


She never liked their Antivan residence, although it was better than their Fereldan home, at least. _Bleh_. That one looked like a dog had ripped it to shreds (and knowing Ferelden, it probably had). The Tevinter base had always been one of the nicest, but it was nowhere near as nice as _this_.

Anna couldn’t help but gape.

They had finally arrived at the Magister’s estate the next morning, and it was enormous. In a possibly-never-escaping sort of way. Anna hadn’t been in a house with such high ceilings since Skyhold—and that was a fucking castle.

Jaren was whisked away by some servants as soon as they arrived, which confused Anna immensely, but she didn’t have time to ask where he was going before a brazen-looking elf approached her.

“The master isn’t home,” she told them. “He’s not to return for a few days, I believe.”

Why was the universe so cruel?

But the elf—a servant, apparently (of course)—told them they could stay at the house, and that was just as disappointing. Although the mansion _was_ massive… Could it possibly have its own tavern? She could only hope.

Elven servants led Anna and Falon’Din to their guest quarters. The two rooms were directly across the hall from each other, and much too close for Anna’s liking. This mansion was huge. Couldn’t they spare a farther room?

But she supposed it’d be better to stay near him than near no one at all.

The head elf—Severina was her name, and it fit her well—brought them around the estate in a tour, and Falon’Din had the decency to seem mildly interested. There were gardens, stables, a huge library, and even a ballroom. And a wine cellar. A _big_ one.

“The master has collected bottles for decades to fill these cellars,” Severina explained, gesturing to the cold, damp room around them. The wine cellar was so important that it even had its own guards.

“Can the guests drink some?” Anna asked hopefully.

“No,” she said, quite stern.

But Anna shot Falon’Din a pointed glance then, and she knew he was thinking the same thing. _Who would miss one bottle?_

As they toured the grounds, Anna noticed how all the elves on the property seemed to stare at Falon’Din. It was probably unusual for them to see an elf treated as a guest, and he always carried himself like he was a king looking down upon his subjects. Or like a god, she supposed.

Every way he glanced seemed to send elves flying in a fluster. They would look away from him immediately, blushes creeping up their necks. It probably didn’t help that he was rather handsome. (Although she would never tell _him_ that.) Those high cheekbones and perfect nose. And such well-conditioned black locks, hanging just past his shoulders... _Such shiny hair_. How did he get it so silky-looking?

She really couldn’t blame them for staring. His presence felt noble… otherworldly, even. Anna was just too used to his ridiculousness to really notice anymore. Plus, it was just _Falon’Din_. Maybe being friends with your own murderer made them feel closer. Anna would have to ponder more on that.

After the tour and a very awkward meal, Severina led them back to their rooms, and it was well into nighttime.

“Interested in that wine, Falon’Din?” Anna asked the moment the two of them were alone.

The elf was about to enter his room, but he turned to face her again. “And how would we get past the guards?” he asked, seeming actually curious.

Anna shrugged. “You’re good at distracting people...”

He arched a brow. “Do I sense your tiny mind formulating some sort of plan?” he smirked at her.

“Don’t _you_ want some wine?” Anna said, crossing her arms. “We’ve only been here half a day, and it’s already mind-numbingly boring.”

“Of course I want some wine,” Falon’Din said, turning back towards his door again and reaching for the handle. “Which is why I have already acquired three bottles.”

“What? _How?_ ”

Falon’Din walked through his door, leaving it open behind him. She followed him through it.

“ _Magic,_ Suledin. How else do you think? Are you really so dense?”

“But—” she sputtered, now staring at the three bottles sitting on a table, “but _when_? And with what spell? Was this what you did when you used the bathroom?”

“No more questions.”

Anna took a good look around his room then, and had to stop herself from giggling. It was smaller than the one she’d been given. Then Anna stopped snickering when she realized it was probably because the Vints were so racist.

Falon’Din was already working on uncorking a bottle of wine. He did it with an easy pop, and came walking over with two glasses held in his hands. She had no idea where any of this had come from—the wine, the bottle opener, the glasses—but she was happy nonetheless.

When he offered her the glass, she didn’t take it right away. 

“Will you not drink after all?” he asked. 

“I… I just didn’t expect you to drink with me. You didn’t all week.” 

“Was my absence so devastating?” he asked, mouth quivering on the verge of a smile. 

“Peaceful, actually,” she said, trying not to roll her eyes. “I do want some wine though, thank you.” 

He handed it over, his lips still twitching with amusement. “Cheers,” he said in Elvhen, with only the slightest hint of sarcasm. “To everlasting life.”

“I’m not cheers-ing that, Falon,” Anna replied, taking her first sip of the wine. _Fruity_.

“Why ever not?” Falon’Din asked dryly.

“Because I didn’t _want_ this. I didn’t _want_ to be immortal.”

He narrowed his eyes on her. “You didn’t _want_ to be immortal? Then why did you make half the Evanuris perform that spell upon you?”

Anna rolled her eyes. “For _Solas_ , obviously. Why would I want to live forever? That’s way too long.”

Falon’Din took a sip while eyeing her. “Well, wish it or not, you made the choice.”

Anna sighed. “I know.”

  


* * *

  


A few hours later, they were both sitting on the plush sofa in his quarters. There was a fireplace in the room that Falon’Din had ignited with magic, and they’d both been watching it as they chatted rather amicably.

Finishing her glass, Anna reached for the wine bottle again. She poured the last drops of it into her cup and winced. “It’s empty,” she cried.

“You greedy nug,” Falon’Din drawled, reaching for her drink. “This was my bottle, so the last glass is _mine_.”

“It is not!” Anna snapped, holding the wine high above her head. “None of this was yours, anyway. You stole it.”

Falon’Din smiled at her and giggled. “Your glass is dripping, Suledin.”

Anna muttered a curse and wiped the spot currently staining her tunic. The wine was spreading quickly too, and she uselessly tried to rub it out, only spreading the red stain further.

“Use a _spell_.” Falon’Din rolled his eyes. He waved his hand before the stain, calling some magic to his fingers. As he touched the spot, it started to disappear beneath a blue glow. “You’re so…” he mumbled, watching the fabric clear as his hand rested on her shirt, “obtuse.”

Anna raised her brows. “Good one, Falon,” she said, peeling his hand off her chest and dropping it beside him. “Your glass is still full, anyway, so this one’s mine.”

He made a _hmph_ noise and fell back into the sofa. “I don’t know why I even bothered taking it at all. The wine from Arlathan was far superior to this drivel.”

Anna perked up with interest at the mention of Elvhenan. “Oh?”

Falon’Din leaned towards her. “It would _sing_ to you,” he purred. “Hum all the way down your throat until it’d harmonize with your stomach.” He took a sip. “Sensational.”

Anna rubbed her eyes with a hand as she shook her head, as if that would wipe out his statement. “You’re making me sick,” she shuddered.

“It. Was. Fantastic.” He punctuated each word with a jab of his glass. 

“It sounds like vibrating liquid.”

He rolled his eyes. “You would feel differently if you had tasted it.”

Anna doubted that, but she was glad that Falon’Din was now drunk enough to reminisce. She jumped at the opportunity. “Do you think we’ll ever have castles in the sky again? Will the Evanuris really bring all the elves’ magic back?”

Falon’Din studied her a moment, considering something. “I believe it’s possible. Although perhaps not by the Evanuris alone.” He sipped his glass and stared into the fire. 

She tilted her head with curiosity. “What do you mean? What other power could help?”

He tore his eyes from the fire to bore into hers. “The world itself would need to change.”

“Change how?”

“Change to accommodate so many mages. And so much magic.”

“And how would we do that?”

“Perhaps you should ask your Fen’Harel that question.”

Anna huffed a pathetic-sounding laugh. “Like he’d tell me. He barely even speaks to me.”

Falon’Din didn’t say anything, only stared into the fire and drank his glass.

“He doesn’t…” She sighed in exasperation. Anna knew she shouldn’t be talking about this. She knew that she wouldn’t even think to, if it weren’t for that now-empty bottle of wine, but she was well past the stage of caring at this point. “He doesn’t even touch me anymore.”

“I see,” Falon’Din replied quietly, without even a hint of emotion in his voice.

“He hasn’t for years.” She felt the prick of tears nudge her eyes.

The elf nearly choked on his wine. “Years?” he coughed.

Anna shrugged, wiping one of her eyes, too intoxicated to consider holding the tears back. “At least two years.” She stared into the fire as a few more teardrops fell, her voice starting to quiver as she spoke. “And he doesn’t call me vhenan anymore either.”

Falon’Din’s jaw clenched at that, as if he were angry. But he couldn’t possibly be… right? Anna shut her eyes, the embarrassment now hitting her like a wrecking ball. Falon’Din pitying her was probably the worst thing in the world, right after her nas’falon hating her.

“Anna,” he said softly. Sympathy just radiating from his voice. 

She shook her head. He must really be pitying her now if he was using her birth name. Falon’Din, with the perfect nas’falon who would never hate him, would never ignore him for years and act like he didn’t matter, was now pitying her. Because he was probably the only person who understood how horrible such treatment would feel like.

“I should go,” she said, standing.

“If you must.”

Anna left without looking back. She cried that night until she eventually fell asleep.

  


* * *

  


If someone were to ask her the exact moment when Solas had went from vhenan to… well, nothing, she couldn’t actually answer. (And it wasn’t like anyone would ask her this, anyway.) There was no memory to pinpoint, no dramatic fight or weepy tears. It was just a teetering off. A slow, but steady decline. Solas used to say he loved her, and then he just smiled, and then he didn’t speak to her at all.

Anna hated it, of course. How could she not? He was her person. He was supposed to be her partner in life. _Eternal_ life. Soulmates were different for immortals. It wasn’t something that lasted a mere sixty years. It was supposed to last sixty thousand. They were supposed to watch the world change together, holding hands all the way through. Not this barely-acknowledge-each-other bullshit.

She shouldn’t feel like she needed to earn his love. Anna was supposed to already have it. Didn’t she?

But did she even love him anymore?

_Of course I do_ , she’d always tell herself. It felt preposterous to even contemplate it. _I love Solas. That’s my thing_. It had been her thing since she first saw him in the alternate universe that she was born in, the one where Thedas was only a world in a game. She loved his stories. His fascination with the world, with cultures, with knowledge. She loved his humor. How he’d tease her. She loved the way he could weave meaning into anything. Solas was like a living, breathing metaphor.

_Nas’falon_. Sometimes she’d chant the word in her head, to remind herself that it was real, no matter how he treated her now. They were soulmates, and it would be impossible for Solas to change that, even if he wanted to. Everyone in the organization knew it. They all knew that Anna was connected to the Dread Wolf by spirit. They’d even whisper and point about it sometimes. (Only the new elves, of course. They were always shocked to see it was a human.)

So Solas probably just kept her around for that. Good PR. It’d look bad if he just dumped his nas’falon in the bin as soon as he’d tired of her. He was the elves’ _savior_ after all. The one elf to guide them all.

Everyone had expected Elgar’nan to take that role, but he and most of the other Evanuris actually didn’t want it. They, like Solas had (or perhaps still _did_ ), saw the modern elves as shadows of the People, so why bother trying to guide them? The All-Father preferred to build a new Elvhenan across the sea, so it could be to his liking (whatever the hell that meant).

So Solas took over, which was probably best, as he took freeing elves _very_ seriously. (Anna loved that about him.) He freed and he freed, and he removed vallaslin to those who wished it, and he gradually, subtly, eventually forgot her.


	4. Chapter 4

Anna kept thinking about what Falon’Din had said. About needing to change the world itself to bring magic back to the elves. She wanted to ask Solas about this. She wanted to, but didn’t. _He’d only get mad_.

Although they didn’t speak much these days, she would at least see Solas around, and she missed catching sight of his bald head pottering about. She wanted to see him. She felt like she needed to.

Last night, Anna had gone to their spot in the Fade. She and Solas had chosen it together years ago. It was a place where they could always find each other, no matter the distance. Anna wanted to prove that it really wasn’t as bad as it seemed. That if he came, then he cared—even if his actions said otherwise.

She went to that spot last night and waited. And waited and waited. But of course, he never came. 

Desire did though. The spirit slipped into her dreams and sat beside her, this time dressed as Ghilan’nain.

“It’s not your fault he doesn’t talk to you,” she said. “I don’t have a soulmate, but from what I’ve seen of Dirthamen and Falon’Din, periods of separation happen.”

Anna sighed. “That’s pretty clunky Ghilan’nain, even for you, Desire.”

Desire shrugged, keeping Ghil’s form anyway. “I thought it sounded like her.”

Anna lay herself down, staring up into the ever-changing sky. “Is it true, what you said? About Falon and Dirth?”

The spirit looked down at her. “Yes.”

She didn’t know if the spirit was lying or not, but it was comforting nonetheless. Relationships were never perfect, especially ones that were eternal… Although Anna hoped that she and Solas could have lasted a little longer than a few years.

Anna wished she could speak to the real Ghilan’nain. She’d be able to confirm if what the spirit said was true, and then they could shoot arrows at wooden cutouts of the Evanuris. (They’d never actually done this, although Anna had suggested it. Ghil only laughed in response.)

She liked Desire well enough, but the spirit was always trying to sneak some sort of deal out of her. It was like it thought Anna could be its long con. That if the spirit stuck around her long enough, Anna would eventually lose composure and agree to becoming an abomination or something.

It wouldn’t be the worst idea, she supposed. Solas might not like it, but it’s not like he really seemed to care what she did with herself these days. Perhaps Anna and Desire could have a happy little bond, like Wynne did…

“You are right,” the spirit said. “We would both be much happier.”

“How do you even know if you’re happy?”

“When my purpose is fulfilled.”

“But how do you know when that will be?”

“I do not know. I only keep working until I am fulfilled.”

“Am I your purpose?”

“You could be.”

Anna hummed. “I’ll have to think about that one.” She smiled up at Desire. “You’re good at making me think, you know that?

Desire blinked at her with Ghilan’nain’s eyes. “We could be better than thinking, if we were together.”

  


* * *

  


The next day, Anna decided she really didn’t have any reason to leave her room. It had its own bathroom, and someone had helpfully stocked all the bowls with fruit, so why not stay in? She had also discovered an entire set of Tevinter romance novels called _The Altus and the Liberati_ that could rival any Tethras, so it was even more reason to sequester herself. (She also wondered if anyone would miss these books if they mysteriously disappeared…) 

Anna probably would have succeeded as a complete shut-in for the day, if it wasn’t for the soft knock on her door, sometime in the early evening.

“Suledin? It’s Jaren.”

It’d be a lie to tell herself she wasn’t a bit disappointed that it wasn’t Falon’Din. But that was probably for the best anyway.

“What is it, Jaren? Are you okay?” Anna asked through the door instead of opening it. She was still wearing her nightdress and hadn’t bathed or anything.

“...Can I come in?”

Anna exhaled. It’s not like she really cared what the elf thought of her anyway, she supposed.

His eyes bulged a little when he saw the state of her.

“Creators, Suledin,” he said, eyeing her from head to toe. It was funny how some elves still used that colloquialism, especially when most of them had actually met their “creators” already. But, Anna thought, old habits died hard.

“Are _you_ okay?” he asked.

Anna crossed her arms and tapped her fingers against her skin. She didn’t like this sudden friendliness from Jaren. Just because they drank together every night for a week did not mean he could come in here and discern immediately how depressed she was. Anna had hoped he was a little less observant than that, but apparently Jaren was sharper than she pegged him for.

“The magister’s not here yet, so why bother going out?” Anna shrugged.

Jaren sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I had hoped you would come and find me, you know,” he said. “The elves here don’t even talk to me; they just tell me chores to do around the estate. I had to trim all the bushes in the western courtyard today.” He dropped his hand to his side, looking at the floor. “I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life.”

Okay, now she felt terrible. “Shit, Jaren. I’m sorry.” Jaren was Dalish. He’d never been a slave in his life. And slavery was exactly what his entire people were fighting against. What Solas’s organization was against. “I thought they’d treat you differently since you’re a guest.”

“Nope,” he said, moving to sit on the couch in her room. “Apparently only one of the Evanuris gets that sort of treatment.”

Anna sat beside him and reached for his arm. She wouldn’t normally do this—most elves in the Dread Wolf’s army hated being touched, especially by a human—but she felt so horrible about how he was treated that she completely forgot her manners in favor of comforting him.

“I’ll talk to Severina tomorrow and sort this all out,” she told him, giving his arm a squeeze. “And if she doesn’t listen, you just punch them if they ask or something. Well—maybe don’t do that, since we need the Magister on our side… but you can just come in here and hide with me, okay?”

Jaren didn’t answer, but instead looked at the stack of books on the table beside the sofa.

“I’ve been reading those all day,” Anna said, pulling her hand away.

“Are they good?” he asked quietly.

“Complete trash,” she answered, “but I think I’m addicted.”

Jaren snorted, and then he picked up the first volume and read along with her.

  


* * *

  


Anna was in the Fade, messing around as she always did, when she noticed another presence had entered her dream. It wasn’t Solas. This aura had an obnoxiously haughty feel to it, one that she recognized instantly. And yet he was trying to hide from her, as if she wouldn’t notice a person so absurd in her dreams.

“Why, hello,” she said. “Want me to play the hits? I could show you some of Solas’s favorites.”

Falon’Din froze at her voice.

Anna turned towards him, her lips quirking into a small smile. “What? You thought I wouldn’t notice you lurking in my dreams?” It was a little preposterous for him to think so. Someone who shined as brightly as Falon’Din simply couldn’t be ignored. 

Falon’Din rolled his eyes, but his body fully formed from the cloaked area he had been skulking in, wisps zooming in from every direction to give him a vivid glow. “This is my first time visiting, Suledin,” he reasoned, as if her dreams were some public tourist attraction.

“‘Visiting’?” she asked, eyebrows hiked into the air. 

His gaze wandered the area. “I wished to see what all the”—his eyes fell to hers—“interest was about.”

Other elves had expressed curiosity in seeing her dreams before, once they discovered that she could form places from her world through the Fade. She usually wouldn’t let them, though. It made her feel like some sort of novelty sideshow, and she was already too much of a freak as it was, being the immortal soulmate of their Elvhen leader.

But she wouldn’t mind showing Falon’Din. He already thought she was a freak, anyway.

“Well,” she said, spreading her hands, “step right up to the Suledin Show! Admission price is your pride.”

Falon’Din rolled his eyes, but approached her, chin held high with his hands linked behind him. “Well?” he said with a small smile. “My pride is discarded.”

Anna smiled back, flushing a little. “Okay, hmm,” she thought. Anna was a bit more excited than she anticipated. Here was the vampire, ready and waiting for her to show him whatever she pleased. The elf that would always roll his eyes at her, and poke fun at anything he could when it came to Anna. She wanted to make his stupid, pale jaw drop.

“Stop number one,” she said, stepping back a little with a wave of her arm. “The Empire State Building.”

The landscape shifted from a serene field to a cloudy cityscape, seen from the top of one of New York City’s tallest buildings. There was nothing like this in Thedas, and she smirked a little as Falon’Din took in the scene.

His eyes were wide.

“This… this is your world?” he said, almost like an accusation.

“Uh-huh.”

“The one you were born in?”

“Yep.” And when he didn’t say anything else, she asked, “What do you think?”

“I think Fen’Harel is an even greater fool than I thought.”

“Huh?”

“What is this?” he asked, ignoring her question and pointing to one of the tower viewers.

“That’s a device that lets you see far away.” Anna walked over and angled it towards him. “Try it.”

He bent to look through the viewfinder. She watched as his hair fell over his shoulder, his lips parting in awe. Anna should feel satisfaction from drawing such wonder out of him, but all that came to her was a gnawing ache. She remembered all the times she had shown Solas such views. When he had loved it and couldn’t get enough. When he had been actually interested.

Falon’Din pulled away. “This is…”

One of the corners of her mouth lifted into a half-smile. “Amazing?” she offered. Solas had never used that word to describe her realm, but similar ones nonetheless. (Incredible. Remarkable. Breathtaking.) They were adjectives he had once even used to describe _her_ as.

“Different,” Falon’Din answered. “Different from what I expected.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “And what did you expect, exactly?”

Falon’Din couldn’t tear his eyes away from the city beneath them. “A circus realm, perhaps? Or possibly one made entirely of food.”

Anna snorted. “That’s not a place to be from, Falon. That sounds like a made-up dream world.”

He looked at her then, smiling. “With you, one never knows.”

She crossed her arms. “I think one would know I don’t come from a world of _food_.”

“But you come from a world of dreams,” he said, looking over the ledge again. “That much I had ascertained.”

Anna ended up showing him three more spectacles from her realm. The Grand Canyon (“Enormous.”), an aquarium (“Unsettling.”), and now, a beach. The two sat on the edge of a pier, dangling their feet above the water.

“We have these in Thedas, Suledin,” Falon’Din said, staring out at the stretch of ocean before them.

“I know,” Anna shrugged. “Not everything from my world is weird.”

“I will never think of the ocean the same,” he said quietly. “I had no idea it looked like that at the bottom.”

Falon’Din was talking about the aquarium. Anna almost wanted to laugh at him when they were there. He seemed terrified as a shark swam above them, over the domed glass ceiling. He even stood a little closer to Anna during the whole thing, brushing his shoulder with hers.

“Well, it might not look the same in Thedas. I have no idea if they have coral reefs and such.” She turned towards him, staring at his eerily radiant face. “Falon’Din, I have to ask—Why are you so… shiny? In the Fade?”

“The wisps like me,” he said simply, as if that explained anything.

Like him? Could wisps even feel emotions like affection?

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I listen to them.”

“But wisps can’t talk,” Anna said.

“Then you are not listening closely enough,” he said, trailing his hands along the wood of the pier.

Anna paused, trying to listen to any of the wisps floating around him. All she heard was silence. She couldn’t even hear the sounds of the ocean as she should have, because none of this was real.

Falon’Din was still staring at the horizon when he said, “You gave up much to be here.”

“I didn’t really give up anything,” she said. “I didn’t have a choice. My body had pretty much died in my world.”

“How unfortunate,” he murmured. 

“I’ll never have this world again, but at least I have the Fade.” She shrugged. “It’s better than nothing at all.”

Falon’Din looked at her then. Pointedly. “You have more than the Fade.”

Anna shook her head. “No, I didn’t mean… I don’t mean I—”

“I know what you meant,” he said firmly. “But I am telling you regardless. You have more than the Fade.” It almost sounded like he was saying it more to himself than to her. 

“Thank you,” she said. Then they sat there together in silence. Time was always difficult to discern in the Fade, but it felt like they were staring at that endless ocean for hours. 


	5. Chapter 5

Anna bathed first thing the next morning, and sought out Severina as soon as she was ready. Anna gathered up whatever authoritative cells present in her body to talk the elf into letting Jaren stay as a guest, but she hadn’t needed much clout in the end. Severina surrendered immediately, making Anna feel even more guilty for not asking sooner. Although, it wasn’t like she had expected them to treat Jaren like that in the first place.

“Of course, messere,” Severina said. “I will have him moved right away.”

After that, Anna really didn’t know what to do with herself, since the Magister _still_ hadn’t arrived at the estate yet, so she went back to her quarters, where she promptly ran into Falon’Din, right as he was exiting his own rooms.

He’d been so nice to her last night. Possibly the nicest he’d _ever_ been to her. It made her shift a little uncomfortably. How was she supposed to act around him when he was being so decent for once?

“I am headed to the kitchens,” Falon’Din announced. His hair was tied up in a pile on top of his head, revealing more of his neck than she was used to seeing. It brought her attention to the sharp line of his jaw, which was perfectly parallel to the angle of his ear...

Falon’Din cleared his throat.

“Can I join you?” she stuttered, blinking her gaze back to his eyes again.

He stared at her a moment, slowly raising a brow. “Naturally,” he finally answered, and then started walking down the hall without looking back.

“Don’t you think it’s weird that the Magister still isn’t here yet?” Anna asked, hurrying to catch up with him.

“Is it?” he replied lazily. “How long has it been?”

Immortals. So terrible with time. “It’s been three days.”

“That isn’t very long, Suledin.”

“But didn’t he know we were coming? Or is it normal for guests to wait in an empty house before the owner arrives?” Anna glanced around, making sure no one could hear her as she lowered her voice to a whisper. “And don’t you think it’s strange how he has so many slaves? I thought he was a _supporter_ of our cause. Why would he have so many slaves if he was?”

“What are you talking about?” he exhaled. “And how can I get you to stop talking about it?”

“ _Falon_.” She pulled on his sleeve until he stopped walking. “Having elven slaves seems very anti-Elvhen, don’t you think?”

“I suppose,” he replied, jerking his arm away from her. “But he has a part to play in society, and in the Tevinter Imperium, that requires owning slaves.”

“Does it really _require_ that, though? Couldn’t he just pretend from the outside, and let them be free when no one is paying attention?”

“How am I supposed to know?” Falon’Din said, clearly annoyed now. “I have yet to even meet the man.” He continued towards the kitchens.

“Something just doesn’t feel right about this whole thing,” Anna said, following after him.

“And how would you know how it feels like?” he drawled. “You’ve never even been on a mission before.”

“I guess you’re right,” Anna hummed. Perhaps their Tevinter contact had to lead a double life, and missions were usually like this.

“I am always right,” Falon'Din said.

“That’s definitely _not_ right.”

The elf only smiled in return.

* * *

Falon’Din was very neat when he ate. He dabbed his mouth every other bite, and always kept his lips firmly closed while he chewed and cut another tiny piece. Anna probably shouldn’t be staring, but she found it a bit fascinating that someone so rude and ridiculous would have the best table manners.

Some of the elves had made them a meal, even though Anna had practically begged them to let her prepare her own food. This was partially because she didn’t like the idea of slaves cooking for her, and also because she still didn’t fully trust this house not to poison her.

Perhaps this stance would have had a stronger effect if she hadn’t only requested it on her fourth meal at the estate. But better late than never, she supposed.

Anna ate another bite, and then went back to examining Falon’Din, who kept his eyes trained on his food the entire time. His steak was done so rare and pink, she wondered if he really _was_ a vampire.

“Do you always like your meat that raw?” Anna asked, and then she nearly choked laughing at the implication of her statement. _Meat, pfft._

“You have the most terrible sense of humor.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Like yours is any better,” she muttered. Anna met his eyes again. “You eat really slow, you know.”

Falon’Din finished chewing before he answered her. Slowly. “ _I_ eat at a normal pace. _You,_ however, consume at the speed of a—”

“ _Let me guess_ ,” Anna cut in, “nug?”

“Have you finally accepted your likeness to the creature?” Falon’Din smiled.

“No,” she sneered, “but you’ve called me a nug since the first day I met you. I even learned the word in Elvhen because of you. _I get it, thanks_.”

Falon’Din wiped his mouth and stood. “Come, nug,” he said. “I wish to walk the gardens.”

* * *

“These shouldn’t be called gardens,” Anna whined. “This is like… full-on forest. We’re _hiking_ right now.”

“Hurry, Suledin. We’ll miss the sunset.”

“ _That’s_ what we’re rushing towards? A fucking sunset?” Anna growled. And then the ground fell out beneath her, and she tumbled until she was lying on her back on the dirt floor.

“ _Anna_ ,” Falon’Din said above her, shaking his head, “watch your footing.” He held out an arm to lift her.

“I hate this,” Anna moaned.

Falon'Din pulled her up. “Are you injured?” he asked, still holding her arm, eyes flitting over her.

She dusted off her pants. “No, don’t think so.”

Falon’Din didn’t waste a moment and began tugging her through the trees. He must have been really excited for this sunset. It pulled at her heartstrings that he cared about such a small thing, in a way she couldn’t quite explain… Solas had told her how Falon’Din had murdered countless people, for no other reason besides amusement. It was disturbing to think about, and didn’t seem to fit this elf at all, who seemed more eager to see a sunset than even the most avid naturalists. But maybe he just cared more about nature than people.

It reminded her of Solas. (Everything reminded her of Solas.) How he used to love wandering the Fade in search of ancient memories, sometimes even bringing her along...

“Falon,” she said. “Does he… does he ever talk about me?”

“Speak with clarity, Suledin,” he chided. “Of whom do you speak?”

“Solas,” Anna said to the ground. “In all those Evanuris meetings you all have without me.” The Evanuris gathered frequently to discuss the state of the organization, and Anna was always pointedly kept from them. At least now it didn't hurt her as much as it used to.

His eyes only glanced at Anna quickly before they wandered away again. “No,” he answered. “Not usually.”

“But he has?”

“Briefly, yes.”

“When? What did he say?”

It was then that they reached the end of the forest, which happened to be the edge of a cliff. It was begrudgingly beautiful, well worth the trek, and Anna wondered how he knew to find such a view here. The world opened up beneath them to a beautiful valley with rivers and trees and everything a lion might want to rule as a king. The sun was lowering sluggishly in the distance, painting the sky in a myriad of pinks and oranges.

“I cannot recall exactly,” Falon’Din answered softly after a few moments, “but he has spoken of your magic.”

Anna tore her eyes from the vista to look at him. “My magic?”

He examined her briefly before replying. “It shares the same impressions as Fen’Harel’s.”

“Impressions?”

“Like Dirthamen and I,” Falon’Din explained. “We also share the same magic.”

“Oh,” Anna said. Interesting. “Anything else?”

Falon sighed, turning back towards the sunset. “What are you looking for, Suledin?”

Anna just shrugged and looked away, wiping an errant tear from her eye. Tears always seemed to be sneaking up on her these days. She stared out at what looked like the edge of the world—this Thedas, a place that she really didn't seem to be a part of. What did it matter if she succeeded in this mission? The Magister certainly wasn't in a rush to meet them, and Solas hadn't even tried to contact her for an update on their quest. Which indicated that it probably wasn't very important, and none of this mattered. _She_ didn't matter, and that was the unfortunate truth that she'd long avoided confronting.

“Sometimes I feel like there's nothing left,” Anna said after a time, watching the shadows grow in the valley beneath them.

“What do you mean?”

“Like I’ve… I’ve done everything I’m meant to do.” A breath shuddered out of her. “And now I’m just a waste of space.”

Falon’Din was quiet a few moments before he said, “I do not think I need to tell you the absurdity of such a statement.” His voice was low and cool.

_Easy for him to say._ Falon’Din had everything. He had a soulmate who loved him and treated him well, he had power, and he had a purpose. He didn’t understand what Anna was going through, and he probably never would. She was so very alone.

“We aren’t meant for anything,” Falon’Din said, interrupting her thoughts, his voice gentler. “Believing that will only lead to disappointment… or worse, disaster. Trust me, Suledin. I speak from experience.”

There was silence between them for a long while. The two stood there until the sun dipped below the horizon, and the elf’s eyes began to shimmer in the fading light.

“Let’s return to the house,” he said.

* * *

It seemed like neither of them were ready to turn in for the day. They lingered awkwardly in the hall between their rooms, Falon’Din mumbling about how dull this estate was. Anna stood there listening, drawing out the moment as long as she could.

She didn’t want to return to her room and be alone. Anna knew she’d only cry herself to sleep again if she did. And Falon’Din was being so kind to her lately, which she lapped up like a famished beggar. Anna knew how pathetic she was. He wasn’t her nas’falon. He wasn’t even her _friend_ , not really. Falon’Din thought terribly of her—he told her so on nearly a daily basis. There was nothing about him that should make her want to be near him.

“My room has a chessboard,” she announced, rather abruptly. “It looks like it was carved to be little Dracolisks or something.”

“How vulgar,” he said, but smiled.

“Would you like to play?”

His eyes widened a bit, although she couldn’t imagine it’d be all that surprising. Unless he truly did despise her, and the thought of Anna wanting to spend more time with him was shocking. It might be that.

“Yes,” he replied, voice low, a slight pink dusting his cheeks. “Shall I bring wine?”

“If you still have some.”

They didn’t play right away. Falon’Din seemed more interested in snooping around her room than the game. He nearly spilled his glass on _The Altus and the Liberati_ as he gawked at it. “This magister has no taste,” he spat. “In literature nor decor.”

“Stop grumbling over there and play with me, Falon.”

He rolled his eyes and came over. 

* * *

For being thousands of years old, Falon’Din really sucked at chess. Although maybe he was just bored and didn't care. Or maybe the nearly empty bottle of wine they'd been drinking had clouded his strategy. 

Whatever the case was, she was going to win. 

“Why don't we make this game more interesting?” Anna smiled and rubbed her hands together, attempting to match Falon’Din’s usual supervillain style. He was quite good at looking evil.

He’d been lounging against his chair, examining a painting on the wall, when he looked back at her with mild interest flickering in his eyes. He’d taken down his hair now, and his dark locks laid loose around his shoulders, which seemed to emphasize his paleness.

Anna thought for a moment of what the perfect challenge could be. Something daring enough to be entertaining, but not dangerous enough to cause any real harm.

“Whoever loses has to jump into that giant fountain outside,” she declared, satisfied with the level of difficulty. She had passed that fountain every day since they’d arrived, and Anna had been impressed by the sheer size of it. You could practically swim laps in there, or at the very least have a nice bath. 

The elf shrugged, and that was enough agreement for her.

Months ago, if someone had told Anna that she’d be sitting here quietly playing chess with Falon’Din, she would have told them they were quite disturbed. The two had always argued or fought in some form or another, even from their very first meeting. But now, acting like civilized immortals? What a concept, indeed.

Falon’Din moved his piece and grinned in the way a serial killer might, hungry and unnecessarily terrifying. The kind of grin that looked like he murdered for fun (which, she supposed, he did).

“Why do you have to look like that?” she asked.

He frowned and rolled his eyes. “Like _what_?”

“Like you're trying to scare me.”

He smiled again, although not as creepily as before. It was a smaller smile, quiet and pleasantly amused. “Have I succeeded?"

Anna rolled her eyes and moved a chess piece forward. She was aching to let out another retort, but she held her tongue. He was only baiting her.

“Your turn,” she said instead, placing her piece on the board. She lifted her wine glass from the table and gave it a swirl. The smile disappeared from his mouth as he surveyed the game.

Anna stared at his vampy face, half-lit by the dancing fireplace. Truthfully, he never looked actually scary, not really. Detached was a more accurate description for his usual expression, and she was glad to see his playful side emerging. She found herself enjoying his teasing attention. If _he_ could find interest in Anna again, then perhaps another elf might also... Maybe she wasn't so hopeless after all. Falon'Din used to act like this more, when the Evanuris had initially awoken, and he had seemed intent on messing with her every waking moment. Anna had been so irritated by him back then that she’d just ignored Falon’Din until he eventually lost interest.

And now he was sitting across from her, playing a game at her behest. His brow had the smallest furrow, his next move brewing in his angry brain. He reached for his bishop, stretching a long-fingered hand to the carved wooden piece.

Falon’Din had nice hands. Anna admired how delicate they looked, even if they had murdered countless people… She should probably stop thinking about that.

He placed his piece on the board and leaned away from it. She examined the change in the game, and saw the knight he had moved to take her bishop, thoughtlessly leaving his king wide and open. _Fool!_

Needless to say, Anna won. “Checkmate, Falon’Din!” she cackled triumphantly as her queen (unnecessarily) whacked his king off the board. She then pointed said-queen at his chest. “ _You_ have to jump into that fountain now.”

Falon’Din was clearly upset from the lost. He fumed at her, glaring long and intensely at his conqueror. He opened his mouth, an obvious refusal about to depart.

Anna jabbed the queen into his chest. “You know you would have me do it if _I_ lost!” Anna smiled. “And I know the only reason you agreed to this was because you thought I would lose.”

His mouth closed into a frown, and he continued to glare for a few moments before exhaling and rising from his chair in defeat.

_Yes!_

If only she had a camera. This was about to be the most entertaining spectacle she had witnessed in a long time. Perhaps if she remembered it clearly enough, she could get some spirits to reenact it for her in the Fade. Anna practically danced as she followed him out into the moonlit courtyard, giddy with excitement. They headed towards the gigantic fountain, which had little cherub-looking statues spitting water out of their mouths in every direction. The massive thing could probably bathe at least twenty people. 

Reaching the edge of the fountain, he turned back to her.

“What value is there in this? You have already won, and I acknowledge my defeat. Surely you need nothing more,” Falon’Din reasoned, brow furrowed. It was a pathetic attempt at a plea, really. He wasn’t even on his knees.

“It’s a pretty warm night. I’m sure you won’t be too cold,” Anna said with a smile, completely ignoring his appeal. “Now, in you go!”

Falon closed his eyes and exhaled slowly through his nose, nearly twitching with his anger.

Anna was smiling from ear to ear. She couldn’t help it. Somehow, she had managed to get the God of the Dead to do some ridiculous dare. This was a momentous occasion.

After a few more moments, Falon’Din spread his arms outwards in the most dramatic gesture she had seen yet from the vampire.

Still standing there, he opened his eyes, and Anna noticed the smallest quirk in his mouth before he fell backwards into the water. It was as if he was playing the trust fall game with one of the cherub statues, but no one would be there to catch him.

She thought it was an odd way to dip into the fountain, since it wasn't very deep and he could have very well hit his head on the tile, but her amusement from his compliance overshadowed any concern. 

“I _can’t_ believe you did it!” Anna laughed and clapped her hands. She continued to giggle until she noticed his shimmering form wasn’t rising back up from the water, and had actually gone quite still… In fact, he’d been under there much too long, hadn’t he?

“Oh shit!”

Panic flashed through her as she jumped into the water. It was surprisingly deep for a fountain, and the water went well past her knees. Dirthamen would definitely kill her if she was somehow responsible for Falon’Din’s death. She couldn’t let him die here, in a fucking fountain, which would honestly be one of the most unexciting and stupid deaths she’d ever heard of. She couldn’t let _anyone_ die because of her, especially not Falon’Din, one of the few Evanuris who would actually speak to her and act like she existed and—

“Falon!” she yelled, standing over his distorted form in the water. Anna reached down for him, before a hand jutted out of the water and pulled her towards it.

Suddenly, Anna fell on top of him, choking on water and gasping, as he rose from the water and gave her the most maniacal grin she had ever had the displeasure of seeing.

“You _ass_ ,” she coughed. Anna sat on her knees, now straddling him, with the water coming up to their chests.

Falon didn’t say anything, only grinned wider as a little laugh escaped him.

“I was really worried, you know!” Anna poked him hard in the chest.

“Did you truly think I had drowned in such a short span of time?” he smirked, leaning back on his hands to support himself on the fountain floor.

Anna rolled her eyes. “It’s not nice to mess with people like that,” she said, crossing her arms.

He raised a brow. “And is it nice to make them jump into fountains, unwillingly?”

“Maybe not... but I definitely didn’t deserve that.”

His head tilted in consideration of her, and his gaze soon lost that playful hint as he regarded her, eyes wandering down her face.

Anna only realized then that she was still sitting on top of him. She could feel how warm he was, even in the chill of the night that was relentless against her now-wet skin. 

Falon’Din leaned a little closer, and one of his hands went to her waist. Her breath caught as she met his gaze again to find an unusual intensity present—

“Who is out here?!” an angry voice yelled.

They both jumped, and Anna’s gaze shot towards a distant corner of the courtyard, where a disgruntled estate keeper approached their direction, although whether or not he saw them yet was unclear.

But Falon’Din was quick with his reaction, and soon she felt a rush of wind and nauseous tugging at her stomach, and they were back in her room, wet and sopping and tangled together on its fancy Tevinter rug.

Anna blinked at him a few moments as she registered the sudden step through the Veil. 

And then Falon’Din laughed. A warm, unfamiliar sound filling the empty room. “You are ridiculous,” he said, chuckling as he rolled onto his back.

She rolled to her side to glower at him. “ _I’m_ the ridiculous one? You’re the one who just tried to prank me.”

“Tried?” he said, looking far too pleased with himself. “I thought it pretty successful.”

She rolled her eyes. “Barely.”

“It only took a breath for you to jump in after me.” He smirked at her, clearly satisfied. “Such worry over me.”

Anna felt her face getting warm. “Y-yeah right! I just didn’t want Dirthamen trying to kill me for letting you die.” 

A corner of his mouth twisted upwards, and he reached for her arm, feeling the fabric of her sleeve with two fingers. 

“You're soaking,” he mused, that soft smile still present on his lips. 

“And whose fault is that?”

He chuckled, tugging a little on the clothing. “Essentially, yours.” His gaze rose to meet hers and her heart quickened stupidly. Unnecessarily. 

His eyes were… surprisingly soft, a tender spark luring her in. She never saw him look like this, so genuine and warm and, well, pleasant. For once. It brought her attention to his features in ways she’d been oblivious towards in the past, or perhaps simply just ignored. Like how angled his cheekbones were. How his face was so… triangular, really. His cheekbones, his brow, his nose. Sharp, yet soft at the same time. Curving at the edges.

“What would you have done?” he asked, voice just as soft as his edges, still thumbing the fabric of her sleeve. “If I had perished?”

“Rejoiced, of course,” she smiled, “for finally vanquishing the greatest evil Thedas has ever known.”

He smiled even wider, and pulled her a little closer by the sleeve. 

This didn't feel like Falon’Din at all, and then Anna realized she was looking at one of those rare glimpses of his other side, the side she'd only ever seen in the Fade, unguarded and open. 

“Athim,” she breathed. That was who she was seeing. Not some pompous wannabe god, obsessed with his own self-image and infamy. But just a regular elf who was playful and silly, and actually cared about others and had feelings. 

He froze at the name. 

“How did you…?”

“Solas told me.”

Falon’Din blinked at her. “No one has called me by that name since...” he trailed off, looking at some distant point.

He was quiet for so long that Anna realized she might have upset him in some way, that perhaps there was a reason he never used the name. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“No,” he said, cutting her off and looking back at her again, “it is fine.” A small smile formed on his lips. “I like it.”

Anna swallowed, heat rushing to her face. “It’s late,” she muttered. “And we should probably change into some dry clothes before we get sick or something.”

Falon’Din lifted a brow, a wicked smile overtaking his expression. “Do you need some assistance?”

She rolled her eyes. “Falon’Din, I am _perfectly_ able to change my own clothes, thank you very much.”

But he was already pulling at the hem of her shirt.

“Stop, Falon! I said—”

A glow of light erupted from his hand. The spell was instantaneous, warming her entire body and drying out the fibers of her clothing.

“Relax, Suledin,” he laughed, withdrawing his hand. “Are you so afraid of me?”

“I didn’t know you’d use magic,” she countered, although it came out quieter and with much less bite than she wanted. “And I’m not afraid of you.”

His eyes locked on hers and he smiled. “Then prove it,” he challenged. He leaned closer, eyes dancing with amusement.

Anna's heart sped up as her eyes ran over him, still lying on the ground beside her, propped up on an elbow, his hair wet and dripping onto the carpet, probably ruining it forever. His shirt was wet too, and clung to the panes of his muscles in a distracting way. A strange desire pulsed through her, one that she hoped wasn’t real.

_No_. This was Falon’Din. He wasn’t her nas’falon. She should hate him, hate him the way that Solas did. _Solas_.

Falon’Din reached for her fingers then, his thumb gliding over her knuckles. “How does this feel?” he murmured. “Still afraid?”

“Terrified,” she breathed.

He leaned forward until their noses were practically touching. She caught a whiff of his scent, and it was something so entirely _different_ from Solas that she withdrew herself back. 

“I'm tired,” she sputtered, a little too rushed and perhaps even rude, but it wasn't like she cared what the vampire thought anyway, right? 

Right? 

Falon'Din frowned but didn't protest. He simply stood, bid her goodnight in Elvhen and left. 

And she tried her hardest not to feel disappointed. 


	6. Chapter 6

“The master has returned,” Severina declared. “There is a welcoming party for him tomorrow. It will be Orlesian-themed.”

Anna heard Falon’Din scoff behind her.

“Do you mean like a masquerade?” Anna asked.

Severina’s eyes drifted towards the ceiling. “Yes…” she answered, somewhat aloof (for Severina, at least).

“I don’t have a mask to wear,” Anna said.

“We can provide you with the proper outfitting,” the elf assured her. “It shall be sent to your quarters this evening.”

“Can we meet the Magister beforehand?” Anna asked. They had been here long enough, and she didn’t see much point in delaying it any further for some stupid party. Didn’t the Magister _request_ for them to come in the first place? 

“He is unavailable until then,” Severina replied.  
  
“Okay… I guess we’ll see him at the party.”  
  
The elf was already turning to leave before she finished the sentence. No one ever seemed to give her a straight answer here. Anna was really starting to hate this place.

* * *

“I’ve heard some things,” Jaren told her. He had come to her room that afternoon. “Things the servants say.”

“About the Magister?”

He nodded. “It seems like Magister Tyrus has had a lot of meetings recently—more than he usually does.”

“What do you think that means?” she asked, brow furrowing.

“He could be playing both sides.”

“Both sides?” Anna had never thought about there being an _other_ side. “You mean like... slavers?”

Jaren nodded slowly. “Yes…”

“It would explain all the slaves he keeps here…” she said, looking quickly around, as if some might be listening. There were reports of slavers recapturing freed elves… But she couldn’t see how the Magister would consider both freeing the elves and also working with slavers at the same time. They were such fundamentally opposite views. “We need to be extra convincing then, if he can be swayed to our side,” she suggested. “And if he can’t… we’ll report back and let them know what we’ve discovered.”

“Right,” Jaren said, sounding tired.

“Hey,” she said, remembering. “Are you going to the party tomorrow?”

“The servants told me about it, but...”

“You’re not going?”

“I don’t feel very welcome here, Suledin.” His eyes darted around the room, and he lowered his voice. “These elves are so strange… Everything is strange here. It’s like they’re excited for the Magister to return, even though he’s their captor.”

Anna pursed her lips. “Maybe he just treats them really well?” she suggested hopefully.

“But they’re still _slaves_ ,” he said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t seem like Magister Tyrus would be willing to part with them if he’s got them so eager to serve.”

“Well, don’t we need as many magisters as possible on our side to end slavery in the Imperium? If we get his confidence, all elves would be free here anyway.”

“Do you honestly think slavery would end that easily?” he said, almost like a sneer.

“No, of course not,” she said, voice defensive, “but it won’t ever end unless we do something about it.”

“True,” Jaren sighed, then stood to leave. “I should get going. I only wished to tell you what I heard, and warn you.”

“Well, thanks.”

“Good luck, Suledin.”

Although this mission was turning out nothing like her expectations, it did remind her of her time with the Inquisition. Building strategies, discussing tactics... She thought of the Inner Circle, working together to defeat their common enemy. It’d been so long since she’d seen those old friends. She hadn’t visited any of them after the eluvian network had gone down, as there was no other convenient way of traveling to Skyhold.

Though if she were to be perfectly honest, Anna had visited less and less frequently even before that. The Inquisition had started to drift back to their regular lives, with many people leaving to return home. It stopped feeling like the place she knew, and once it was no longer easy to travel there, Anna had given up entirely.

Just like most things in her life, apparently.

* * *

The next day, when she exited her room to head to the masquerade, Falon’Din was already standing there waiting for her. His eyes widened when he saw her, and he started smiling immediately.

He tried to cover his mouth at first, as if that would hide the grin, but of course she noticed. Anna could tell from the crinkle of his eyes, and the way his cheekbone lifted to meet them. Even that hoist of his brow.

“What?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest. She was attempting to forget what had happened between them the previous night, but him smiling at her wasn't making it any easier.

“Where did your attire come from?” he asked.

Anna wove her arms even tighter to herself. The gown wasn’t something she’d normally choose, although it was pretty. A long, white dress that bared her shoulders and back, and was high at the neck. She felt a bit exposed. “The servants left it hanging in my wardrobe.” Anna sighed. “Please don’t say I look like a nug.”

Falon’Din shook his head, and she thought she saw the tiniest hint of pink in his cheeks. “You look entirely… human,” he said quietly.

“Why does that sound worse when coming from you?” she said.

“It’s like you shed your long ears and tail.”

Anna exhaled. “Please stop talking.”

“You look lovely, Anna,” Falon’Din said. He removed his hand from his mouth then, revealing the most disarming smile that stunned her from speaking. His whole face lit up with it. His eyes, his cheeks, and were those dimples? No way could the God of the Dead have dimples.

He held his arm out for her to take, but she could only stare at it.

“What?” he pouted. “Are you too pretty to walk beside me now?”

Her mouth gaped open like a fish. “Who _are_ you? Are you an abomination? Has some other spirit taken control of your body? Because that’s the only explanation I can think of that would warrant this very un-Falon’Din-like behavior.”

“Have you contemplated my behavior that much, little nug?” he smirked.

“No,” she snapped, feeling her face grow warm, “I’m just shocked to see you being nice.”

“I am _always_ nice.”

“You’re never nice.”

He smiled, holding out his arm for her again. “You don’t like nice.”

She quirked a brow, and tentatively snaked her arm through his.

“You like Fen’Harel.” Falon’Din leaned towards her, still smiling. “He is not nice.”

Anna had to look away at that. She didn’t even want to think about what he meant. But she did anyway. Was he implying that she liked how Solas just ignored her all the time? Or that Solas was actually a terrible person who was cruel to everyone? Or that Falon’Din acted mean to her because (for some unknown, twisted reason), he thought she liked it? (Maybe she did a little… as pathetic and desperate for attention as she was.)

“Are you just making fun of me?” she mumbled.

“Of course not,” he answered, frowning. “You truly do look lovely, and will probably be the loveliest thing at this wretched party.” One of the corners of his mouth lifted. “Although perhaps you have bewitched me, nug, and I am simply under your blunderous command.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Why aren’t you wearing a mask?” she asked, scratching at the one on her own face. It was gold, which matched the beading on her white gown. She'd only now realized he didn't have one.

“I was informed I could collect another at the party.” He shook his head in disgust. “The mask left for me was unacceptable.”

Anna snorted. “You’re such a party pooper, Falon. It’s an Orlesian-themed party. Who cares what the mask looks like?”

“I am insulted that you’d even assume I would not care.”

“I think you’re insulted about the wrong thing,” Anna muttered. She looked over at Falon’Din, whose hair was tied back again. It was actually quite elaborate, with several braids woven into a low bun at his nape. “Who did your hair?”

“I did,” he said, affronted. “You think I would trust these people with it?”

Before she could tell him just how idiotic he sounded, they arrived at the entrance of the ballroom.

“Welcome!” a rather cheery elf exclaimed. She eyed Falon’Din disapprovingly. “Do you need a mask?” she asked.

“What do you think?” Falon’Din sneered. “Why else wouldn’t I be wearing one? The mask given to me was absolutely horrid.”

The elf nearly yelped as she scuttled off to find him another mask.

“I suppose I should follow her,” he said, watching her hurry down the hall.

Anna hit him on the arm. “What was that for?” She shoved him on the back in the direction of the servant. “Go get a mask and be nice to her, ass.”

He glanced back at her with a smirk and followed the servant.

Now alone, Anna took a deep breath and smoothed the fabric of her dress. It was quite a silky material that was probably more revealing than she would have preferred, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. Anna opened up the door to the grand ballroom that she had seen on her tour of the estate days earlier. She had no idea what to expect from an Orlesian-themed Tevinter party, but it certainly wasn’t _this_.

The room was stunning, and almost seemed reminiscent of Elvhen gatherings that Solas used to show her. There were flowers everywhere, sprouting in every corner, hanging in garlands from the tall ceiling. How could they even reach that high? Three fountains stood in the center of the room, shooting tall arcs of sparkling wine into the air. Anna observed attendees refilling their glasses quite gratuitously at these fountains, and a six-piece band played soft, yet upbeat music in the corner. The party was mostly elves, she noticed, which made it easier to pick out who the Magister might be.

Her stomach was doing all sorts of backflips as she stood near the door awkwardly. No one seemed interested in greeting her, too caught up in their own conversation—or more often another person’s pants. In fact, many of them seemed to be using the masks as an excuse to be absolutely debaucherous. Why did Falon’Din have to leave her alone here? 

Anna took a deep breath. She wasn't a child. She shouldn't be nervous to attend a party, to speak to some Magister she didn't know. Solas chose _her_ for this mission—that had to mean something. Straightening her shoulders, Anna wandered the room until she was certain she knew who the Magister was. 

There was a man standing near a high table, surrounded by more elves than anyone else. He had an air of snobbery about him, and his mask was the most intricate she’d seen that night. He looked older, perhaps middle-aged, and his laugh seemed to echo over the whole room. This was the Magister she had been waiting for all this time.

Anna knew she should talk to him, but decided to wait for Falon'Din instead. Perhaps she was a coward, but hadn't this Tevinter requested them both, anyway?

Falon'Din eventually strolled into the room, wearing a gold mask similar to her own, although it looked like a more detailed and expensive version. _Of course_.

“Good evening,” he said to her with an exaggerated bow. “Would you like to dance, milady?”

“No one is dancing here, Falon,” she said, annoyed.

He jerked back. “You knew it was me?”

“Of course! You think I wouldn’t recognize you?” Anna shook her head. “Who else would act so obnoxiously?”

His eyes narrowed in the holes of his mask. “Well, have you found the Magister?” he asked, changing the subject. “Or have you been completely lost in my absence, as usual?”

Anna rolled her eyes. “He’s over there,” she said, gesturing covertly towards the man.

“Shall we?” he said, smiling at her.

Anna was flooded with memories of Solas saying the same thing, sometimes even offering her his hand. She wished he were here now… even if he probably wouldn't take her hand.

Anna exhaled. What was she so anxious about? Anna had faced death countless times, and even _actually_ died once! What was so scary about talking to some rich, old guy? With all the Evanuris revived, she was a master at talking to old people now. Yet she still felt like so much hinged on this quest. Like Solas would never respect her again if she didn’t succeed. _Don't fuck this up._

“Magister Tyrus, we finally meet!” Anna said, striding towards him with a smile plastered on her face. “I am Suledin, and this is one of the Evanuris, Falon’Din.”

“ _Su-le-din_ ,” the Magister repeated slowly. His eyes raked her body, stopping at her ears. “Peculiar name for a human. I haven’t heard it before.”

“It’s elvish,” Anna explained.

Tyrus looked shocked. “You’ve taken one of _their_ names?”

“Yes,” she said. “I believe in their cause, and the Dread Wolf is my partner, so… it felt right.”

Falon’Din touched her arm then. “Careful,” he whispered in Elvhen. Anna tensed. Was she supposed to be keeping her connection to Solas a secret? _Is he just that ashamed of me?_

The Magister’s chin lifted in interest. “The Dread Wolf has a partner?”

_Barely_. “Yes,” she replied, swallowing thickly and trying her best to keep her expression neutral. “Me.”

His brows lifted. “Well, that is certainly enlightening,” the Magister said. “I assumed the Dread Wolf would only have close relations with elves… but it seems he’s quite _open_ to our kind.” He smiled, but instead of reassuring her, it only felt more uncomfortable. “It’s encouraging.”

“I’m glad,” she said.

“And you,” Tyrus said, turning to Falon’Din. “You are one of the Evanuris. One who has lived centuries beyond our comprehension. I imagine we have much wisdom to learn from you.”

Anna had to purse her lips and look away to keep from laughing. _Pfft_.

“I am Falon'Din,” the elf replied. “The God of Death and Fortune.”

Fortune? She had never recalled that part of his history. What little she knew of it, anyway.

Falon'Din was putting on all the noble airs he could. His nose was practically pointed directly towards the ceiling with pride. “If you seek wisdom,” he said, sounding quite sage indeed, “then let my cautionary words advise you. I know better than most how an uprising against oneself feels. To align with us is the best course for this world. The elves deserve their freedom, and grave consequences may be inevitable if we do not act soon to free them.”

Anna was pretty sure he was bluffing, but she appreciated the urgency in his suggestion. This Magister had made them wait for far too long in this stupid house.

“So you would like me on your side,” Tyrus said. “You’d like my help in forming this law to free them.”

“Yes,” Anna said, growing more aggravated at his repetitive way of speaking.

“And I could help you,” Magister Tyrus smiled. Creepily, Anna noted. (Annoyingly, too.)

“That would be wise,” Falon said.

She saw the way his eyes roved over Falon’Din, taking in every bit of the elf. “I’d like to speak with you privately, if you wouldn’t mind?” Tyrus murmured to him.

Falon’Din raised his chin. “Very well.”

Tyrus smiled. “Let us go somewhere, shall we?”

Falon'Din spared one last glance towards Anna before following the Magister away.

Anna’s face heated with anger and embarrassment all at once. Did the Magister even care about talking to _her_? Perhaps Falon’Din was right. She was lost and useless without him, and apparently Tevinter magisters could discern that at a mere glance.

Anna turned in a huff and went straight to a table decorated with refreshments. She yanked a glass of wine off the table and downed it rapidly. And then she took another and found a quiet corner where she could wait for Falon'Din to return.

She waited. And waited. And when her feet began to ache from standing there so long, she realized the two might never come back to the party.

The Magister _had_ looked quite lecherous with how he eyed Falon’Din… They couldn’t be _fucking,_ could they?

Anna sighed as she made her way back to her room, dejection slowly taking her over. She felt so overwhelmingly pointless. Like she had nothing to offer this mission, nothing to offer this world… and nothing to offer Solas.

How typical.


	7. Chapter 7

“I must leave for a time, vhenan,” Solas had told her, three years ago.

Anna pouted. “You have to?”

He smiled and pushed some hair behind her ear. “A few weeks, at the most.”

“Can I come with you?”

“The operation needs to go smoothly; it needs to be small.”

Anna sighed. He had only started using that word recently. _Operation_. Everything was calculated these days. Sometimes it felt like even their time together was calculated. Like he planned out which hours were Anna Time.

“Where are you going?” she asked, turning away from him.

“Orlais.”

“Why?”

He had been idly tracing the skin of her back, but paused when she asked.

“There have been rumors of Qunari invading our eluvian network.”

“Invading?” Anna furrowed her brow and looked back at him. “Will you be okay?”

He smiled, but it didn’t touch his eyes. “Always, vhenan.”

* * *

“Suledin!” It was Jaren, shaking her awake. “We must leave immediately.”

“Wha— _Jaren_?" She mumbled, mind still muddled with sleep and probably too much alcohol. "What are you doing in my room?”

“Get up,” he whispered, tugging at her covers. “There are invaders.”

“ _What?”_

“ _Move_ , Suledin.”

She threw on whatever clothes she could, not caring if he watched. (He wasn’t. His ear was pressed to the door as he kept guard.) A few moments later, Anna was ready—Ghilan’nain’s quiver and bow on her back—and they snuck their way through the house. Jaren had already devised a plan of escape, and that was the main priority. When Anna suggested looking to rescue Severina and the servants, Jaren rejected the idea immediately.

“Most of them have already escaped,” he explained. “That’s how I was alerted of the intruders in the first place.”

“Where’s Falon’Din?”

Jaren shook his head. “I couldn’t find him.”

Dread exploded in her stomach. Had something happened with the Magister? Was Falon'Din _dead_? It seemed impossible to kill him, or any of the Evanuris. They were all ten thousand years old, for fuck’s sake! He must have some sort of backup soul if he ever did die, anyway, like Mythal had. _He can’t be dead. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t._

“Hurry!” Jaren whisper-yelled.

They tiptoed through the mansion as hastily as they could manage. Jaren knew the layout of this place much better than Anna, and they moved through rooms she hadn’t even been to before. It made her wonder if her quarters had been strategically placed to trap her in the house—on the second floor, in a central room nowhere near the exits. Jaren led them through some kitchens, then a dining room that was far smaller than the one she had been eating in. And finally, a library, where Anna crashed into Jaren as he suddenly halted the moment he was through the door.

“Why’re we stopping?” Anna asked, until she saw a figure at the other end of the room. A familiar one. The man laughed and took a step forward, angling his staff towards the two.

“Why, if it isn't our little betrayer Anna?” Dorian Pavus said before shooting a wave of ice into her chest.

* * *

“You really must learn to use a staff, vhenan,” Solas had said to Anna years ago.

“But why? The magic seems to come out just fine.” Anna cast a ball of fire in her hand, holding the blue flame up for his inspection.

He smiled. “You have never fought in a battle,” Solas explained. “It is… different. The power and speed needed by oneself is never sufficient enough. A staff can help with channeling that power, that focus.”

“All right, all right, I get it,” Anna smiled, tugging the elf closer for a kiss. “I’ll practice with a staff,” she promised.

She did, for a while. But it never felt as satisfying as blasting magic straight through her palms. So she practiced less and less, and when Solas stopped asking about it, she stopped practicing altogether.

* * *

The wind knocked out of her before she could even comprehend her old friend. Or at least, who she _thought_ was her friend. The magic currently freezing her insides said otherwise.

Jaren was already moving on the offense. He threw a dagger at the mage, forcing Dorian to duck under a table. Jaren pulled Anna behind a bookcase.

“Are you all right?” he asked, helping her down to the floor since she couldn't seem to stand. “I counted two men out there.”

Anna could barely breathe, let alone move. She couldn’t feel anything except sharp pain, each of her limbs numb. Even her sight seemed blurred at the edges.

It was painful. All of it. The inappropriate name-calling, the fact that Dorian— _Dorian_ , her first friend ever in this stupid realm—would attack her, and the ice curdling her blood. _That_ one probably hurt the most.

She could even be dying. Although it wouldn't be terrible if she did. Perhaps she would wake up in her world again, comatose and mourned after. Or maybe this was a long, overgaming-induced dream, and no time had passed at all. _It could happen._

Before Anna could truly fathom the concept of _that_ theory, she heard Dorian shout, “Magister Tyrus will never join your side!”

“Shit,” Jaren said, releasing her. “I don’t have any potions, and I have to fight.” He looked over the bookcase, where a bright light shot past. “I’ll return soon.”

He got up and left. Anna might have passed out for a little after that—she wasn’t actually sure—but eventually she could feel her fingers again and her vision cleared. She stood up, just in time to be face-to-face with the other Tevinter intruder. Anna conjured a barrier as a lightning bolt tried to strike her. The mage swung his staff around for another attack, but was knocked down suddenly by a flash of green light. He fell to the floor, paralyzed.

“Do you require my assistance?”

Anna felt relief at hearing his voice as she looked towards the source of the spell. Falon’Din smiled at her, standing above the quivering fallen body. It was a little scary how good at magic he was without a staff, but she was glad to see him nonetheless. Alive and everything.

Anna was about to reply to his question, but Falon’Din had to duck from another ball of ice. Falon’Din charged towards the attack, and Anna fell back behind the bookcase again. She peered over the edge of the shelf to see Dorian as the only fighter against them remaining.

Falon’Din was on Dorian before he could cast another spell. The elf forced him back with some old Elvhen, probably-explained-it-to-her-once-but-she-didn’t-remember spell, and Anna had to dive again from an errant lightning bolt.

Another round of spells went flying through the room, with Dorian switching to fire, and Falon’Din twisting the Veil to his liking. That elf was much quicker than Anna ever gave him credit for. He rolled around the room and dodged spells effortlessly, looking almost… _happy._ It was weird.

Falon’Din ducked as a firebolt shot from Dorian’s staff, but the blast barreled right toward Jaren instead. Hitting him straight in the head. Jaren screamed, clutching his head and fruitlessly attempting to pat the magical fire from burning him alive. Anna panicked.

She conjured a water spell that Solas had taught her once, but it was already too late. Jaren fell limp to the ground before she could even aim it. _No_ , Anna thought, staring at his stilled body.

_Dorian killed Jaren._

“You foolish quicklings,” Falon’Din was shouting in Elvhen. He had taken the fallen mage’s staff and was shooting spell after spell at Dorian, who was now bloodied and barely able to dodge. “You believe you know everything.” He conjured an ice bolt. “But you’ve ruined so much of this world.”

Watching Dorian stumbling, it suddenly felt all too real. Why was Dorian fighting them? What was even _happening_ right now?

Dorian scrambled backward on the floor, eyes wide and searching for any possible exits.

Falon’Din lifted the staff into the air, ready to strike his final blow. “You—”

“Athim!” Anna shouted. “Don’t kill him!”

Falon’Din’s eyes shot back towards her, and he clonked Dorian on the head with his staff. “Fine,” Falon’Din said.

Anna came to his side, standing over the knocked-out Dorian. “Jaren’s dead,” she cried.

Falon’Din hissed a curse, looking down at Dorian. He glanced back at Anna. “Are you injured?” he asked.

“Somewhat,” she said. “I have some bad bruising, but…” Her eyes wouldn't leave Jaren’s body on the ground. Dorian was her _friend_. He wouldn't murder someone like this! Not unless—

“Anna, we should leave.” Falon’Din grabbed her hand with his.

“I know, but—”

“ _Anna_.”

“I have to know why he’s here!”

“ _Who_?”

Anna pointed to Dorian on the floor.

Falon’Din rolled his eyes. “It’s obvious they were called here by the Magister, sent to assassinate us. Tyrus told me as much last night when he captured me.” He squeezed her hand. “We must leave before more arrive.”

“ _Captured_? Is that what—” Anna started, but froze when she saw Dorian stirring on the ground.

Dorian opened his eyes and groaned, blinking his eyes. Falon’Din swung his staff so the end of it was jammed against Dorian’s throat. “Move a muscle and perish,” Falon’Din cautioned.

“I knew you would have joined him,” Dorian spat, eyeing Anna from the floor. His head was bloodied, pooling underneath him and staining the carpet.

“What are you _talking_ about?” Anna exclaimed. “Who have _you_ joined?”

“The Inquisitor!" Dorian cried. "The side of justice! The right side!”

Anna shook her head. “We’re on the _same_ side.”

Dorian rasped out a cackle. “The same? However did you come to that conclusion?” He tried to sit up, but Falon’Din forced him down again. “You are just as awful as Corypheus!”

_Corypheus?_ “I don’t understand…” Anna said. 

“We will not stand for the destruction of the world!” Dorian shouted passionately, spitting with every word. “And we shall stop you and Solas if it’s the last thing we do!”

Anna shook her head again. “Stop us? But we’re… We’re just saving the elves! We’re building a home for them!”

“And destroying the world in the process!” Dorian retorted.

Anna wasn't processing any of this. “What are you _talking_ about?!”

“Suledin...” Falon’Din said, looking at her.

“Do you not know?” Dorian’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Or are you really so ignorant that you don’t realize the consequences your actions will cause?”

“What actions?!” Anna demanded, stepping closer. “Freeing elves? Giving them a safe haven?”

“The Veil!” Dorian shouted. “Taking down the Veil!”

Anna didn’t know what to say. The Veil? She knew nothing about that… She’d never even heard it mentioned. Anna looked at Falon’Din.

“Do you know what he’s talking about?” she asked him in Elvhen, to keep from Dorian’s prying ears.

Falon’Din pursed his lips.

“Athim?”

“I wished to tell you,” he replied quietly in the same language. “He made us swear to keep it from you…”

Anna stumbled back. She felt like the floor had fallen out from her. Like her stomach had dropped, and her chest throbbed with a long-ignored pain. Solas had lied to her. Had been lying to her. And everyone else _knew_. Everyone but her.

“Maker,” Dorian said from the floor. “You _didn’t_ know?”

Anna just started to hyperventilate.

“Had you no idea that the Inquisition has been fighting him for the last three years?” he asked.

Anna covered her face with her hands, attempting to hide the emerging tears. “No,” she mumbled. She couldn't grasp any of this. Her mind flooded with memories and thoughts, anything that might have given her a clue, but the more she tried to make sense of it, the more confused she felt. And then she really couldn't think at all.

“Join us, Anna!” Dorian said. “Help us stop him!”

Falon’Din shoved the staff into his chest. “Silence!"

“You are a monster!” Dorian barked.

Falon’Din pressed the staff even further. “You speak to a god, shemlen!” he said, practically baring his teeth. “Watch what you say.”

“So it is true,” Dorian whispered. “He’s awoken them…”

“He’s not really a god,” Anna said softly, barely able to feel anything anymore. “He just says that.”

“Anna,” Dorian coughed. “Leave these monsters and join the Inquisition again.”

There were some loud noises behind them.

“We must leave, Suledin,” Falon’Din warned.

And with one final look at her old friend on the floor, she ran out the door.

* * *

It was only a few more doors until they were outside. Luckily, they were able to find the main road rather quickly since they had spent so much time traversing the grounds. The two hurried through a nearby forest, not stopping until the sun was rising again.

“So Solas wants to take down the Veil…”

“Yes,” Falon’Din replied. “It was why he freed us… To tear down the Veil that he created.”

She froze. “What do you mean… _he_ created it?”

His brow furrowed. “You didn’t know?”

“B-but how can you _create_ a Veil?” she stuttered. Solas couldn’t possibly be that powerful...

Falon’Din looked at her. “The same way you can destroy it, allegedly.”

“But—” Anna said, “but won’t this ruin the world? Won’t all the spirits become demons and kill everyone?”

Falon’Din grimaced. “Most likely, yes.”

“This doesn’t make sense!” Anna shook her head again. “Isn’t this exactly what Corypheus was doing?”

Falon’Din’s mouth became a thin line. “It is… more complex than that,” he explained. “With all the Evanuris combined, we can thin the Veil more gradually… and hopefully save more spirits.”

“And everyone but me knows this plan?”

He nodded.

She sobbed. Everyone had been lying to her. And Jaren was dead. And she had been completely useless, as usual, to help him.

“Anna,” he said quietly, taking both of her hands into his. “I did not want to keep it from you.” His hands tightened. “But we all swore…”

“But _why_? Why did he make you keep it a secret?”

He exhaled. “I think that is better heard from Fen’Harel.”

She shut her eyes. _That stupid, fucking asshole._ “I don’t want to talk to him.”

He squeezed her hands again before letting them go. “Then you must be patient for the answer.”


	8. Chapter 8

Not everything Solas did added up. In fact, _most_ things Solas did these days didn’t add up. To Anna, at least. The Evanuris seemed right on board with everything, though.

She had thought she understood their organization. They were rebuilding Elvhenan across the sea, and it was going to be a haven for elves. One where they could be safe and grow and have an actual home.

Anna knew they needed to free as many elves as possible to unite them and bring them home. She knew their organization had countless missions like the one she'd been on for this very purpose. They were _saving_ the elves.

All these things she was on board with.

But this… _this_. This was the first time she had heard mention of the Veil. She couldn’t believe it to be true. Solas would never endanger that many lives... _He wouldn’t_.

Perhaps she really didn’t know him at all anymore.

* * *

Eventually, Falon’Din and Anna found their way to an inn. It was a rundown sort of place—the kind that hosted seedy travelers and the most shifty of eyes—but it was the only accommodation they could find in the middle of nowhere, so the two booked a room.

“Only one room?” Anna asked.

Falon’Din crossed his arms. “We are lucky to have a room at all with the few coin I happened to be carrying during our escape.”

Anna sighed, remembering how Jaren had most of their funds. And then she remembered that he was dead. “Sorry,” she muttered. “You’re right.”

Their room was tiny, but at least it was clean (sort of). And there was only one bed. Anna internally groaned. This was _not_ the trope she wanted to deal with tonight. She felt exhausted and achy and ready to cry at any moment.

_Jaren is dead_. He died trying to save them. He died because of this mission, because of _Solas_. Anna thought of the other elves in his clan. How they’d be waiting for news of him, and she’d have to tell them that he was dead. And they couldn’t even give him a proper burial.

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Anna whispered.

Falon’Din touched her arm. “I know you two were close.”

A sob escaped her. “We weren’t even that close! He died protecting someone he barely even _liked_.” And then she broke down. Anna fell to her knees, her head in her hands, loud cries shuddering through her.

“He knew the risks of our mission,” Falon’Din said, kneeling beside her. She felt his hand come to her back. “Casualties are inevitable in times of war.”

_Times of war_. This was Solas’s war. His completely unnecessary war that was causing unnecessary deaths and would only make more suffer. This wasn’t Anna’s war. She would never want _this_.

This stupid, pointless bloodshed. They were already building a new haven for the elves. Why couldn’t that be enough? Why did he have to make it exactly as before?

“Anna—”

She stood on her feet and swatted his hand away. “I’m fine,” Anna said. “I’m going to sleep.”

He let her.

* * *

Although she was beyond tired, her mind kept going over and over every possible clue that would have shown how Solas had been lying to her for years. Anna couldn’t sleep, and she couldn’t even toss and turn like she wanted because she risked whopping Falon’Din on the face beside her. Instead, she remained on her side, her back to the elf, and she toiled alone, still and silent and attempting not to cry (but failing).

After what felt like hours, Falon’Din whispered to her in the dark. “Are you angry with me, Anna?”

Anna was shuddering from trying to hold in her sobs, so she couldn’t help but let out a loud, pitiful cry when he said that. Anna felt him shift closer as she did so. All the tears seemed to release from her now, like a tidal wave of emotion crashing from her chest.

She should be mad at Falon’Din. He’d been deceiving her as well, and was a part of this plan of world destruction. But when she thought about it, all she could feel was anger towards Solas. He was the root of it all, and he was the one she had trusted the most.

“I’m—not—” she whimpered, “—mad—at _you_.” Her sobs interrupted each word, but speaking seemed to help her relax a little. “I’m mad at _Solas_. _He’s_ the one who’s been lying to me. Treating me like a complete idiot! An idiot that probably everyone has just been laughing at whenever my back is turned.” She broke into sobs again.

“Anna,” Falon’Din said softly, “come here.”

She didn’t move. Only continued to cry into her pillow. Betrayal. Embarrassment. Despair. Each negative emotion seemed to pile on top of the next. 

His arms came around her, sliding across her torso and pulling Anna towards him, so that her face rested on his chest when she turned to look at him.

“I'm okay, really,” she cried. “You don’t have to do this—”

“Hush, Anna. Be still,” he whispered. He tucked her head beneath his chin and trailed his hand up and down her arm soothingly. It calmed her a little, like a warm blanket might.

“I’m so stupid,” she said into his tunic.

“You are not,” he asserted, squeezing her tighter.

“How could I not have known all this time?”

“Fen’Harel made sure that you would not discover the truth; it is not your fault.”

She was quiet a long time, listening to his heartbeat.

“Has Dirthamen ever done something like this to you?” Anna asked after a while.

His arm stilled. “There have been times he has… _deceived_ me, although nothing quite like this.”

Anna started sobbing again immediately.

_“Anna_.” He held her tighter. “It is different between us. Dirthamen and I… we were born together. Here, in Thedas.” He pulled Anna away to look her in the eye. “We’ve never known a life apart from each other. Your relationship with Fen’Harel is… new, by comparison.”

“He doesn’t trust me. _Me_ , his own nas’falon.”

“That isn’t your fault.”

“How can it not be?”

He didn’t answer. And so she cried some more.

“It is not your fault,” he whispered again.

Anna sniffled.

“You are not in the wrong.” Falon’Din kept saying more things like that until she fell asleep, still holding her tightly.

* * *

When Anna woke the next morning, she was no longer in his arms, but she felt a little better. The situation was awful. Jaren was dead. Solas had been lying to her for years. And apparently the world was going to end soon unless she did something about it. 

A sudden determination came over her. _I have to stop this._ Anna had to do everything in her power to stop him, even if it killed her. At least her life would mean something. But what could she do?

Her power was weak, her knowledge was limited, and her connections were few. Even if she were able to stop Solas, she wasn’t strong enough to go against the rest of the Evanuris… And she didn’t even know _how_ they were removing the Veil in the first place. Solas’s orb had been destroyed years ago. As far as she knew, that was the only way, which must not be the case if the Evanuris had something else planned.

She looked over at the old immortal beside her, still asleep, and wondered what he knew. He’d been lying to her just like the rest of them, and even if Falon’Din felt bad about it, it didn’t change the fact that his allegiance was with his brethren.

Anna felt some tears well up in her eyes again. She had been starting to like him. Even if he usually said snide things to her, she didn’t think he really meant it all. Anna had actually had… _fun_ with him on this mission, and had opened up to him in ways she hadn’t done in ages.

She wiped the tears away and took a deep breath. Her eyes drifted over the shapes of his profile, and her heart began to beat a little faster as she thought of the previous night.

That had been the first time in years that anyone had held her—that she’d been _intimate_ at all—and the fact that it was with Falon’Din… Well, it was _Falon’Din_! The ridiculous and catty God of the Dead. But he was one of the few Evanuris who would talk to her. One of the only people to ever talk to her, in fact—Evanuris or not.

She was too weak. Solas had made her desperate for affection, and her heart jumped at Falon’Din’s tenderness because Anna was parched for it. She was pitiful, really.

Anna shouldn’t lie to herself. She had feelings for Falon’Din. Every flutter of her heart that he drew from her of late was an obvious sign, and she knew it was cheating on Solas. Even if Solas never called her vhenan anymore, even if he hadn’t called her that for years, she was still cheating.

And Solas was her _soulmate_! He was the be-all-end-all, and she wasn’t _supposed_ to feel something for anyone else… right? And Falon’Din had Dirthamen! He shouldn’t be treating her like this, with those easy smiles and playful teasing, and holding her in his arms and telling her how good she was, how Solas had no reason not to love her. (He’d actually said that last night, after a moment of weakness when she’d confessed how she didn’t think Solas could possibly love her anymore. Falon had declared his objection as if it were the obvious truth.)

This wasn’t how the world worked, how fate worked. Solas was supposed to be the one she could depend on, for eternity. They were twin souls, and he was her partner... Although, should she really be so surprised? She had known Solas was a trickster since before she’d even met him. He was famous for his deceit. Was Anna really so vain to think she was an exception?

Perhaps it truly was her fault. She had given up on them nearly as much as he had. Anna never fought for their relationship, she simply let him lead the way. When he was too “preoccupied” to share a room with her, she moved into her own bedroom without question. When he felt too tired to be intimate, or play, or even talk, she acquiesced. Anna gave him space, because she thought that was what he needed. But really, she should have been fighting. Fighting for them.

Falon’Din stirred, and her thoughts flew back to the elf beside her. He was a funny thing, really. Always so mean to her, but one of the only people who seemed to give a damn if she was even around. And he was just so kind and funny and _pleasant_ on this journey… She felt a little helpless against her growing feelings.

The elf groaned, his eyes fluttering open. He stretched his arms above him and turned towards her. “Good morning,” he said in Elvhen.

“Morning,” Anna replied.

“Have you been awake long?”

“No, not really.” Anna swallowed. “Thank you… for last night.”

Falon’Din smiled. “Your gratitude is appreciated, but unnecessary.”

“No,” she said, getting up on an elbow and shaking her head, “it definitely is necessary. You didn’t have to do that.”

He raised a hand towards her face and pushed some hair behind her ear. “I know,” he said quietly.

“Athim.”

He got up on his own elbow and looked at her.

“You have no idea how much that meant to me.” She took a shuddering breath. "I… thank you."

His expression softened. “You are not alone, Anna.”

Anna swallowed. He still had that same sweetness from the night before... But they didn’t have time for that. The world was ending! “What are we going to do now?” she asked. “Where will we go next?”

Falon’Din frowned. “Return to the base, I thought?”

She took a deep breath and nodded.

“Did you have something else in mind?”

Anna sighed. “Not really, I guess… It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.”

Falon’Din reached over and took her hand. “It will be fine, Anna.”

Tears formed again and she shut her eyes, letting them spill over her cheeks. “It’s not _fine_ , Falon’Din,” she said, opening her eyes again. “You’re trying to destroy the world!”

He looked a little taken aback by her words. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it soon after.

“Do you really think removing the Veil is a good idea, Athim?” she asked quietly.

“It does not matter what I think… They won’t listen to me.” Falon’Din looked away from her, his gaze turning distant. “I am only to do as I am told.”

“Wait, are you... against it?”

“Of course I am!” He didn’t shout, but he didn’t exactly say it quietly either. “We have lost enough spirits to _his_ mistakes! The ones remaining cry to me nightly of the consequences… But what choice do I have?”

Anna couldn’t keep the surprise from her face. “You can choose to _stop_ them,” she said.

He shook his head.

“You’re one of the most powerful beings in Thedas, Falon!”

“I am not Fen’Harel!” he exclaimed, now more heated than ever. “What do you expect from me? To _trap_ my lethallen like he did?”

“No… I don’t know!” she said. “But do _something_.”

“There is nothing I can do,” he murmured. “Trust me, Suledin.” He got up from the bed. "You see the world in such black and white. No wonder why Fen'Harel is your mate." He still didn’t look at her when he said, “We should return to the base.”

They didn’t talk anymore about it.


	9. Chapter 9

A day or so passed until they were back at the base. She and Falon’Din had only the most basic of interactions as they traveled, ones about food or where to rest. He refused to speak more about the Veil, or his lethallen’s plans, and Anna felt relieved when she was able to Fade-Step into the base once they were a bit closer.

The first thing she did was approach her soulmate. She burst into his office without much warning.

“Solas.”

He glanced up at her from his desk, hardly surprised. “Suledin.” He wasn’t wearing any armor, but all his clothes were much fancier nowadays, which seemed to add to his aura of cold aloofness.

“You _lied_ to me.”

He didn’t say anything. Only looked at her, not a hint of emotion on his face.

“You lied to me! _Me_ , your nas’falon!”

His eyebrows drew together in what could have been something like concern.

“Why?” she asked, walking closer. “Why keep these plans from me?”

Solas leaned back in his chair and let out a slow exhale. “Because I knew you would react like this,” he replied calmly.

She scoffed at that.

Solas stood. “I knew you would not understand,” he said, his voice edging on anger.

“Oh, I understand. I understand perfectly well.”

He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly through his nose. When he opened his eyes again, he said, “I knew you would try to stop me.”

Anna stared at him, her lower lip starting to quiver. “Well, you were right,” she said. “I will.”

“In what delusional world do you live in, Anna?” he said, standing.

She crossed her arms. “The one _you_ made, apparently.”

“Did you truly think that we would ever be satisfied with merely creating a safe haven for elves? Have you not seen what has become of the People?”

“They’re fine! Well—I mean, we’re helping them, and they will be fine!” Anna shouted. “They don’t need the Veil torn away. You just need to get over it!”

“They are _dying_ , Suledin!” he said, moving so close he was practically spitting in her face. “The Veil is killing them!”

“No, they’re just living normal lifespans,” she said. “And you’re the one who’s going to kill them”—she shoved him in the chest—“with this dumbass plan!”

“You are shockingly naive,” he hissed, and then narrowing his eyes, added, “ _da’len_.” The last word felt like a punch in the gut.

“I see,” she said, feeling tears begin to prick her eyes. “I’m just too stupid to understand, am I?” Anna exhaled, shuddering a bit. “At least now I know what you really think of me.”

“ _Anna_ ,” he said, the ire melting from his eyes and his voice much softer. “You care too much—You care to the point of absurdity.” He sighed. “I know you were raised as a mortal, but you must understand. Every person you know… is fleeting. They are but shadows.”

“Fleeting doesn’t mean they don’t matter!”

“But if we righted this world, then elves could be immortal again,” he said, a bit emphatic. “They wouldn’t face death as they do now.”

“Solas, do you even hear yourself?” she said. “You’re talking about murdering thousands of people, just so that a _fraction_ of those people might _possibly_ become immortal... _eventually_!” She threw her hands up in the air. “It’s an even worse plan than Corypheus’s!”

“We are doing it—correctly!” Solas huffed, and he really was starting to look pathetic.

Anna crossed her arms, shaking her head. “Oh, my god,” she said. “You don’t even believe it yourself, do you?”

“Of _course_ I do.”

“No,” she said, stepping closer. “You don’t. And I can tell. Because guess what? I’m still you’re fucking nas’falon!”

“ _Anna._ ”

“ _Solas_.” She gripped his tunic, and he stiffened. “This plan is the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”

When she was silent for a few moments, just glaring into his eyes, he asked, “Is that all? 

“I’m leaving,” she said, dropping his tunic from her hands.

“Leaving?”

“Leaving your organization. Right now.”

“Anna—!”

“No. Shut up,” she said. “Goodbye.” He didn’t try to stop her when she left.

* * *

Anna was crying as she packed her things. _He didn’t even deny it_ , she thought miserably. _He didn’t even try to stop me_. He didn’t even care.

She had been keeping some money stored away just in case. Coin she’d won through some card games, or sometimes just found. (Theodisians tended to leave a lot of money around for no reason.) Anna gathered what supplies she could, and ran. She Stepped as far as knew she could go.

It took a couple days, but she ended up in Minrathous, which was far enough from the base and had all the resources she needed to begin her retaliation. Anna thought she should probably contact the Inquisition first and help them stop the Evanuris with the little info she knew.

Her chest ached at the thought of betraying Solas. It shouldn’t—not really—not when she’d been deceived like this, for _years_. But a part of her still hoped Solas had some sort of hidden plan, some secret motive that wasn’t actually sinister at all, and all this Veil business was just a cover for it… Solas would never risk so many people’s lives. She couldn’t believe he would.

But evidently he was. 

Anna again remembered what Falon’Din had said. The world had to change in order to bring the elves’ magic back. And the answer was to tear down the Veil, regardless of who might die in the process.

She ended up getting a room at an inn in the city. It was a nice one, with rich furnishings and wallpaper that glimmered with (unnecessary) magic. Tevinters were always enchanting everything, she noticed. They’d probably all happily agree to take down the Veil, if it meant returning to a time like Elvhenan, with floating cities and magical trees and all that shit.

Anna sighed, falling down onto the bed of her rented room. The adrenaline from running away was starting to wear off, and now she felt so entirely alone. Ghilan’nain wasn’t at the base when she left, so she didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye to her. But then again, Ghil had been one of the people who had lied to her as well.

“Don’t cry, stupid,” she told herself aloud. It wasn’t the end of the world. Yet. Anna was not completely powerless. She had actual magic now, and she _did_ have connections. The Inquisition would take her, perhaps warily, but they’d still take her. She’d tell them everything she knew, and they’d help her stop Solas.

Years ago, she probably would have just run up to Solas and hugged him, shouting something sappy like, “Just love me and snap out of it!” or another similar sentiment. But she wasn’t that person anymore. This organization, this life, her soulmate—had driven that innocent passion out of her.

If she wanted to stop him, Anna had to be just as cold and calculating as Solas was.

* * *

She spent the next few days putting together what little info she had. She didn’t want to go to the Inquisition empty-handed, in case they jumped to torturing her or something. But her intel really wasn’t much. Anna didn’t even know how they were planning on taking down the Veil. Had they forged another orb? Was that why Solas had awakened all the Evanuris again?

Anna felt like pulling out her hair. He had kept so much from her. She’d believed that the Evanuris could bring back the magic and immortality of the elves by their presence alone. _False._ She’d believed that the Veil had been a natural occurrence in Thedas, something the land itself developed. _False._ And she had believed that Avhenas was the ultimate answer for helping the elves, that all of the pantheon supported. All false.

_I can’t do this._ She was too unprepared, too oblivious. And how could she possibly think she could outsmart Solas, anyway?

She ended up lying on the bed, curled up into a miserable little ball. Anna was exhausted, really. This whole ordeal had been overwhelming, and she just needed a break from it all. Anna started to drift to sleep, when a figure flashed into her vision, appearing out of thin air.

Anna sat up in surprise, ready to defend herself, until she realized it was Falon’Din. She had quietly hoped that Solas would come after her, but of course, that was silly. She hadn’t thought Falon would care enough to come though. She really hadn’t.

“What are you doing here?” Anna asked.

His eyes were dark, his expression unreadable. “Everyone is worried about you,” he said.

“Everyone?”

“Ghilan’nain. Dirthamen.” He paused, eyes drifting downwards. “Myself.”

Anna sighed. “But not him.”

Falon’Din rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “I find it difficult to believe that your nas’falon would not care.”

Anna shrugged. “So you were worried?”

“No one goes without leaving word.”

“Well, thank you for caring,” she said, her tone laced with sarcasm.

His brow furrowed as he took a step closer. “When will you return?”

“Do you actually care?”

Falon’Din rolled his eyes. “Obviously.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Why else do you think I’m here?”

Anna stared at him. He looked frustrated, and his cheeks were flushed, as if in embarrassment. Perhaps he felt foolish about rushing after her, especially when she was just lying in a bed doing nothing, but it was obvious he felt concerned. And she was taking her anger out on him, when she really wanted to take it out on Solas. “I’m sorry, Falon,” she said. “I’m sorry I left without saying anything.”

Falon’Din shook his head. “You act as if he is the only one who cares for you,” he said, exasperated.

She didn’t say anything for a few moments, but soon realized how hungry she was. “Would you like to eat dinner with me?”

“Fenedhis,” he mumbled, dragging a hand over his face. “ _Yes_.”

“Okay.” She smiled, tears pricking her eyes. Anna stepped towards him and flung her arms around his chest in a clumsy hug. “Thank you for coming.”

“Don’t be daft,” he murmured, circling his arms around her in return. “Of course I would come.”

The two went to a nearby restaurant. He didn’t even snivel at the menu (for once), and they ate in relative peace.

“You should drink more water, Suledin,” he suggested, eyeing her untouched glass. “It will help.” She must look awful for him to suggest that.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Anna asked, taking a sip.

Falon’Din frowned. “You’re beginning to insult me.”

“I’m sorry, but you’ve never acted like this before. Like, at _all_. I just don’t get what’s changed.”

“It isn’t as if anything has _changed_. I simply… I cannot—” He exhaled. “It takes time for me to… open up to others.”

Her eyebrows raised. “So it’s like a trust thing?”

He shrugged. “We have not had much time together. Alone, that is,” he began. “I suppose you haven’t noticed that I… do not get along with the others.” He looked away. “They all remember what I’ve done.”

“What did you do?”

He stared out the nearby window. “The bloodlust. The killing,” he replied quietly.

“But haven’t all the Evanuris done that?”

“Not as I have.” He released a breath. “I was the reason Fen’Harel stopped us, trapped us. The reason for the Veil…” He looked her in the eye. “I killed Mythal.”

“No…” Anna said, narrowing her eyes. “I thought Elgar’nan was behind it.”

He shook his head. “He gave the order. I carried it out.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he said, softly and towards the floor, “I’m the best. The best at killing.”

“Athim…”

“I am death itself.”

She remained silent, thinking over his words.

“But after seeing what has become of the People, if I had known…” Falon’Din trailed off, lost in thought.

Anna was quiet for a while. She had so many questions, but Falon’Din seemed uncharacteristically distraught and regretful. How was he even able to kill her in the first place? Was Falon’Din really better at killing than the others? Or had Elgar’nan just been unwilling to do it himself?

They finished their meal and left. As the two walked back to the inn, she asked, “So you like me because I don’t treat you like a murderer?”

Falon’Din just shrugged.

She sighed, burying her face in her hands. Solas was a liar. Falon’Din was a murderer. The Evanuris were all fucked up in some way, and she really was naive to believe any of them would be otherwise.

But… she’d always known Falon’Din had been ruthless. Solas had brought it up many times (sometimes obsessively), though she never knew he had killed Mythal. All this information was making her head spin, and she didn’t want to deal with it right now, on top of everything else.

“I’m exhausted,” Anna said when they reached her room. “I need to sleep.”

“May I stay?” he asked, almost timid as she opened the door.

“If you sleep on this side of the bed,” she said, pointing to the farthest end of it. Luckily, the inn had a rather large one.

“Very well.”

Anna laid on the opposite side and fell asleep without another word.

* * *

Her spirit friend met her in the Fade, and this time it dressed as Falon’Din.

“You know I’m not like that anymore,” Desire said, with a worried look that she’d never even seen on the elf. “I love you, Anna.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Anna said, covering her face. “Quit it, will you?”

The spirit changed to its natural form.

“It’s very disturbing that you came as Falon’Din,” she said. “I really didn’t think I cared that much about him.”

“You do,” the spirit said.

“Apparently.” She glared at Desire. “You didn’t make him shiny enough, by the way. Dead giveaway.”

The spirit said nothing.

“Do you know how to kill a god?” Anna asked.

“Together, we could.”

Anna rolled her eyes. Always with the possession. “You’re no help.”

* * *

When she woke, the real Falon’Din was there. He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at her.

“Wha—were you watching me sleep?” she mumbled groggily. “That’s really creepy.”

“I’ve only just awoken,” Falon’Din said, only partially indignant. He exhaled loudly. “Do I repulse you now? Will you treat me differently?”

Anna stretched. She felt strangely numb to his confession from yesterday. Indifferent, even. It happened so long ago, and Mythal wasn’t even really dead—just a weird Morrigan-hybrid. “Well, the good news is that I already knew you were a murderer. I mean... you fucking murdered me the first time we met, so it’s not exactly shocking information.”

He nodded.

Anna sighed. “The bad news is that I still wish it wasn’t true.” Why did she always like the awful ones?

His mouth became a thin line.

“But,” she started, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, “I’m generally okay with it.”

“You are?” he asked, straightening a bit.

“It happened thousands of years ago, you were imprisoned for it, and you’ve been nicer to me than almost anyone, so I guess that’s good enough for now.” She looked at him. “But why did you do all that killing in the first place? Would you do it again?”

Falon’Din was quiet for a while, pondering her questions. “When everyone treats you as a god, you start to believe you are.” He sighed. “People are no longer people; they’re objects to discard.”

Anna hummed with a nod.

“If I had known how rare and precious an Elvhen would become… I would never have killed so many.” He looked out the window. “I will never kill needlessly again.”

Anna was silent as she processed this. _Never kill again_. Right, unless it was thousands of innocents who die from the Veil coming down. So hypocritical.

“I’m starving,” she said, feeling resigned. “Let’s eat.”

He nodded and they left.


	10. Chapter 10

_Four years earlier_

It took a little effort to get the spirits to perform it right, but soon they were singing along in exactly the fashion she wanted them to. _Finally,_ she thought. Good backup singers were hard to come by in the Fade.

“Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know…” Anna began. “That something wasn’t right here?” Her hips swayed to the raucous beat, and the spirits danced along behind her on an imagined stage. Solas was watching this time, so she had to make it as theatrical as possible.

“My loneliness is killing me, and I must confess I still _believe!_ ” The spirits echoed her words, _still believe!_ “When you’re not with me, I lose my mind, give me a _sign!_ Hit me, baby, one more time!” Anna finished, dramatically reaching an arm out towards Solas.

“A curious ballad, vhenan,” he said with a bemused expression. “Did you compose this song?”

Anna laughed. “No, it’s a popular one from my world. It’s been so long since I’ve actually heard it though… I might have gotten the lyrics wrong.”

Solas smiled. “Do you miss your realm?”

She shrugged and walked towards him. The spirits dispersed and the illusion faded, turning back to the regular green, rocky landscape. “I’d miss _you_ more if I was back there.” Anna took his hands and pulled him closer for a kiss.

“I know, vhenan,” he said softly, “but you are allowed to miss where you came from.”

“Solas, it’s one thing to miss a place, but it’s another to miss a place you can never go back to.” Anna shrugged again, swinging their connected hands. “I don’t see the point of dwelling on it. I just do this stuff in the Fade for fun, that’s all.”

His brows crinkled together in contemplation.

Anna touched his face. She recognized that expression. There were times when his melancholy would take over, when he wouldn’t stop lamenting his mistakes. “You’re thinking about Elvhenan, aren’t you?”

He looked down, nearly ashamed. “It is the old pain again, nothing more.”

They’d been over it _so many times,_ yet he wouldn’t let it go. Even after the countless elves they had freed, and the progress they’d made with Avhenas. It was just beginning to flourish. “We’re doing _good_ now, Solas. The elves will be thriving in a decade, you’ll see!”

He trailed a finger along her cheek. “But vhenan, do you ever wonder… if the Veil had never come to be, what the world would be like?”

Anna tilted her head, considering. “I think it’d just be a lot like Elvhenan, right?”

“Perhaps,” he said, “but what if it had become like your world instead?”

“We didn’t have magic, Solas,” she said, shaking her head. “Just technology.”

“I… suppose.”

“What is it, really, vhenan?” Anna asked. “What are you thinking?”

Solas exhaled. “It’s nothing, Anna. The same old questions from an old, tired man.”

“Wow, you trying to turn me on or something?” Anna smiled, laughing a little to lighten the mood.

He returned a small smile, but glanced away from her.

“Solas,” Anna said, turning his chin with her hand so he’d look at her, “you don’t have to worry about this. There’s nothing you can do. You have to think about the present. Avhenas is growing, and we’re going to free every slave there is.”

“I know,” he said, “but if—” Solas stopped himself. He gazed at her, lips parted to say more.

“What is it?” she asked, waiting.

A few more moments passed, his eyes searching her face, but he closed his mouth and shook his head. “You are right,” Solas admitted quietly. “There is nothing I can do.”

* * *

Anna was worried that Falon’Din would make her return to the base, but he didn’t even mention it. Instead, they simply explored Minrathous together. It seemed they both needed to forget the Dread Wolf and his maniacal plans, at least for a little bit.

It was strange to think that Falon’Din felt more comfortable around her than the Evanuris. And in a way, so did she. Maybe not as relaxed as she was with Ghilan’nain, though certainly more than the rest. Their mission had truly brought them closer, but should she be happy about that? He wasn’t exactly her ally in the grand scheme of things... Anna’s feelings for him were complicated at best.

“Okay, so we can check out the day bazaar today, or the puppet theater. Which interests you more?” Anna asked him after they’d finished eating breakfast together.

“ _Puppet_ theater?” he asked, disgusted.

Anna shrugged. “It’s supposed to be world-famous.”

Falon’Din scoffed at that. “Well, we must see the puppets then.”

Anna squinted at him. “Are you sure you want to be here?”

“What else have I got to do?”

Anna could think of plenty of things. Destroy the world, for one, but she now knew that he was actually against it, so she didn’t mention it. Instead, they both headed to the theater. It was an ornate building, tucked away in the center of town, which she only knew of because the innkeeper had told her about it. They played a show every few hours or so, and the two were lucky to snag some tickets for a performance that was just beginning.

They had a _blast._ The puppet theater was hilarious, and Anna had never seen Falon’Din laugh like that before.

“These humans really do know entertainment,” he said happily. “I haven’t laughed as much in two thousand years.”

“Well, that doesn’t really count since you were stuck in a mirror for most of it,” she teased.

“I loved the king character,” he said, ignoring her comment. “He was absurd.”

“He was the most like _you,_ you know,” Anna laughed, poking him.

Falon’Din snorted. “He was not.”

“Arrogant and melodramatic? Sounds an awful lot like you.”

He grinned. “If that was me, then you were the dog.”

She hit him on the arm and he laughed.

“What shall we do next?” he asked her, actual eagerness in his voice.

“The bazaar, I guess?”

He smiled. “Come, then.”

Minrathous really was a fantastic city. She struggled a bit navigating the streets, as it was quite huge and sprawling, but the architecture was stunning, and there was magic _everywhere._ Most people seemed to think Falon’Din was her servant, as normalized as it was in Tevinter. She wasn’t sure if the elf noticed, though, since he was in such a good mood. Possibly the best she’d ever seen him in. 

They walked through the shops and stalls of the market, with Falon’Din getting more and more jovial as time went on. “Suledin, you must wear this.”

She looked at the hat he was touching and rolled her eyes. It was a hat meant to resemble a nug, with long bits of fabric standing up on either side like ears. “No way.”

“You _must_.”

“ _No_.”

“It’s perfect.”

She crossed her arms. “What will you give me if I put it on?”

He raised his brows. “I will buy you it.”

“I don’t _want_ it.”

He laughed. “Put it on, Anna. Just for a moment.”

She huffed, but then lifted the hat to her head. “There,” she said, resigned.

Falon’Din brought his hands up to his mouth, like he couldn’t contain his laughter. “It is absolutely perfect.”

Anna rolled her eyes.

“I think, from now on, I will only request spirits to come to me in this form,” he laughed.

“How can you possibly be this entertained by a hat?”

He smiled. “Because you look adorable, little nug.”

She blushed. “What are you even saying?” Anna mumbled, removing the hat.

“You know what I said.” He took her hand then, slipping their fingers together. “Shall we eat?”

The contact surprised her, but she looked at their joined hands and nodded.

* * *

He kept doing that for the rest of the evening. Taking her hand. Anna didn’t know what to think of it. The intimacy nearly broke her heart. No one had touched her like that for years, and now this regular affection felt so sudden. It crushed her. (In a good way.)

They ate outside at a restaurant near a canal, which was quite romantic, really. A light breeze wafted in from the ocean, bringing its sea salt air and prickling Anna’s skin, and she enjoyed the soft murmurs of the other restaurant patrons around them. The sun was getting low, and a restaurant attendant began to light all the lanterns surrounding them. It all felt so wonderfully peaceful and _normal._

 _“_ Athim,” she said. Anna still felt a little shy about using his name. It felt too fond, too close. But at the same time, it made her happy to say it, like it was only hers to use. (But that couldn’t be true... Could it?)

“Yes?” He smiled at her in that easy way that was becoming more and more frequent. She used to think he looked menacing when he smiled, like how a predator would grin at its prey—but now she rather liked it. His smiles seemed gentler. They softened all his features in a tender way that warmed his eyes, too. It made her want to smile back.

“Aren’t you… haven’t you come to bring me back to the base?”

Falon’Din frowned. “Why?”

“Because… the mission?”

He rolled his eyes. “Even if I were, why would I bother returning? That place is horrid. Stifling.”

“So… we’re just running away?”

He sighed. “We are living as we want to.”

“Is that okay?”

“Everything is okay if you let it be.”

“Um, I don’t think that’s true.”

“Anna,” he said. “Do you wish to return?”

“No…”

“Do you think Fen’Harel deserves to have you return?”

Her face warmed. “I don’t know what he _deserves_.”

Falon’Din sighed, his gaze distracted by the attendant lighting the final lantern. “Well, I do. He deserves nothing.”

She was silent for a moment. “Don’t you miss Dirthamen?”

“Of course.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Why do you keep insisting that I leave?” He exhaled in frustration. “Am I so abhorrent to you?”

“No, Athim, of course not,” she said. “But… but he’s your nas’falon. He’s the love of your life! You two… Your love is the kind you write poetry about.” _Unlike mine._ “Why would you waste your time with me, if you miss him and could be with him right now?”

“It isn’t the kind you write _poetry_ about,” he said, scowling a bit. “Dirthamen and I… Our love runs deeper than that. It should not be placed on some bizarre pedestal because it simply cannot compare. Our connection is something that has existed longer than most of this world.”

“Sounds nice,” she sighed.

Falon’Din clicked his tongue noisily. “What I mean to say is… it does not matter how long we are apart—we’ve spent centuries apart before—it does not matter because I know he will always come back to me.” He looked at her across the table. “That is what nas’falon means. It is the faith we have in each other.”

“So what, you’re saying I should have _faith_ in Solas, too?” she asked incredulously, eyes starting to sting.

“No,” he said. “And yes. Have faith in yourself. Have faith in what you believe.” He paused. “And have faith in your love. Because it may not seem so at the moment, but there is a reason you both were born together.” 

Anna swallowed and didn’t say more about it. She’d need to face Solas again eventually. There was no point in hiding, and if Anna didn’t stop him, she’d never forgive herself. But she’d think about that tomorrow. 

After their meal, Anna was just about to suggest retiring for the evening, but Falon’Din proposed they walk along the water. Minrathous had a cobblestone path that went around the city’s edge, running along the ocean with a wooden pier and several boats. The night was warm, and the walk was quite easy, although Anna felt tired and apprehensive.

“Are you all right, Suledin?” Falon’Din asked. “You are unusually quiet.”

Anna shrugged, watching a group of Tevinter passersby singing drunkenly.

“Is it because of what I said?” Falon’Din wasn’t looking at her.

“I’m in a shitty place right now, okay?” She kicked a pebble on the path. “I don’t have to be peppy all the time.”

“Yes, but I—I wasn’t admonishing you. I understand your situation is… complex.”

“Ha, _complex_?” Anna stopped. “Tell me, Falon, has Dirthamen ever tried to destroy the world?”

“Not exactly,” he huffed, staring up at the sky. He took a few steps before he noticed she hadn’t followed, and turned back to face her.

“Then you can’t really understand, can you?” she said.

“I suppose not,” he said, his gaze moving away.

“Look, I’m not mad at you,” she said, walking closer. “It’s just—I don’t know what to do, okay? I feel helpless...” Anna exhaled and gave him a halfhearted smile. “I am glad you’re here, though. I’d be a complete mess if you weren’t.”

“Anna—”

“Let’s get a drink,” she said, taking his hand. “I don’t want to talk about that stuff right now.”

Falon’Din curled his fingers around hers. “Very well. Where shall we go?”

“I don’t know, back to the inn? I think they have a tavern.”

He nodded, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand. “Lead on.”


	11. Chapter 11

Anna and Falon’Din found their way back to the inn’s tavern. There, they drank about two glasses of wine each while tucked away in a corner of the room. The alcohol had numbed her mind considerably, and she welcomed the warm contentment, however fleeting it might be. Soon, she wasn’t really thinking about Solas and the Veil and the end of the world. She was only thinking about the elf beside her.

The two sat on a bench against a wall, and it felt like their own little world there, quiet and secluded. Falon’Din was leaning into her, his whole side pressed against hers, and he ran one finger along the skin of her bare arm. Up and down, over and over. Slowly.

“Was your death painful?” he asked in a low voice.

“You mean when you killed me?” Her head was resting on his shoulder.

“Yes.”

“Only for a moment... and then I wasn’t here.” Her thoughts traveled back to that day, years ago now, when her world went black. When she finally learned that she could never return to her previous life.

He hummed, bringing her again to the present. “Do you fear death now?” His voice was so soft, it was drawing her closer to him.

“Why?” Anna smiled. “What are you planning?”

The corner of his mouth lifted in return. “I would not hurt you again.” His hand stopped at her wrist, and he moved to lace his fingers between hers.

“Too scared of Fen’Harel?”

“I told you,” he murmured. “Too many lives lost.”

“Do you actually care about that?” She pulled on his sleeve, twisting the fabric in her fingers.

“Of course.”

“But don’t you hate everyone? Don’t humans disgust you?” Anna asked. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol tinting her vision, but he looked _really_ attractive tonight. She liked how sharp his cheekbones were, and his jawline… Anna wanted to nibble it.

“If we had no humans, we would not have such wonderful puppet theaters,” Falon’Din replied with a small chuckle. “Besides, you are human.”

“Meaning?” It was difficult to focus on anything besides his mouth.

“You don’t disgust me.” He was practically whispering now, and he’d shifted so close that his nose bumped hers. “Quite the opposite, actually.”

“You don’t disgust me either.” Anna could feel his breath on her cheek, and her chest rose heavily from her own breathing.

“How generous of you to say,” Falon’Din said, his lips hovering before hers.

She wasn’t sure who moved first. It felt magnetic. His aura drew her in, and then his mouth was on hers and it didn’t matter who had started it. It just happened, and all she wanted was _more_.

He soon slipped them both through the Veil and back to her room. They fell onto the bed, limbs entwined with one another’s.

They probably shouldn’t be kissing. But it was too late now, she supposed. Falon’Din kissed just like he talked to her; teasingly. Teasing her bottom lip with his tongue. Teasing her jaw with his mouth. 

Her fingers crept up his nape and slid into his hair. It’d been so long since she’d kissed someone, and even longer since she’d kissed someone with _hair_. Athim’s hair was fantastic. Soft and smooth, tickling her shoulder as it draped over her.

He pulled at everything as he kissed her. Her clothes, her skin, her hair. Like he couldn’t get enough, like she couldn’t get closer. Or maybe he was just trying to tear her apart. (He already was.)

“Anna,” he breathed into her neck. He repeated her name a few times, just like that. Hot on her skin. Seeping into her cells. 

He was so heavy upon her. So heavy and present and whole. She’d forgotten what it was like to have a weight like this against her. To feel another person, warm and alive, heart beating against her own. She hadn’t realized how much she missed it. How good it felt, and how hungry it made her for more. 

When he started tugging her shirt off, she stopped him. “Wait,” Anna said, “what are we doing?”

He kissed her neck. “Do I really need to clarify?” he murmured against her skin.

“But—” she gasped, “but what about Dirthamen?”

“He is fine with it,” Falon’Din said, lowering his mouth to her collarbone. “I’ve already told him of my feelings.”

“Wha—feelings?”

Falon’Din pulled away, looking shocked. “ _Anna_ ,” he said, exasperated. “You really—” He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head. “Haven’t I been obvious?”

“Obvious? What do you mean?”

Falon’Din gaped at her a few moments before sighing. “You never were the sharpest.” He collapsed onto his back, covering his face with a hand. “But I suppose I cannot fault you. You haven’t known me as long as the others.”

“Wait, so are you saying you… have feelings for me?”

“ _Yes_ ,” he replied, annoyed.

She let the words sink in for a moment before confessing, “Well, I… have feelings for you, too.”

He smiled, removing his hand from his eyes to look at her. “Then what is the issue?”

“Just…” she said. “Our _nas’falons_. Aren’t we... wronging them?”

Falon’Din exhaled. He propped himself up and lifted a hand to her cheek, tracing a finger along her skin. “It is different for immortals… Most of us do not believe in only keeping to one another. There are too many in the world.” He smiled. “After you live through your first few centuries, I’m sure you’ll understand.”

Anna pursed her lips. “I still feel… guilty about it.”

He studied her a few moments before saying, “Very well, then. I’ll stop.”

She instantly regretted saying anything, and the yearning from her body screamed at her to continue. Was it even cheating if Solas hadn’t touched her for years?

And hadn’t she already left him? Maybe he wasn’t even her partner anymore anyway, and the twin soul bit was just a technicality. The thought gnawed at her more than she would’ve liked to admit. She had become used to her loneliness in recent years, true, but she never thought it was the complete and final end to their relationship. It felt inconceivable. Anna still _loved_ Solas, and that was the painful, steadfast fact.

Thinking of Solas had all her feelings of inadequacy rushing back. It didn’t make sense for Falon’Din to care about her. She wasn’t even seen as worthy to her own soulmate! So why should this elf feel any differently?

“What—what do you even like about me?” she asked quietly, feeling ashamed.

“Admittedly, very little.”

She nodded solemnly, for what was there to like? She was a meager, silly fool.

“ _Anna_ , I jest,” he said, a little aggravated. “So quick to believe me…” He sat up and shook his head in disapproval. “In truth, there is very little I dislike of you.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s not true.”

“Why?” he said accusingly. “Because of how I tease you?”

“Well… Yes. You always say I’m barbaric. I’m like a nug.” She exhaled. “And I’m clumsy and stupid… And human.”

“Anna,” he said, voice reproachful. “I don’t—you aren’t any of those things.”

She stared at him. “I’m definitely _human_.”

“I mean I do not _actually_ think so negatively of you.” He sighed. “Do you think I’d be nearly out of my mind kissing you if I did?”

“Um… yes?” People did all sorts of shit to get into another person’s pants. Who was she to question his horniness?

“I wouldn’t. I do have standards,” Falon’Din said, irritated. He looked at her and let out a breath. “Have you no idea how… charming you are?”

She snorted. “What?”

“You are delightful, Anna,” he said, sitting beside her. “And I find you beautiful.”

Anna looked away from him, a flush overtaking her face.

“Even the curve of your ears I think pretty.” He pushed a strand of her hair behind an ear to see it better. 

She turned back towards him at the touch. The moons shined dimly into the room, and the light made all the shadows of his face deeper, his eyes glowing the way all elves’ did.

“And you make me laugh, which few can do,” Falon’Din continued, one side of his mouth lifted. “And you care for everything, every being you meet, which, while troublesome at times, is still… admirable. Astounding, really.”

She hadn’t thought Falon’Din to be the type to notice anything, let alone herself. “Really?” was all she could muster.

“ _Yes,_ ” he said, although not as annoyed as he sounded before. “But beyond all of that… I feel connected to you,” he said with slight hesitation. “Your spirit. And mine. There’s something there.” He placed his hand upon his chest, where his heart laid beneath. “I feel it—here—whenever I see you. And it’s very hard to look away.”

“Wait, what?” She blinked in surprise. “Are you trying to say we have an _actual_ spiritual connection?”

“Possibly.”

“How?”

He huffed out an exhale, and turned away from her. “I have… regretfully killed many in my lifetime. But of every life I have ended, only one has ever returned.” He caught her eye again, his gaze pouring into hers. 

“Me,” she supplied. “But how do you even know it’s that?”

“I’ve always been drawn to you,” he said quietly, “but I think I realized it was something more when I first saw you in the Fade.”

Anna recalled that Fade-party from forever ago. The one where she first noticed he beamed like a beacon. “Are you talking about that party a few years ago?”

“Yes.”

“Is that why you kept staring at me?”

“You were staring at me first,” he said with indignance.

“Yes, but only because you’re obnoxiously shiny in the Fade.” She tilted her head. “Is it really just wisps that make you so bright?”

He grinned a little. “It’s probably because you’re in love with me.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Shut up, I know it’s not that.”

“The spirits are attracted to me,” he explained. “I am the God of Death.”

“Yeah, but you’re not _actually_ a god.”

Falon’Din smiled at her, a little disbelievingly. “Not all our stories are myths,” he said.

What stories were true? Anna paused. “Did you actually guide spirits to the Beyond?”

“Anna,” he said, incredulous, “I _still_ do.”

“ _What?_ ” she said, taken aback. “But how?”

“I help them,” he said, with a small shrug. “I listen to their troubles, and guide them down the path to peace.”

“ _Huh?_ ” Her world felt like it was tilted on its axis. She’d always believed Falon’Din to just lie around being useless, similar to herself, not really contributing to society in any way. This did not line up with her knowledge of him in the least. None of this did.

“You really… don’t know anything about me, do you?” he asked, sounding nearly disappointed.

“I… I guess I don’t.”

He was quiet a while. “If my teasing upsets you, I do apologize. I could… stop, if you would prefer it.”

“I don’t mind,” she said. “Not if you don’t mean it, of course.” His remarks used to bother her, especially when she’d first met him, but lately she hadn’t been giving it much thought. It reminded her of when Solas used to tease her...

Anna sighed. She didn’t need another stupid spirit connection to _another_ ancient elf, even if she rather liked Falon’Din. She was sick of this fated bullshit that made her stuck with certain people.

“So you think we’re connected,” she said, defeatedly.

He nodded. “It was confusing at first, of course. I did not understand why a human could affect me so. Especially one connected to… _him_.”

Anna stared at the ceiling. Another being that was forced to be attached to her, whether he wanted to or not. “And that’s why you like me.”

Falon’Din exhaled harshly. “Did you not hear all the other kind things I said?” He shook his head. “That is a very rare admission from me, you know.”

Anna’s mouth scrunched. “But what if you only feel like that because we have some sort of weird death-connection?” She covered her eyes with her hands. “What if it’s tricking you into liking me?”

“Perhaps.” He peeled one of her hands away and kissed her knuckles. “But we may not even be connected at all.” One corner of his mouth curled upwards. “I may only be using that as an excuse.”

Her eyes were shining with tears. She shouldn’t be crying, but she was so damned depressed, and this was all too much. 

“No, you don’t like me.” Anna covered her face so she wouldn’t have to see him. “You’re being tricked into it, just like he was.”

“Anna,” he said, voice still gentle, “do you really think, after all this time we’ve spent together, that I truly do not care for you?”

“Yes,” she answered, removing her hands from her eyes.

He actually looked a little hurt.

“I’m unlovable, Athim!” she said. “I’m stupid, I’m loud, I’m immature, I’m useless. Do you understand? I’m a detestable human being.”

“Do you think I’m any better?” he said angrily, standing to pace around the room. “Do you think _he’s_ any better?” One of his hands flung into the air dramatically.

“Well—yes,” she replied, watching him stomp back and forth.

“Don’t be preposterous,” he spat. “ _He_ is the one at fault. Fen’Harel has put these awful ideas into your head!” He stopped in front of her. “I killed you, Anna. I _killed_ you, without thought. And yet—you are still kind to me. You have always been kind to me, from the moment we met.” He leaned forward to place both of his hands on each side of her face. “Anna. You are strong, you are intelligent, you are _good_.” He was starting to blur from all the tears filling her vision.

“And I do not believe this because of some arbitrary connection we may or may not have,” Falon’Din continued. He swallowed. “I might have just fabricated it all, anyway, to convince myself of why I feel like this.” He kneeled before her, and the next thing he said was in a much quieter voice. “But I know what I feel, and that is that you are a lovely person, who has a terrible mate as your nas’falon.” He kissed her forehead. “And you deserve better.”

“Like you?” she sniffed.

“Fenedhis, no,” he said. “Someone much better than either of us.”

A strangled burst of laughter came from her. It sounded wet and awful, but she felt a little calmer. “Well… this is all… a lot.” She swallowed. “But thank you.”

“Of course, Anna.” He pulled her into his arms. “You know I’d use any excuse to speak indelicately of that traitor.”

She laughed again. “I hope you realize I do support his betrayal of your kin, right?”

“We needn’t discuss every particular.”

She was quiet for a moment, resting in the crook of his neck. “You really feel that way about me?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“Then… can we not say it’s a spiritual connection?” she asked. “I don’t think I can handle another one.”

“If you’d prefer,” Falon’Din said, stroking her back. “Though I rather like it.”

“Why?”

“Because, dear nug, it means _you_ are connected to _me_.” He smiled, regarding her. “And I enjoy having you around.”

Anna smiled a little, and all she wanted to do was kiss him again. She lifted her chin, and he met her mouth ardently. It was gentle and unhurried, and his hand went to her cheek, and he tugged a bit on her lower lip, sweeping his tongue across it, asking for entry. She broke away to rest her forehead against his. “You’re killing me, Athim. _Again_.”

“It’s what I do best,” he whispered, eyes still closed.

She wanted nothing more than to lose herself in him. But the complexities of reality were too much to bear, and it confused her, troubled her, and she needed time to process it all.

“I need to rest, and… think about this some more,” she said instead.

He nodded in understanding, and the two readied for sleep, his arms surrounding her until she drifted off to the Fade.


	12. Chapter 12

She sat cross-legged in the middle of a bustling street. At an intersection of a huge metropolis that only existed in her world. People walked past her, cars rushed by in a blur, but she remained still, in the center, watching it all.

“Anna,” Solas said, his voice echoing behind her.

She had felt his presence the moment he arrived, but still she did not turn to face him. It had been months, maybe even a year, since he’d last visited one of her dreams. Anna thought she might be surprised by his return, but Solas’s spirit was so familiar that she felt nothing at all. Just a weary, impassive apathy.

“Would taking down the Veil be able to bring this to Thedas?” Anna asked, looking at the skyscrapers around her. She took a long breath and closed her eyes. “Would I be able to make my world reality?”

He sighed. “Possibly.”

She turned to look at him over her shoulder. Solas was wavering on the sidewalk of her dream as people shuffled around him hurriedly. He was dressed simply, with none of his usual shiny armor that stunk of power. His expression was cool, as it always was these days, yet also a little tired.

“I really can’t believe you’ve lied to me for this long, Solas.” She stood and huffed a breath. “And you haven’t even come to see me. Do you even care that I’m gone?”

He creased his brow. “I assumed you would not want to see me.”

“Falon’Din came for me, Solas. _Falon’Din_. He cares more than you do!”

Solas leveled his gaze at her. “I highly doubt that.”

Her hands went to fists. “Well, it certainly doesn’t seem like you care.” Anna's eyes stung with tears. “What _happened_ , Solas? Do you just despise me? Do you think I’m the biggest idiot in the world?!” she demanded, voice starting to quiver.

“Anna,” he said softly, approaching her, “you have every right to be angry.”

“Fuck, Solas,” she said, bringing her hands to her eyes. Anna was fully crying now. “Just tell me _why_.”

“I’m sorry.” He reached for her arms, holding them just above the elbow. “I did not tell you because I knew you would try to stop me.”

“But why are you doing it if it’s so bad?” Anna asked, leaning into him. It’d been so long since he’d last touched her… She could feel herself melting into it. She was so very weak.

“I have no _choice_ , Anna.” He closed his eyes, and his voice was resigned. “What the Veil has caused to this world… and what the Evanuris expect of me. I have no choice.” 

It all sounded familiar, like what Falon’Din had once told her. _But what choice do I have_?

He swallowed. “You will never understand what it feels like, Anna. You have never done a single wrong in your life.”

“That’s not true,” she said. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she wiped them away with a hand. “Why couldn’t you tell me this years ago?”

“Because…” he began, softly, “I need you. I need you beside me.”

Her eyes lifted to meet his. “Need me?” she said, voice going gentle. She lifted her hands to touch his arms, just like he was holding hers. Maybe he cared more than she thought. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to do this at all.

“Your magic…” he continued, looking deep into her eyes, “it is the same as mine. The same that created the Veil.” Solas raised a hand to touch her hair. “And if I fail, you are the only one that can complete the task.”

Anna frowned. The truth of his words sunk in, and she released him, backing away. He didn’t need _her_ , he needed her _magic_. “So you’re… using me?” Anna shook her head. “The only reason you’ve kept me around is because I’m your... contingency plan?”

“No,” he said, hurt in his voice, “of course not, vhenan.”

“Don’t say that fucking word,” Anna hissed. “How dare you call me that!” She stepped even further back, her hands covering her face. “I love you,” she said. “I love you so fucking much, but—but you can’t treat me like this! Not anymore.”

“Anna—”

“I’m never coming back,” she said. “I’m not going to be your puppet—just a _slave_ to your will!”

He looked taken aback, then his expression turned somber. “You know I can find you,” he said quietly.

“I don’t care,” Anna cried. “I’ll keep running.”

And she ran.

* * *

Falon’Din was asleep beside her when she awoke. She started crying immediately. Anna didn’t want to disturb him, so she went to the balcony attached to her room and cried outside. The tears fell heavy and thick out of her, wracking loud sobs from deep within her chest. All this time, he had been using her.

Her magic was his magic… The same that created the Veil. The same that could destroy it. Everything was starting to fall into place. Why he’d kept her around for so long, even though she did absolutely nothing. Why the only thing he’d ever asked her to do was improve her magical skill… How long ago would he have discarded her if she hadn’t had any magic at all?

Falon’Din eventually heard and appeared beside her.

“Anna?”

“I saw Solas last night.”

He paused, arching a brow. “And?”

“He told me about the Veil. Why he bothers to keep me around.”

He leaned against the frame of the door. “And why is that?”

She sobbed. “For my fucking _magic_.” Her voice broke on the last word.

He waited a few moments for her to say more, but then eventually said, “Come back inside, Anna.”

When she didn’t move, he put his hands on her shoulders and guided her into the room again. Anna was wailing now. She didn’t think she could feel any worse, couldn’t sink any lower, but this had her heart shattered at rock bottom.

“Why do I even exist?” she whimpered. “Why am I here?”

“Those questions have no answers,” he said, sitting her down on the bed.

“I’m not meant to be here,” she whispered. She really wasn’t. Anna was like the spare tire that didn’t match the others. The one to keep around just in case, but everyone would prefer the extra trunk space. And then thinking of tires and cars made her cry even harder, because it wasn’t like anyone in Thedas would even understand the metaphor.

“No,” he said, more sternly, “ _he_ isn’t meant to treat you like this. That is the only wrong.”

Anna sobbed some more, and then she felt guilty for constantly dragging Falon’Din into this mess... But he was complicit in Solas’s plan as well. He was one of the Evanuris who had lied to her just like all the others.

“So did you know about this?” she said. “That my magic could destroy the Veil, just like his?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “Sylaise hypothesized it some time ago, though we were never fully certain of it. But Dirthamen and I also have the same magic, so it seemed plausible.” His words were quiet.

“If that’s true, then why wouldn’t you all tell me?” Anna asked. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to get me to go along with it, instead of just hiding it from me completely?”

He met her gaze. “Would you have agreed to it?”

“Probably not.” Anna wiped her eyes. She couldn’t picture a situation where she would comply, unless they deceived her even more. “How are you planning on taking down the Veil?”

Falon’Din raised his chin, silent for a moment as he considered her question. “June has forged another orb, using a lyrium idol,” he said. “But this idol... It took much of our power to control it, and quite some time. I do not think any mortal could have achieved such a feat. And it has been corrupted, so the result is not exactly as we’d hoped.”

“What do you mean?”

“June forged the orb from the idol, but it isn’t… it isn’t like the previous one. It feels tainted. And none of us are certain what the outcome will be when the Veil is removed by it.”

Anna rubbed her temples. The situation was even more awful than she’d assumed. Not only were they risking all the lives in Thedas, but they weren’t even sure what the aftermath would be. These stupid fucking Evanuris.

“I can’t believe Solas would ever agree to this.”

Falon’Din said nothing.

“And only his magic can use this new orb?” she asked.

“The Veil is his magic—your magic. So yes,” he said. “The orb contains all the power of the Evanuris, but only Fen’Harel is able to channel it. And this vessel is stronger than the last. It can destroy the Veil completely, all at once.”

“But… it will be slower this time, unlike Corypheus?”

“Yes—well, there have been some complications. Fen’Harel foolishly told the Inquisitor his plans, and now the Inquisition and the Qunari have been disrupting our every move. So the timeline for the ritual has been hastened.”

Anna gaped at him. “This sounds like a fucking mess, Athim.”

Falon’Din shrugged. “What else would you expect of Fen’Harel but disaster?”

“He’s not _stupid_ , Falon,” she huffed. Although… he could be very foolish. Anna sighed. “I need to stop it,” she declared.

Falon’Din nodded. “I will help you.”

“What?” she said, surprised. “No—Really?”

“Why not?”

“You’re one of the Evanuris,” she argued. “You’d be going against your lethallen. You—you said you couldn’t before. You had no choice.”

Falon’Din took a few moments to answer. “The spirits are scared. They fear what will become of this world. The Veil… the Veil is too important now to remove it. Not like this.” He exhaled. “What good am I if I cannot help the spirits that need me?”

“But won’t the Evanuris… be upset?”

He rolled his eyes. “They’ve been angry with me for at least four thousand years. I can handle a little more of their wrath.”

“Right, but… what if you get hurt? What if they try to kill you?”

Falon’Din smiled. “That worried for me, are you?” he asked, wriggling his brows.

She hit his arm. “This is serious! You— _you’d_ be the betrayer.”

“I know.” He frowned. “You don’t think I know that?” He turned away from her. “What is the point of creating a half-dead world? I’ve seen what has risen from this Veil, and it isn’t something to be discarded… If that means I must stand against my lethallen, then I will.”

“But… what about Dirthamen?”

“He isn’t beholden to the same choices as myself. I will respect whatever he decides.”

“Athim,” she said, placing her hand over his.

“I’ve no time for your pity,” he said, straightening. “What is our plan then?”

“Um… I don’t really have one.”

“Then let me suggest one.” Falon’Din stood, pacing the room. “The orb must be destroyed. It took all of the Evanuris to create it, and if I refuse my magic, then they will not be able to create another.”

“Really?” she asked. “That would be enough to stop them?”

“Yes,” he said. “It took… it took a great deal of our power, some that we may never recover. And there are no other lyrium idols that we know of.” He swallowed. “I do not think it can be done again.”

“Then… we just need to break the orb, and it’ll be over? If we just took it, and… smashed it or something? That’s how it was destroyed last time.”

Falon’Din shook his head. “This one is more powerful than the last. And indestructible, at least by force.” He turned towards her. “The only method is to use magic.”

“What magic?” Anna asked. “Fire?”

He shook his head again. “It must be your magic. The very same as the Veil.”

“Then—how? How would I destroy it?”

“I cannot say,” Falon’Din said.

Anna exhaled, running her hands through her hair in frustration.

“We need to return to the base,” he said.

“I—I don’t know. I’m not ready. I don’t have a plan!”

“You do have a plan.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “You must retrieve the orb.”

She shook her head, and opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off.

“I will help you,” Falon’Din said, and then he smiled. “This is not some foreign, enemy territory we are returning to, Suledin. Our infiltration is simple. We pretend to be allies, find the orb, and destroy it.” He touched a hand to her cheek. “Simple.”

“I… guess.”

Falon’Din rubbed a thumb across her cheekbone, still smiling. “Trust me, Anna.”

Anna nodded. “I trust you,” she said, and they soon set out.

* * *

“You should Step through the Veil back to the base,” Falon’Din suggested.

“How? It’s so far.”

“You would be able to.”

“How do you know?”

“Because it’s _your_ Veil,” Falon’Din said. “Your magic, Suledin.”

Her magic… What a bizarre thought. Anna had never noticed anything particularly familiar about the Veil. She felt it, a constant presence like a low hum along her skin, but nothing that felt like _hers_. But then again, what other feeling did she have to compare it to?

“Okay,” she said, taking his hand. “I’ll try to Step there.” Anna took a deep breath, thought of the base, and pushed through the Veil.

It worked. They arrived at the building, inside one of the rooms, exactly as she’d pictured. Crossing towns and forests and rivers and whatever else. Anna looked at him and smiled. “I… did it,” she said, breathlessly.

Falon’Din smiled at her, but then saw something behind her and frowned. Anna turned to see Sylaise, standing tall with her nose in the air. There were guards all around her—agents of Fen’Harel—and they had their weapons pointed at the two.

“You’re quite brazen to return here,” Sylaise sneered. “Seize them.”

The guards rushed around them, grabbing Anna and Falon’Din’s arms and poking their necks threateningly with swords.

“I’m insulted,” Falon’Din chided. “Have you so little faith in me, lethallan?”

“Of course,” she replied. “I’m much too intelligent to trust you.”

“I have _brought_ you Suledin, just as requested,” he said, gesturing towards her.

Anna’s eyes snapped to him, dread dropping like a weight in her stomach. _Betrayal_. Fuck. Of course Falon’Din would backstab her!

Just then, Dirthamen strode into the room. “See? Didn’t I tell you? My Falon’Din never disappoints.”

Falon’Din saw Dirthamen and smiled. “Vhenan.”

Sylaise hummed, looking between the two. “Very well, unhand him,” she commanded. The guards released the elf, but still kept a strong hold on Anna. “Excellent work, Falon’Din,” she said, eyeing Anna.

“You see how counterproductive it is to doubt me?” Falon’Din smirked, straightening his tunic.

Sylaise didn’t reply, and instead walked towards Anna. “We have a special cell for you, Suledin,” she sang. “One that prevents any magic you might use to escape.” 

“Where is Fen’Harel?” Anna demanded. “He would never allow this.” _I think_. Would he?

“Oh, he’s much too busy for the likes of you,” Sylaise smiled. “Tomorrow’s the big day, after all.” She nodded to the guards. “Take her away.” 

The elven guards dragged her out, and Anna shouted at Falon’Din as she went, “I trusted you! You’re such a piece of shit, Falon’Din!”

He didn’t even look at her.

* * *

They stuffed her in an enchanted holding cell. No magic allowed. Or rather, she could do magic, but there seemed to be a barrier between her and the bars. Anna didn’t even know they had cells like these in the base, but perhaps they were common for mages in Thedas.

She sat on a little bench in the cell, and covered her face with her hands. Falon’Din had betrayed her. He’d convinced her to come back, and led her straight into a trap. They were probably just holding Anna here in case Solas needed her, as she was his backup Veil magic.

Anna sighed, but did not cry. It hurt. It hurt a _lot_ that Falon’Din would do this to her. She’d really grown to like him—maybe even more than that—but she also knew that all the Evanuris were like this. Liars and murderers and generally terrible people.

Still though… she’d thought he’d been different. He had _assured_ her he was. Anna thought about all those sweet things he had said to her. She thought about when he’d held her as she cried… And then she did start to cry. _Dammit_. She was not supposed to care about Falon’Din! This deception was completely in line with his character, just what Solas had always warned her about. Why was she so gullible?

But Anna continued to remember what she shouldn’t. His arms around her, holding her close. His breath at her neck. The rhythm of his heart against her ear.

 _I’m such an idiot_.


	13. Chapter 13

Solas used to tell her of the days of Elvhenan, and how couples would spend decades tangled in each other’s arms. When Anna asked if they could do the same, he only laughed. “The Veil, vhenan,” he’d say. “The Veil changes all.”

  


* * *

  


It was slightly damp in her cell. Anna was underground, surrounded by stone walls, and there was nothing but a small bench and a straw mattress for her to sleep on. (And a bucket in the corner. _Gross_.) She felt helplessly trapped.

How could she ever stop them now? There must be _something_ she could do from this place...

After a few hours contemplating in the prison, a visitor for her arrived. “Ghil!” Anna exclaimed, gripping the bars of her cell.

“Suledin,” Ghilan’nain replied with a tight smile.

“It’s so good to see you,” Anna said. “Ghil, you have to help me get out of here! Sylaise just locked me up, and she thinks I’m going to betray the organization!” Although it was _true_ , but Ghilan’nain didn’t need to know that.

The elf sighed, stepping closer. “Suledin…”

“No,” Anna said, examining her friend’s concerned face. “You don’t… you don’t _believe_ her, do you?”

“I heard what you said to Fen’Harel,” Ghilan’nain explained. “About how you swore to stop us…”

“But—it’s—” Anna sputtered. She wasn’t sure how to lie around it.

“I know how much you care for quicklings…” Ghilan’nain said, mouth twisted in pity. “They… they aren’t _like_ us, Suledin. They’ll be gone faster than a blink!” Ghilan’nain placed a hand on the bars. “You needn’t worry for them like this.”

Anna shook her head, pushing herself off the bars and away from the elf. “They are _people_ , Ghil! You can’t treat them like insects!”

“There will be new people,” she said softly. “Ones who live forever, just as we do.”

“Wow, okay,” Anna said. “I guess I know where you stand then.”

“Suledin,” Ghilan’nain said, “once the Veil is taken down… you will understand.”

“I’m pretty sure I won’t.”

She just sighed and left. Anna trudged around in her cell a while, but eventually went to sleep.

  


* * *

  


Though Anna couldn’t use magic to escape, she could still dream. The familiar Fade fell around her, floating rocks and twisting spires speckling the endless green scenery. Anna sought out Desire, who found her as soon as she wished to see the spirit.

“She who endures,” Desire said. “You summon me?”

“Are you afraid of the Veil coming down?” Anna asked it.

“I do not fear anything,” Desire replied, staring at her with its glowing eyes.

“But… if there wasn’t a Veil, what would happen to you?” Anna said. “Would you actually become a demon?”

“The Veil has been thinning since its creation,” Desire said. 

“It has?” Anna asked, glancing around her.

“We press against it—we wish it gone. But not like this.”

“Why not?”

“Too soon. Too much. Too difficult.”

“You’ll all become warped…” Anna said.

“We are what you are.”

She paced her dream, thinking. Anna didn’t have much, but she had this communication with Desire. The spirit had its own power, after all. 

“Desire, could you—is it possible that you could gather as many spirits as you can, and stop this ritual from happening?”

The spirit did not answer.

“Come on, there _has_ to be a way. Like, maybe you could block the power coming from the orb?” Anna wasn’t even sure how the orb worked, but anything was worth a try.

“You ask for chaos,” Desire hissed. The Fade seemed to ripple around it in reaction.

“Well, I don’t know what else to do!” she shouted back, but then a thought struck her. “Unless… if we, if we were to join—would it be enough power to stop the Evanuris? Would we be strong enough?” Anna asked.

Desire’s eyes became alight with excitement. It was strange to see a spirit excited. It didn’t usually have much emotion at all, but Desire had been waiting quite some time for this exact request.

The spirit opened its mouth to answer, when another presence entering her dream made Anna gasp. “ _Solas_.”

“Be gone, spirit,” he said to Desire. The spirit disappeared immediately.

“We were having a conversation!” Anna yelled.

“You cannot seriously be contemplating abomination?” he said angrily. “That spirit would take more than it offers.”

“Why are you here, Solas?” she huffed.

“I came to find you,” he said. “You disappeared. Your aura. I could not find it. I thought perhaps, somehow, you had discovered how to...” He trailed off and swallowed.

Anna stared at him. He didn’t know. Sylaise and the other Evanuris hadn’t told him how they’d locked her in an enchanted cell.

“I’ve been captured,” she said, “by _your_ lethallen!”

“What?” he said, shocked.

“They’ve thrown me in a cell in the Tevinter base!”

His mouth became a thin line. “Anna—”

“Is this because I said I’d stop you?” she demanded. “Well, you don’t need to bother. I have no way of stopping you.”

“I did not know they had detained you,” he said, “but it is probably for the best. You will be safer there.”

“Safe from what? What’s happening, Solas?”

He gazed at her, a sadness in his eyes. “We will remove the Veil tomorrow.”

It was all happening so quickly. “Well, congratulations,” she spat. “You’ll finally get what you want.”

“ _Anna_ ,” Solas said, reaching out, but stopped when she recoiled. “I told you—I have no choice.”

“Of course you have a choice!” she cried, a hand going to her face in disbelief. “You are the one orchestrating all of this!”

“I don’t!” he exclaimed, then his voice quieted. “I swear it. I have no choice.”

“ _Why not_?” Anna said. “Why can’t you just tell me?"

He sighed, looking away from her. “Initially, I believed I did. I thought Avhenas would assuage them.” Solas changed the landscape of the dream, so that it resembled their haven across the sea. It looked so peaceful there. Elves were walking near a building—a schoolhouse, Anna recalled—chatting happily and laughing. Some were working in a garden nearby.

“Elgar’nan was pleased, and Mythal was finally able to help the People as she wished,” Solas continued. “But the Veil… the Veil makes them feel so much weaker, Anna. They despise its restrictions on their power.” The illusion of Avhenas melted back to the regular Fade.

“So what, they forced you?” Anna asked, crossing her arms.

Solas hung his head, looking drained and resigned. “Sylaise proposed we destroy the Veil, and so we devised a plan to remove it slowly over _centuries_. The world could then adjust accordingly, and more elves could regain their magic and immortality as new generations were born.”

“Okay,” she said. That seemed… reasonable. “So what changed?”

“The Evanuris are not accustomed to how the Veil affects time,” Solas explained. “It feels so much longer. Painfully so. They became restless, demanding it happen sooner.” He sighed. “I could not reason with them, and together they are much more powerful than me.” Solas swallowed, meeting her eyes again. “So I agreed. But to remove it sooner required more power, and so we sought the lyrium idol to forge another orb. And then the Qunari discovered us and began their relentless attacks, and we needed to accelerate our plans even more. Everything fell so far out of my control.”

Solas took a breath. “Anna, the reason I kept this from you… It was not that you would _try_ to stop me. It was that I knew you would succeed. If you tried to stop me, I would give in. And the Evanuris are too powerful for us to defeat alone. It frightened me.”

He gazed at her, brow creasing in shame. “I cannot stop them as I did in the past, and they demanded the Veil torn down… and how could I refuse when they can so easily kill the both of us? And when it is my fault the Veil exists in the first place?” Solas paused a moment. “I thought… at least I could right the People again, even if it costs this world so much.”

Anna was silent as she processed his words. She hadn’t expected such a confession (although Solas did always love to explain things), but it had been ages since he’d spoken this much to her. The familiarity calmed her somewhat.

“We could have solved this together,” Anna said, looking into his sad eyes.

“Perhaps we could have, but I did not see a solution,” he replied. “I still don’t. Anna… I won’t let you die again.” He reached for her then, and she let him. Solas pulled her close, holding her arms, and he rested his forehead against hers. “I only wanted to protect you, but everything became so… complicated.”

“Did you have to _ignore_ me, too?” She couldn’t stop the tears from falling. All the memories of his cold glances still clenched desperately at her heart.

“The more time I spent with you, the harder it was to continue my deception,” he said. “I had to separate myself from you.” He closed his eyes. “Anna, it tore me apart. It still is.”

 _Fucking hell_. “There has to be a way to fix all this,” Anna said.

“There isn’t,” he said, withdrawing to shake his head. “Which is why you must go through with it if I fail. They will end us both otherwise.”

“But… all the people who will die. My life isn’t worth their deaths.”

“I understand… but the Evanuris will never stop, Anna. And if you attempt to destroy the orb, you will perish in the aftermath. I am not even certain what would happen to the Veil... This orb is corrupted with red lyrium, and it is unstable.” Solas took her hands. “And at least, if we are there after the Veil is removed, we can help the survivors.”

“Is this what you tell yourself?” Anna asked. “To convince yourself that this is the right thing to do?”

“It isn’t the right thing,” Solas said, “but these are the consequences of my actions. I… I’m so sorry that I’ve forced this upon you.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“If you had just forgiven yourself, we would never be in this mess. If you’d just let the Evanuris stay in that mirror...” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I know.”

“It hurts,” she whispered. “You’ve hurt me.”

“I know,” he said again.

“How can I ever trust you?” Anna asked. “When you’ve been lying to me for so long?”

“You have no reason to.”

Anna lifted her chin to gaze at him, taking in every inch of his face. The one she knew like her own reflection. “Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do,” he replied softly.

“Then,” Anna started, tears welling in her eyes and spilling over her cheeks, “how could you have stayed away from me for so long?”

“Because it was easier, and I am a coward.” His arms went around her, tentatively at first, and stayed there when she did not pull away.

“You’re all I have,” she whispered, and then she just cried, clutching his clothes in rough fistfuls.

Solas was silent for a time, holding her as she wept. It took a while for her to notice that he was crying, too. Tears tracked down his face as soft sobs escaped him. It comforted her a little, to know that he had been hurting as well. Though it didn’t change the fact that he had kept this from her in the first place. But this Solas, the one who was holding her now, he was the one she remembered as her nas’falon. And she had missed him with every fiber of her soul.

Anna detached herself from his grasp to examine him, to see his red-rimmed eyes and shuddering breath. All of these emotions were overwhelming, and it confused her. She wasn’t sure if she should kiss him for finally telling her the truth, or punch him for manipulating and ignoring her for years. Most likely the latter. But it didn’t really matter, anyway, because he was going to destroy the world tomorrow regardless.

And she still didn’t understand how he would do it.

“Solas,” she said, wiping her eyes. “How am I even supposed to help if you do fail? I don’t even know how the orb works. How can it destroy the Veil?”

“It is rather simple, actually.” Solas took a deep breath, composing himself. “You must—”

But Anna suddenly woke from something shaking her. Her entire cell was quaking, and she clutched her mattress defensively, glancing around in confusion.

A loud boom sounded above her. The base was under attack.


	14. Chapter 14

Anna felt the explosion reverberate across the stone, making the bars of her cell tremble. There was shouting, and more blasts erupted above. Panic rushed through her as she realized how confined she was.

No one was even in the dungeons. (If that was what this place was called—Anna hadn’t heard about them previously.) The area was abandoned, no guards or anything, and she was the only prisoner.

“Of fucking course,” Anna said aloud to herself. She started moving her cell’s furniture into a somewhat fort-like formation. It was the only protection she had.

Anna was probably going to die. She would die in this cell, either from an attacker, or rubble from the explosions above collapsing the building.

This is where it would end. Her sitting on a dirty floor with nothing but a straw mattress and some wood to protect her. Anna sighed. There was nothing else she could do but sit and wait. Perhaps the building collapsing would actually free her, or at least she could fight any attackers off if they came.

Her thoughts wandered to Solas, to words he had said the previous night. She wished he hadn't been cut off. He was finally going to tell her how that damned orb worked, and Anna still needed to stop it.

_If you attempt to destroy the orb, you will perish,_ he'd said. But how did he even know?

It wouldn’t be terrible to die, if Anna knew she was saving the world while doing it. What else did she have to live for, anyway?

But Anna needed to escape first. She looked around, noticing a loose nail on the floor. Could it be used as a lockpick?

If only she had paid more attention to all those times Sera had picked locks in front of her. Anna did the best she could, curving her hand through her cell’s bars to reach the lock. It was tricky to do from the other side. She jammed the nail into the lock, twisting it awkwardly in the hole. _Insufficient skill_ , she thought derisively.

It didn’t seem to be working, but she kept at it anyway. There wasn’t much else she could do.

But then a sudden pop sounded in the air, and Sylaise appeared in the room. “Fenedhis, you’re pathetic,” Sylaise said, slapping away Anna’s hand and unlocking the door with a key instead.

Anna gaped at her, confused. “You’re...freeing me?”

“Fen’Harel has fallen,” Sylaise said, pulling open the door. She gripped Anna’s arm roughly. “You must complete the ritual.”

_Fallen?_ “What—” Anna started, hardly able to process it. “I don’t even know how!”

“You will figure it out,” Sylaise snapped.

Sylaise stepped through the Veil, bringing them both to just outside the base. Then she slipped through the Veil two more times, and they arrived in a place Anna didn’t recognize. A small cliff of some sort, jutting out the bottom of a mountain, with trees all around them. Anna looked out and saw a meadow a short ways below, speckled with people fighting. A great battle ensued just beneath them.

Then she turned, and gasped.

Solas was on the ground, a bloody wound in his stomach, clutching uselessly to himself. He was covered with more blood than she'd ever seen on him. And beside him was Inquisitor Lavellan, who was similarly wounded… and missing her left arm.

“Solas!” Anna shouted.

He raised his gaze towards her, but didn’t seem able to do much more than that. He looked nearly dead.

“The orb is here, Suledin,” Sylaise said, shoving Anna in the opposite direction. It was then that Anna noticed the altar with the orb floating above it. There was red lyrium snaking out of the object, consuming the mountain behind it and holding the orb in the air. A bright light shot towards the sky from it, and Anna recognized the hole it was beginning to create. _Just like the Breach_.

“The ritual has been stopped. It needs your magic to control it again,” Sylaise explained, jabbing her in the back to move, but Anna went to Solas’s side instead.

“Solas!” Anna said, tears filling her eyes. She brought her hands to his wound, pouring healing spells into him. His skin was only starting to stitch itself back together when Sylaise yanked her away.

“We don’t have time for that!” the elf screamed. “Get to the orb!” Sylaise Stepped them both to just beside the altar, and Anna felt an overwhelming draw towards it.

She recognized her own magic within it, now in such close proximity. It felt familiar, like Solas’s aura would be when he was particularly affectionate. It made her chest ache, and she looked back towards Solas again. Her healing appeared to have helped him. The color had returned to his cheeks, and he breathed a bit better.

Anna looked at the Inquisitor on the ground, who seemed just barely alive. Then Anna’s eyes moved a little further, out towards the battle below them, and there were so many people she recognized. Ghilan’nain, Dirthamen, Falon’Din… was that June? And Dorian, Iron Bull, Sera—it was too much. They were fighting each other, _killing_ each other’s soldiers. This was what had become of them. All their work in the Inquisition… for this. 

She looked back towards Solas again, and he nodded at her, ever slightly. He wanted her to finish what he’d started.

Anna felt sick. She was just being used, like a tool. Everyone was always determining her life for her. Solas, Sylaise, even Falon’Din… Everything was according to their decisions.

What was the purpose of her life, if she did nothing to save all the people she’d grown to care for in this world? If she let them fall victim to the Veil’s destruction, to the Evanuris’ plans?

Solas had told her that destroying the orb could be dangerous. She would most likely die, and how it might affect the Veil and the others around her were unknown. But it was only a possibility. He didn’t actually know.

She didn’t think it would destroy the Veil. If the whole point of the orb was to remove it, why would destroying it do exactly the same thing? No, the answer was simple.

This orb needed to be destroyed, and Anna would probably die doing it. For real, this time. No coming back.

Maybe the Evanuris would find some other way to remove the Veil in the future, but this would put a major obstacle before them, and then the Inquisition and whoever else would have a fighting chance. Anna swallowed. _It’s okay. I’m okay_. This would be the most decent thing she’d ever do in her life.

“Hurry!” Sylaise shouted, but she could barely hear the elf. The air seemed to crackle with magic, whether from the orb or the battle beneath them, she couldn’t tell.

Anna turned back towards the hovering orb, and placed her hands on it. The power surged through her, coming alive through her fingertips and cutting out the rest of the world to silence.

And suddenly, Anna didn’t need any instructions at all. It was as intuitive as breathing, and not as frightening as she thought it’d be. It just felt like her own magic. Though the red lyrium surrounding it made her ache all the way down to her teeth, there was nothing strange about this power at all. She understood it.

It would be easy to remove the Veil here and now. She could feel the orb asking her to do it, to carry out its only function. Just one little push was all it needed.

With her hands still on the magical object, Anna looked around. The world changed before her. She could see into the Fade, see the physical realm without the Veil. And as she gazed at the scenery, mesmerized by its terrifying beauty, spirits began to surround her. They circled her, murmuring things she couldn’t quite hear, glowing in an effervescent white. And one came forward to speak.

“I have done as you asked,” Desire said. The spirit’s form materialized, floating just before her. But the spirit was no longer Desire, she realized. It had morphed into something else.

“I am here,” the spirit said. “Your Purpose. Our purpose is here.” It lifted its hands and touched Anna’s face, and she welcomed it. A warm glow enveloped her, and everything seemed to fall into place. For a moment, she felt at peace.

Then all the other spirits reached out, winding closer. They hummed, almost like chanting, but still she could not understand the words. The spirits touched her, stretching their hands towards her face. It was more than a simple caress—she could feel them connecting with her mind, her magic. Her spirit.

Anna felt like the world was expanding. Or maybe it was just she who expanded. But as the spirits began to whirl and whisper around her, faster and faster, she knew what she must do. _Take it._ She gripped the orb between her fingers, and pressed into it.

_Devour it_ , the spirits murmured against her mind.

The form of the orb started to change. It became smaller, shrinking infinitesimally into her palms, until it was nothing—it was _hers_. The power of it flowed through her, filling her up until every piece of her was tingling, just buzzing with energy. The magic moved faster and faster, until she no longer felt in control of it. The spirits were growing louder, surrounding her, shouting words too quickly for her to understand, save one thing: _Endure. You must endure._

Anna absorbed the last of the orb’s magic, and the spirits vanished. The Fade melted away, and she was returned to the waking world.

The red lyrium shattered in a loud crack. Anna fell to the ground, and everything seemed to vibrate. Her skin, her limbs—they felt aflame. She’d taken the power. All of it. And she could feel it, _taste_ all the different magic that was now within her. But it was too much. It felt like it was tearing her apart.

“No!” Sylaise screamed.

Anna felt too heavy. The world around her wouldn’t come into focus. Her vision had a strange haze about it, making everything look technicolored. She stumbled, attempting to stand, but fell again.

Sylaise was angry beyond consolation and stalked towards her. “You’ve ruined everything,” she roared, pointing her staff at Anna.

“No, Sylaise!” came Solas’s voice, and then he was there, one hand gripping her staff while the other still held his bloodied side.

“Silence, Fen’Harel!” Sylaise easily pushed him off, and he fell towards the ground. She straightened, pointing her staff at Anna again. “I am doing what you could never do,” she sneered at Solas. “You should be thanking me.”

“It is over, Sylaise,” said another voice. This one was Falon’Din’s, and he flashed into the space between Anna and Sylaise. “You have lost.”

“Don’t tell me you would protect that vile creature, Lethanavir!” Sylaise barked. “She has betrayed all of us!”

Falon’Din shrugged, swinging his staff in her direction. “And what did you really expect from the mate of Fen’Harel?” He smiled haughtily. “It seems you are the fool.”

“Fine.” Sylaise scowled. “I will destroy both of you, then.”

“Such confidence!” Falon’Din laughed, baring his teeth. “What makes you think you have the strength?”

“I have always been the strongest of us,” Sylaise said, readying her weapon. “The most cunning. The most powerful.”

“Oh? Such knowledge must have escaped me,” he said.

Sylaise snarled at him, and then Dirthamen shimmered into view, beside his twin soul.

“Dear Sylaise, I kindly ask you to step away from my nas’falon.” Dirthamen smiled.

“Dirthamen, hear reason!” Sylaise cried. “Falon’Din is protecting our enemy!” She flung her hand towards Anna on the ground.

“She’s no enemy of mine,” Dirthamen said, taking Falon’Din’s hand. The twins nodded at each other, some secret understanding passing between them—and they both dropped their staves to the ground. The two then raised their emptied palms, pointing it towards Sylaise.

“No—” she started, but it was too late.

A blinding light shot out of their hands, hitting Sylaise in the chest. She fell to the ground with a loud thud. 

“Sweet Sylaise,” Falon’Din said, looking over her. “Don’t you know better than to come between us?”

The elf was shuddering on the ground, still alive, but in obvious pain. “June! Ghilan’nain!” she called. “Andruil!”

“Ugh,” Falon’Din said. “When did Andruil get here?”

The twins flashed away, and the Evanuris then started fighting amongst each other, their power clashing loudly in the battlegrounds. It was chaos. Many of the mortals had begun to retreat once the orb had disappeared, and the hole in the sky had completely closed, but now they were running for their lives from the ancient elves.

Solas crawled towards his nas’falon. “Anna,” he said weakly.

Anna was writhing on the ground. She still felt too full—like magic was pouring out of her every pore, but she tried to contain it as best she could. She wasn’t sure what the outcome would be if she didn’t.

Solas gripped her hand. “Anna,” he said again. She looked at him, and her magic seemed to flow through their connected palms.

He took some deep breaths, blinking rapidly as his wounds quickly mended themselves from the new power. They both stared in wonder, until Anna winced in pain again. 

“You did it,” Solas whispered, touching a hand to her cheek. “You did what I could not.”

“Solas,” she gasped. “It’s too much—the magic is too much.”

He was touching her hair now. “It’s not meant for a single person to hold,” he said. “You need to release it.”

Anna shook her head, still breathing rapidly. “I don’t know if I can. I might kill everyone here!” _I have to endure_.

“I won’t let you die,” he said. Anna could feel him channeling as much magic from her as he could, but it wouldn’t be enough. She could feel her control of it slipping. The edges of her power about to burst. 

“G-get back,” she gasped. “It’s coming.”

“I will not leave you,” Solas said, gripping her hand.

Then the magic exploded out of her. A massive force pulsed through the ground and knocked everyone down in its wake. Solas was ripped away from her, and all the fighting elves around her fell.

Darkness descended upon her, and she stopped feeling anything at all.


	15. Chapter 15

“When we die, will our spirits live on, behind the Veil?” Anna had asked Solas, years ago.

“Yes,” Solas said. “Although, we may not recall our former lives.”

“That’s a little sad, isn’t it?” she said. “I’d hate to forget you.”

Solas smiled ruefully at her. “But you would not feel anything at all. You would not even remember forgetting me.”

“That’s even worse. I wouldn’t be me,” she said. “I never want to forget you, Solas. Not even a moment.”

  


* * *

  


Anna was not dead. She was aching all over, in ways she didn’t know she _could_ ache, but she was alive. And when she awoke, Solas was at her side, holding her hand.

With great effort, she opened her eyes and blinked at him. “Solas?” Anna said. She’d been sleeping in a bed, apparently, though she had no idea where or how she’d arrived in it.

He smiled. “Anna.”

“You’re alive.”

“Yes,” he said, still smiling warmly. “I am.”

“I’m alive,” she said, looking at her hand.

“You are.”

“Where are we?” They were in a room she didn’t recognize. A bedroom, plainly decorated with white linen and walls.

“We are at our base in the Anderfels,” he explained. “I took us here after the battle.”

She’d never been to this location before, but she felt relieved to be away somewhere safe. For now, at least. “Where are the Evanuris?” she asked. “What happened?”

“Sylaise, June, and Andruil are traveling to Avhenas… They will speak to Elgar’nan about what occurred with the orb.”

“Wait—but they’ll probably try to kill us,” Anna said, sitting up. “They’ll try to kill me!”

“Perhaps,” he said. “But they may find it difficult.”

She stared at him in confusion.

“I… I did not think a person could absorb that much power,” Solas said.

“I _didn’t_ absorb it, Solas. It exploded out of me, remember?”

“Yes,” he said, looking fond. “Some of it did. But not all.” He caressed her hand. “Anna… I believe you’re more powerful than any of us now.”

Anna blinked. “That can’t be right.”

“Do you not feel it?”

“I… maybe? I don’t know.” Her whole body was aching, and when she felt for her mana, it seemed different, like something foreign… but she was so tired, it was difficult to discern.

“I do. The Veil can hardly contain you,” he said, touching her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Anna,” he whispered. “For… everything.”

“Solas,” she said with a sigh, reaching out a hand. “Come closer.” She pulled on his sleeve, and he moved towards her. Solas shifted until he was sitting just beside her on the bed, and she reached up to touch either side of his face. “You are an idiot.”

“I know,” he said, looking solemn. “Can you ever forgive me?”

“You’ve been horrible to me.”

He nodded sadly. “I have.”

“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” Anna said.

Solas pursed his lips, looking downward.

“But… I’m willing to try,” she said. “It may not be for a long time, but I think I’d like to try.”

His eyes were shining, and he swallowed. “Thank you.”

Anna released his face. “Also, I kissed Falon’Din.”

Solas pulled away. “What?” he said, the shock quite apparent on his face.

“When I left, and he came to find me… We kissed.”

“I see,” Solas said, thinking over her words. His gaze moved away from her and towards the window in the room.

“Are you upset?”

He huffed a breath. “Does it matter?”

“Somewhat,” she said. “Solas—do you really still love me?”

“Yes.” His brow furrowed, looking back at her. “Of course I do.”

She felt her face warm as too many emotions warred within her. A simultaneous mix of anger and longing and sadness.

Solas sighed, studying her stricken face. “Anna. I will always love you,” he said. “I know how I have treated you, and… if you find comfort in another person, then I am glad of it.” He swallowed. “Although, I would have preferred someone else.”

Anna had to smile, she couldn’t help herself, when she thought of Falon’Din. “Hush, Solas,” she said. “I like him.”

Solas shook his head. “The things he has done, Anna. He has _slaughtered_ —”

“I know, okay? I know,” she said, holding up a hand to silence him. Then she sighed. “And… you’re probably right... He did sort of betray me, so I think it’s over between us anyway.”

“Betrayed you?” Solas asked, concerned.

Her throat tightened as she remembered. “He sold me out to Sylaise. That was how I got captured.”

Solas raised his eyebrows and scrunched his mouth, but didn’t say anything. At least he had the decency not to rub it in.

“I’ve missed you, Anna,” he said after a time, gazing at her with a smile.

Anna exhaled loudly. “Then you shouldn’t have stayed away from me for so long,” she chided. It still hurt. She didn’t know if the pain would ever leave her.

“I… I was ashamed of what I had become,” he said.

“Just _talk_ to me, okay? Tell me how you’re feeling, and what you’re planning, and just… just be honest with me.” She took his hand. “ _Trust_ me. That’s all I want from you.”

He squeezed her palm. “I will, from now on... I swear it.”

“You have to trust me,” Anna repeated. “I’m supposed to be the one you trust the most.” Anna could feel the tears start to prick her eyes.

“I do.”

“No, you don’t,” she said. “You never have. You wouldn’t have lied to me for so long if you did.”

“I…” Solas seemed to be having trouble searching for the words. “You’re right,” he sighed. “But I will, from now on.”

Anna wasn’t sure if she believed him, but she was glad he’d admitted to it, at least, even if it hurt. But things would never change between them if they didn’t face their issues.

Anna sighed. She pulled his tunic again until he laid beside her on the bed. “It feels like an eternity since you’ve been this close to me.”

His head moved to her shoulder. “Never again,” Solas said, reaching his arm across her torso to hold her. “Please believe me, vhenan.”

Anna closed her eyes at the Elvhen word, and the tears came suddenly and all at once. “Don’t… use that word, please,” she said, quiet teardrops tracking down her cheeks.

“As you wish,” he whispered.

Anna looked at him, her eyes still watering. “This is so hard,” she whispered. She reached towards his face, her thumb gliding down his temple. “I’m—I’m _angry_ with you, you know.”

“I know,” he replied, just as quietly.

“I… I don’t even know what to _say_ right now.”

“You do not have to say anything,” he said, pressing his forehead against hers. “You never need to speak to me again, if that is what you wish.”

“I think that’s impossible,” she murmured. “When I’m not with you, I feel so empty. I’ve _felt_ so empty, these past few years.”

“So did I.” He touched her hair. “I should not be forgiven, Anna.”

“I want to... and I don’t want to,” she cried. “I don’t even know if I _can_. But if I lose you again, I don’t think my heart can take it.”

He touched her cheek gently, as if she might break, but Anna was already broken. She hugged him then, holding him in a tight embrace. Her nose was against his neck, and it’d been so long since she’d inhaled his skin, that incredibly _Solas_ scent she adored, that she simply lost herself to tears. “You’re the worst,” she cried, helpless to do anything but weep.

“I am,” he agreed.

  


* * *

  


Anna didn’t have any actual injuries. She was just drained. After sleeping a while, she got up and walked around the base, which was really just a big house with random elves running around.

The organization was in chaos with the Evanuris split up. None of them had died during their battle—Evanuris were too difficult to kill. Instead, Andruil, June, and Sylaise had gone to Avhenas, and Falon’Din, Dirthamen, and Ghilan’nain stayed behind at the Tevinter base. Apparently, Ghil had switched sides to fight with the twins as well.

Ghilan’nain had sought Anna out in the Fade to tell her. “I realized that… If you were risking so much, risking _everything_ to save these quicklings…Then maybe I had more to learn about them. Maybe I had more to understand about this new world,” she’d said to Anna in a dream.

Even the Inquisitor had survived. That elf was like a cockroach with all she could live through. Lavellan claimed she wouldn’t try to attack them again—that she saw how Anna had saved them all. But perhaps Lavellan was just scared of Anna now, too.

Anna was a force to be reckoned with. Solas was right. Not all the magic had left her in that explosion… In fact, it didn’t feel like _any_ of it had. The spirits, whatever they had done, had somehow made it possible for her to hold much of the orb’s power. And whatever they did also cleared away the taint of red lyrium, until all that remained was the clean, strong power of the Evanuris and the Veil.

Solas had gained some power, too, when he’d channeled it from her, but nowhere near what Anna could wield. She discovered she had complete command over the Veil. One twist of her hand, and it could be gone if she wanted. Solas had never seen such control, how she could shape it to her liking in the waking world. Anna could thin a spot right before her, stretching it so fine that the green of the Fade shined through, then snap it back to normal like nothing at all.

“What will you do with this power?” Solas asked.

“Probably nothing.” Anna shrugged. “The Veil is disappearing on its own, Solas.”

He hummed. “Perhaps we could thin it faster,” he suggested. “Like the original plan.”

Anna eyed him. “I’ll think about it.”

Solas was trying his best to be in her good graces again, and would not stop pestering her. A part of Anna delighted in having him in her life once more, wanting to be by her side, but she still hadn’t forgiven him.

The painful memories of his cruel treatment would strike her at the most random of times. Anna had to frequently tell Solas to leave. It was exhausting, and wearing away at her. Yet she knew she would need to forgive him, eventually, as they were bound to each other for eternity. Her heart felt in perpetual turmoil.

It also didn’t help that whenever there was a moment’s peace, when she’d convince Solas to leave her alone, that her thoughts would wander to Falon’Din.

Anna kept recalling how he’d protected her during that battle, although Falon’Din probably hadn’t needed to (as powerful as she was). She thought to visit him in the Fade, but then she remembered his betrayal, the coldness of his back as he walked away from her with Sylaise. It still hurt to think of it, embarrassingly enough. She should not care about him. (But she did.) (So very much.)

In the end, it didn’t matter, because he came alone to their base in the Anderfels, several days later.

“The great Falon’Din has arrived,” one of the Dalish agents told her, looking a little dazed. “He’s waiting in the back garden.”

“He’s just a person,” Anna told the agent, annoyed by the usage of _great_. “Don’t forget that.”

The elf nodded and hurried away.

Anna rushed downstairs despite herself, too eager for her own good, and she soon found the Friend of the Dead in the small garden that was behind the house. Seeing him made her stomach twist with nerves, though she admonished herself instantly for it. _He has hurt you_ , she reminded her heart. _And you are powerful._

Falon’Din’s back was to her as he inspected some flowers, which she tried not to find endearing. He looked… injured. A bit hunched over, and favoring one of his legs over the other.

“Is that you, Suledin?” he asked. “Or has some other nug-like creature come to lurk in my shadow?” He turned to her, and her eyes widened when she saw how ghastly he looked. Falon’Din was somehow impossibly paler, and there were dark circles beneath his eyes. All of his features seemed sullen… Even his hair looked a little limp.

“What happened to you?” Anna asked.

He narrowed his eyes. “You did this, Suledin.”

Anna took a step back. “No, I didn’t.”

“When you released that power, it wiped out everything in its path,” he said. “And the damage… even our healing magic could not help it. You were lucky only Evanuris were near you. I don’t think mortals could have taken it.”

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

Falon’Din shook his head. “I know you could not control it,” he said quietly.

“Let me at least try to help,” Anna said, approaching him. She hovered her hand over his arm and poured magic into him. She had an overabundance of it, anyway. Falon’Din closed his eyes as she did so, and she saw the color return to his face.

He stepped away from her. “Fenedhis,” he said, rotating his shoulder. “You really are powerful.”

“Did it work?”

“Y-yes,” he stammered in surprise. “It did.”

A silence settled between them. The wind blew delicately in the garden, and a few butterflies fluttered by the flowers.

“You betrayed me,” she said at last.

“I didn’t, actually.”

Anna gave him a look. “No. You did,” she said, shaking her head. “And it broke my heart, Athim. You betrayed me when I trusted you the most.” Her voice went quiet at the end, and a lump grew in her throat, the sting of tears threatening to emerge. She sounded so incredibly _weak_.

Devastation fell over his face. The color drained from him again, his brow knitting with worry and eyes growing large. “Will you allow me to explain?” Falon’Din asked gently. 

Anna nodded, looking away from him towards the ground.

“When we arrived at the base, and Sylaise came for us—I saw that she would not believe us to be allies,” he said. “So I pretended to still be on their side, because we would be useless if we were both imprisoned.” He sighed. “I would have signaled you in some way, but it seemed too risky. Then we were attacked, and there wasn’t any _time_.”

Anna crossed her arms, taking a deep breath. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“I have no evidence,” Falon’Din said simply. “You only have my word.”

“You know, Falon… I’m really tired of the Evanuris. I’m tired of the lies and games you all play.”

“I’m not playing a game,” he contended quietly.

“Then why are you here?” Anna asked, tilting her head.

Falon’Din sighed. “You cannot guess?”

“I don’t want to.”

“I…” he began, “wanted to see if you were all right.”

“Well, I’m fine, see?” she said, spreading her hands. “Not a scratch on me.”

“That isn’t what I mean,” he said, stepping closer to her. He reached for her hand, and she let him take it. “Are you all right?” he asked softly, looking straight into her eyes. His fingers curled around hers.

“I think so,” she said, glancing away. “But I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve fully processed everything yet.”

Falon’Din nodded, and then he pulled her into a sudden embrace. Anna practically collapsed into him. She pressed her face into his shoulder and let his arms circle her.

“I was so frightened,” he murmured, holding her tight. “You were gone when I awoke. I thought you had died in the explosion.” He withdrew a little to look at her. “You seem so delicate… but you aren’t, are you?” He smiled. “You’re stronger than all of us.”

“I don’t feel very strong.” She felt like she’d been beaten down to nothing. It was not all the new magic she felt—No, the power seemed to energize her, if anything. But she was so exhausted by the last few weeks, the last few _years_. And now Solas was treating her as he used to… Anna should feel relief. She should be happy to have him back, in a way. But all she felt was tired. Tired of being pulled around by him and everyone else.

Falon’Din swallowed. “I sense them, Anna,” he said quietly. “The spirits you’ve touched.”

“They did something to me,” she said, staring at her empty hand. Anna pulled away, and he released her. “It’s not quite possession, but it’s… something else. Like they enhanced my spirit somehow.”

“I can sense that as well,” he said. “They can touch our minds, sometimes, if they find you are worthy. It alters your spirit. Makes you more like them, like pure magic.” He examined her carefully. “Those spirits were clever. Not even the corruption of the orb could harm you like this.”

“What do you think it means?”

“I think you were meant to save the world, Anna.”

“But I thought you said we aren’t meant for anything?”

He laughed breathily. “You’re right. I did say that,” he said. “I suppose I mean… the spirits entrusted you with this power to save them. To save everyone.”

Anna hummed. She thought of Desire, finding its purpose in her. She tried to listen for the spirit, to see if it was hidden somewhere within her, but found nothing. Just this strange, new magic. Were the spirits right to trust Anna? She now had more power than anyone deserved. 

“What will you do now?” he asked.

Anna lifted a palm, conjuring a ball of fire. It changed to all sorts of colors, flickering from blue to violet to green to yellow. She’d never seen fire do something like that before, and judging by his expression, he hadn’t either.

“I think I’m going to have a talk with your lethallen.” Anna extinguished the flame. “They should meet the new me.”

“I agree,” he said, reaching for her hand again and lifting it to his lips. He placed the softest kiss upon her knuckles. “I should thank you, Anna. I would not have had the courage to stand up to them if it weren’t for you. I never thought I had the right after all the death and decimation I’ve caused.”

“That was a long time ago,” she said.

“If only time would lessen the harm.”

“I think it does, when you continue to do better and atone,” Anna said. When he said nothing, she added, “Thank you for fighting them. And for… trying to protect me. It must have been hard to go against your brethren. You’ve all been together for so long.”

“If you are referring to some sort of emotional toll, then no,” Falon’Din said. “It was not difficult. I hate every one of them.” He smiled a little.

Anna returned a smile, giving his face a once-over. She’d missed him. And he could be lying about the betrayal, but she didn’t think he was. Anna felt she knew him now; that she could see the moments when he was Athim and those when he was Falon’Din. And right now, he was Athim.

“Athim,” she said.

“Yes?” he asked, brow creasing with concern.

“Don’t betray me again.”

“I didn’t—I wouldn’t,” he asserted, gripping her hand. “Anna, I swear it.”

“Okay,” she said, eyeing his worried expression. Anna lifted her hand to cup his face. “I believe you.”

“Thank you,” he said, sounding relieved. He placed his hand over hers, the one upon his cheek, and he turned his head to kiss her palm. “It felt awful, you know. I didn’t want to do it.”

A corner of her mouth curled upwards as a rush of affection swelled within her. “This is why plans are important, Athim. You can’t just run headfirst into everything.”

He smiled. “It seemed to resolve in the end.”

“Because I did all the work,” Anna replied. They stood just beside each other, but she leaned towards him anyway.

“Yes,” he agreed, eyes trailing downwards as he shifted closer, “but where would you be without me?”

“Where, indeed,” Anna murmured, looking into his eyes. For the first time, she noticed they were brown, and they crinkled at the ends when they gazed back at her. Anna lifted her fingers to his cheekbone, feeling along the smooth curve of it. Then she brought her lips to his, just barely brushing against them.

His breath caught at the touch, a little gasp escaping him, and he pressed his mouth closer. His lips were so soft as he kissed her, brimming with tenderness, and perhaps a little needy, too. Anna’s arms went around his neck, and his hand went to her jaw, and she wondered why she’d bothered talking at all. They should have just been doing this.

Everything felt better when she was kissing him. Her heart felt lighter, her body more alive. It was like the world might actually be peaceful, and maybe she didn’t have to be so sad all the time. Maybe it was okay to just _be_.

Maybe she was okay after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The spirit-touching-Anna thing is inspired by the Seekers being touched by a Spirit of Faith while Tranquil, thus giving them their abilities. And Seekers are also immune (or at least very resistant) to red lyrium. Hope that makes sense (and if it doesn't, well... it's MAGIC)!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some sexual content in this chapter, which will be marked with “~ • ~ • ~ • ~” when it begins. The content goes until the end of the chapter, so feel free to skip that last part if you’d like. (It isn’t very explicit, however.)

“Would you like to eat something?” Anna asked, breaking their kiss, and thoroughly confusing Falon’Din. She wasn’t sure how long he’d traveled to come see her, and perhaps he was hungry. He’d been kissing her so senseless she’d nearly forgotten where she was. They were still in the garden, pressed up against a wall and probably scaring any other elves away. 

He blinked at her, as if waking from a haze, a flush on his cheeks and his lips reddened from hers. “Is all you ever wish to do with me is eat?” Falon’Din asked quietly. His voice was like gravel, in a way that made her shiver.

“What else do you have in mind?” Anna smiled.

“Is there somewhere we can be alone?” he murmured, pressing a kiss into the corner of her mouth.

The question made her heart stutter with excitement. She saw the desire in his half-lidded eyes, which was probably a mirror to her own expression. It’d been so long since she’d invited someone to her bed. Anna wanted to devour him. 

“Yes,” she said, taking his hand.

Anna led him back to the room she’d been staying in. This house was relatively large. Three stories tall, though each of the rooms was a bit compact. Anna walked them to her bedroom on the second floor, and giggled as she opened the door, smiling back at Falon’Din. But she froze when she saw Solas was inside of it. He was sitting at a table in the corner of the room. She’d forgotten he was even in the building at all. Of course he was here, though. He never left her alone these days.

“Anna, I have just—” Solas said, but startled when he saw Falon’Din. “Lethallin.”

“Harellan,” Falon’Din sneered, already on edge.

Solas looked between the two of them, his eyes honing in on their entwined hands. Her pulse raced as she stared back at her nas’falon. Anna felt like she’d been caught, though she’d done nothing wrong. Solas had told her he understood, that she could be with whomever she wished. Still though, Anna tried to pull her hand away, but Falon’Din only gripped tighter.

“Anna,” Solas started again, “has he not recently… betrayed you?” He asked it as if Falon’Din wasn’t standing right there.

“Um,” Anna said, feeling her cheeks warm, “we’ve cleared that up now.”

“I see.” Solas’s brow furrowed.

Anna stepped forward, pulling her hand from Falon’Din’s. “Would you mind… leaving, Solas? I’d like some privacy, please.”

Solas hesitated. “May I have a word with Falon’Din first?”

Falon’Din exhaled loudly. “If you have something to say, then speak,” he said, his tone acidic.

“Very well,” Solas said, his jaw clenching. “Thank you for choosing our side, lethallin. Though I must caution how foolish it would be to betray us, if you ever choose to.”

Falon’Din crossed his arms. “Understood,” he replied.

Solas made no motion to leave, and instead continued to scrutinize them. “You have grown close to one another.”

“And?” Falon’Din said, unaffected and leveling his gaze at him.

“And,” Solas continued, his eyes narrowing as he moved towards him, “if you attempt to harm or betray Suledin again, I will not spare you.”

Anna flushed with embarrassment. It wasn’t like she was some helpless damsel. Especially now, with her new power.

“I could say the same of you,” Falon’Din spat, disgust written across his features.

“She is my nas’falon—” Solas said.

“Is she?” Falon’Din sneered back. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Solas glanced at Anna again before looking to Falon’Din and exhaling. “You did not even ask my permission before pursuing her.”

Anna’s eyes went wide, her mouth dropping open in shock. She had _not_ expected him to say that. She couldn’t believe he’d even dare to.

Falon’Din rolled his eyes. “I did not see it as necessary, given your treatment of her,” he said.

Solas glared at him, taking a few deep breaths.

“I thought you were okay with this, Solas,” Anna said. “You told me you... understood.”

“I—” Solas fisted his hands, his brow creasing. “In Elvhenan, it was customary to ask all parties’ consent.” He looked at Falon’Din accusingly. “You know this.”

“You’ve surrendered all privileges,” Falon’Din scoffed.

“Twin souls are not something to _surrender_ ,” Solas said, looming closer, the tension in the room rising with every footfall. Anna could feel the edges of his aura start to flicker.

“It is in this circumstance,” Falon’Din fumed. “I have _never_ treated Dirthamen like you’ve treated her. I would not even think to! It is atrocious.”

“I—” Solas’s eyes darted between Anna and Falon’Din. “I had my reasons.”

Anna looked towards the floor, feeling fresh pain tear at her. _Reasons_. Even though Anna had all the reason in the world to ignore Solas now, she still couldn’t, not completely. How had he been able to? It made her feel that much more pathetic.

“There is no justifiable reason. Not one,” Falon’Din said. “You sicken me.”

Solas’s face colored with anger. “And what makes you so righteous, so mighty?” he asked, chest rising as he glared at Falon’Din. “Was it the bloodshed from the thousands of innocents, slaughtered in your vanity? Was it the countless corpses filling your temple?” Solas was practically snarling, and he stalked even closer. “Was it the death of Mythal?”

Falon’Din swallowed, saying nothing and glancing away. Anna stepped between them.

“Solas,” she cut in, “shut up.”

“Anna—”

“Don’t talk to him like that.”

“Anna, he _murdered_ you right in front of me!” he said, gesturing wildly to the elf. “How can you even trust him?”

“I—I’ve forgiven him for that,” she said.

“ _I_ haven’t!” Solas was incredulous.

Anna let out a slow exhale. “Let’s discuss this outside, Solas,” she said, pointing to the door. “Just you and me.”

Solas stared at her, somewhat bewildered, before turning and heading out the door.

Anna looked at Falon’Din. “I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Falon’Din sighed, but nodded, and she followed Solas out.

“Solas,” she said, once she was outside the room. His back was against the wall of the hallway, and he leaned his head against it, eyes closed. The air felt heavier in the hall, as if his magic was suffocating it.

“I know that you hate him,” Anna began. “For many valid reasons, too. But I don’t want you talking to him like that, and you can’t… you can’t try to come between us.”

Solas exhaled. “But _why_ him?” he asked quietly, opening his eyes to gaze at her. 

“I don’t know,” she said. “It just happened.” Anna shrugged. “He was there for me, and you weren’t.”

Solas swallowed, his expression turning heartbroken.

“You’ve hurt me, Solas,” Anna said. “And Falon’Din is right. You didn’t have to. You _had_ a choice.” Her hand went to her forehead. “You say there wasn’t another way, but there was. There definitely was. But you still chose to leave me.”

“Anna,” he said, distraught, “I understand how you feel, and I would like to—” 

“I don’t care!” she exclaimed. “I don’t care what you want right now. I just need space. From you, for however long. And right now... I want to be with Falon’Din.”

Solas’s brow creased and he looked away, mouth pinched into a frown. “But he’s…”

“An idiot? I know,” Anna said, walking closer. “But you all are. You’re all idiots and assholes, and weird and messed up in some way.” She sighed, looking at his crestfallen form. “So maybe you should stop pretending like you’re any different?”

“You… You think I’m the same as him?”

“In some ways, yes,” Anna said, leaning against the wall like he was. “In other ways, no. I know what he’s done. I know it’s disgusting and horrible, but… he isn’t that person anymore.”

“But how do you _know_ this, Anna?” Solas pleaded. “How do you know that he has changed?”

“I don’t,” she said. “I just know what I feel, and I trust him.”

“What if it’s a ploy? Some scheme from the Evanuris?” he argued.

Anna sighed. “It’s okay, Solas.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “I get that you’re wary of him, but… I’m really powerful now, remember? I can protect myself.”

“Yes,” he said, a small smile appearing, and the tension seemed to ease from him somewhat, his aura softening. “You are right. But please, promise me that you will be careful.”

“I’ll be careful,” she said. “You have to trust me, remember?”

Solas swallowed with a nod. “Anna, I… apologize for my outburst. You had caught me completely off-guard. I did not even know he was here.” Solas sighed. “I—I thought it was over between you both.”

“I know, and I get it. Just… don’t do it again.”

“Yes,” he said. “I won’t.”

Anna smiled, pushing herself off the wall. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Solas nodded. “Come find me, if you… need me. For any reason.”

“I will,” she said.

He sighed again, then turned away from her and left. Anna stared after him a few moments, watching his back disappear down the stairwell. It pained her somewhat, to be tough on him like this. She was so accustomed to following everything Solas said, to letting him make all the decisions. But that had obviously put an imbalance in their relationship, and it needed to change. _She_ needed to change. They both did.

Anna sighed and went back into the room. Falon’Din had sat himself on the bed, waiting with his arms folded across his chest.

“Well,” Falon’Din said, “have you come to say farewell? Has he convinced you to desert me?”

“No,” Anna smiled, “unless that’s what you want, of course.”

“Absolutely not,” he replied, his lips curling in turn. “I would not dream of it.”

Anna moved to sit beside him on the bed. “Athim,” she said, “I’m sorry about what happened. He shouldn’t have said those things about you.”

“It is not your fault in the least.” He placed his hand over hers, where it rested on her knee. “And besides, he is right. I cannot claim any higher moral ground with my history.”

“Yes, but it’s different now. You’re different.”

“Am I?” he said to the floor.

“I think so,” she said. “From what you’ve told me, and how you’ve acted.”

He was silent a few moments. “Thank you,” he said, squeezing her hand, “for seeing so much in me.”

A small part of Anna warned her that she was too naive, and Solas was right. That Anna really didn’t know Falon’Din as well as she thought, and one day he might return to his former, terrible self. She’d seen pieces of it slip out, like during their fight with Dorian, and who knows how much of that darkness still lingered inside him. This fondness for Athim was probably clouding her judgement… yet she couldn’t bring herself to care. 

What he had done for her outweighed all doubt. Athim had brought her back from the edge of despair. When she was with him, Anna felt like herself again, instead of the sad, twisted version she’d been for so long.

The truth was obvious. Anna had an unbearably strong affection in her heart for Athim now. One that felt achingly like love. It was scary, in a way, since she never thought she could feel like that for anyone but Solas, yet it exhilarated her, too.

“Athim, do you think… you can love two people at the same time?” she asked in a soft voice.

“You can love many people simultaneously,” he answered just as softly.

“But can you be _in_ love with multiple people? I just… I always thought there was only space for one.”

Falon’Din bit his lip, and his cheeks flushed a light pink. “Anna, do you mean…”

“I don’t know what I mean.” Anna exhaled and covered her face in embarrassment.

“You don’t need to.” Falon’Din wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. “There isn’t an answer for everything,” he said. “Sometimes… the course of life simply takes unexpected turns.”

“Sometimes you sound kind of wise, Athim.”

“I am quite old.”

“I know.” Anna laughed a little and relaxed. It was a bit of a marvel, how he could ease her so effortlessly. “I’m really glad you came.”

“Where else would I be?”

She poked him. “You’re always coming to rescue me.”

“Rescuing? Hardly.” He chuckled, leaning close to her ear. “Anna, you never need rescuing. Only some occasional encouragement.”

She smiled, feeling all sorts of emotions well up within her chest. “Maybe there’s something else I need, then,” Anna said. She lifted her chin to kiss him, which he eagerly reciprocated. But he was smiling too much, his lips going taut. She laughed, then so did he, before he slated his mouth against hers again.

It was easy to forget everything when all she needed to focus on was Athim. When her senses could center on him; the way he smelled, tasted, felt. How he embraced her, like every part of him was involved, clinging to her as if she was his last breath. She melted in his arms, and lost herself there.

  


~ • ~ • ~ • ~

  


Anna could do this forever. Touching him, kissing him. She loved that she could express how much she cared about Athim through her hands and lips. She thought she could feel it in the way he touched her, too. Like every caress seemed to carry a tenderness with it, an ardency which consumed her.

Their mouths moved slowly. At first. But eventually, she wanted more, and kissing would not suffice. She craved him—all of him. 

Anna needed to feel his skin, but there were too many barriers of clothing between them. She had to pull away to tear her shirt over her shoulders and toss it aside.

Falon’Din arched a brow.

“Is this okay?” she asked, a self-consciousness rising within her, suddenly feeling too exposed.

“Yes,” he answered (quite hoarsely). He brought a finger to her breast band, ghosting it along the hem.

Anna removed the band, untying it slowly from her chest, and he watched her, breath shuddering slightly as he gazed at the revealed skin. When she dropped it to the floor, he pulled his own tunic off.

Her eyes explored the lines of his chest, roaming over the flesh and lithe muscle. She brought her hand right down the center, touching the dip between his pecs that eventually connected with his navel.

Athim took her hand and tugged her closer as he fell back onto the bed, and she hung above him.

“Have you been with a human before?” she asked in a whisper, her hand brushing against his shoulder.

“No,” he answered, smiling. “Should I have any concerns?”

She returned a smile. “I was just curious.”

“Perhaps you should stop being curious and kiss me again,” he said, reaching for her. She bent down to meet his mouth.

They stayed like that a while, just kissing, with his arms winding around her, holding her to him. She loved feeling his skin against her own, alighting her senses and heating her to the core.

Anna felt his hardness straining against her, and he made a little wanton moan from the friction between them. The sound drove her wild. And then she couldn’t wait any longer.

Anna began to untie the laces of his trousers, while she tasted the skin of his neck. He seemed to get the idea quickly, and pulled at her own.

Soon they were kicking off their pants, and then the two were fully naked. They just sat beside each other for a moment, staring and absorbing every inch.

He ran a hand along her side. “You know, when I saw you in that gown… I would have taken you then and there, if you let me.”

Anna had to pause. “Are you talking about that dumb masquerade?” she asked, raising a brow and thinking back to it. “You’re kind of perverted, Athim.”

“I’ve thought about this for far too long,” he murmured, touching the curve of her hip.

“Oh, yeah? How much?” She leaned closer to mouth kisses along the line of his jaw. “How long?”

“Constantly,” he breathed. “Since the moment we met.”

“You’re exaggerating.” Anna moved her leg to straddle his lap. She hovered just over where he wanted her most.

“I wish I was,” he said, closing his eyes. His hands trailed up her thighs.

“The secrets you keep, Athim,” she hummed, pressing her lips to his. “Why wouldn’t you try this sooner, then?”

“I thought you were happy.” He kissed her cheek, then her neck. “And you never seemed interested.”

“I guess I wasn’t,” she replied. “But I am now.”

“Yes,” he said, sucking the skin of her throat, hands clutching her back. “ _Yes_.”

“Are you ready?” she whispered into his ear, kissing the lobe.

“ _Please_ ,” he answered, practically a beg.

Anna lowered herself, connecting them, until he filled her completely.

“Fenedhis,” he moaned, trembling a little.

It was perfect. He was perfect. The way they moved together—like a flawless rhythm, some song she knew by heart. It felt overwhelming. It seemed to burn and soothe her all at once.

“Can you feel it?” he asked, holding her to him, pressing his forehead against hers. “Your spirit touching mine?”

“I—I don’t know. Maybe,” she gasped. It was hard to focus on anything but the sensation of him inside her.

“I can feel it,” he whispered, his eyes closed. “It’s all I feel.”

“You’re so... sensitive to spirits, aren’t you?”

He didn’t answer, just thrusted into her, going deeper, until neither of them could speak any longer. Until they were both crashing over the edge. And Anna thought, for one small moment, that he shined just as brightly as he did in the Fade. That maybe his spirit, his very soul, was showing after all.

When they were finished, Anna laid beside him in the quiet of the room, and darkness had settled around them. Her head rested in the crook of his neck, and she felt sleepy and more content than she had in eons.

He traced a finger along her shoulder, his eyes shimmering as he admired her in the dark. Athim pressed his lips to her ear.

“Anna,” he whispered, “I love you.”

She barely registered it, as tired as she was. But something stirred within her. Something like happiness. “I love you, too, Athim.”

And it was true, remarkably so, that she had fallen in love again. He made her feel alive.


	17. Chapter 17

_A few months later._

There was an undeniable tranquility in Avhenas. The place was constantly busy—elves scurrying every which way for their endless tasks. But it was the type of preoccupation that came from a thriving community, instead of the panicked chaos and scheming she’d grown accustomed to in Thedas. Avhenas had that perpetual bustle of people working towards a common goal: shaping their new home.

Anna had arrived a day prior, and traveling by ship had taken much longer than she’d remembered. She could have easily slipped through the Veil to Avhenas instead, but Anna found herself enjoying the slowness of life, much more than she ever had before. She liked watching the waves of the ocean, both tumultuous and peaceful alike, and listening to the (often mindless) chatter of Athim as they’d sailed. He made everything better, although sometimes the journey really was just as lovely as the destination.

Currently however, Anna was nestled in a little house on the outskirts of Avhenas, and she had a very happy ancient elf beside her. The sun was starting to peek its way into her line of vision, as it was well into the morning, but she decided to ignore it. Her bed was too comfortable, and kissing Athim was much more preferable to anything else the day could offer.

Anna liked it when they could take their time exploring one another. She kissed him in a slow, languid manner, and delighted in the little sounds of pleasure that would escape him from time to time. Her arms clutched him tightly, as if he were the only thing anchoring her to the world.

“What are you thinking?” he asked against her lips. His eyes had a sleepy daze to them, like he might still be dreaming.

“I’m not thinking about anything,” she answered. “Just you.”

“Good,” Athim replied. He kissed her forehead and drew her even closer then. Anna pressed her nose to his neck, inhaling the scent of his skin, and sighed happily. Not every day was like this, so lazy and indulgent, but she relished them when they came.

“We should get dressed, however,” he said eventually.

“Why? There’s no hurry.” Anna kissed the spot just under his ear. “Let’s just do this some more.”

“As tempting as that is,” Falon’Din said, his mouth quirking into a smile, “I am actually very eager for today.”

“You are?”

“I have been waiting millennia for that tyrant to be put in his place,” he said. “And now _you_ are the one to do it… My love, you have no idea how gratifyingly vindictive it feels.” He kissed her cheek, the glee just radiating off of him.

Anna laughed a little. “Fine,” she agreed, pulling away from him. “Go tell Dirthamen I’m ready, then. I’ll meet you there.”

He leaned down for one last kiss, and stood to put his clothing on. “Try not to miss me too much,” he said, looking back at her.

“Too late,” she replied, grinning.

He rolled his eyes, but smiled and left.

  


* * *

  


Anna soon got herself up and made her way through Avhenas. The elves had built it up considerably in the last few years. The growing community sprawled throughout a forest, one with great trees and old ruins that reminded her of the Emerald Graves.

Anna understood why the Evanuris had chosen such a place. They’d built Avhenas upon the aged foundations, their original purpose long lost to time. Not elven in origin, but so ancient there were none that remembered its name. Many places across the sea were like this; mysterious and arcane. Old magics lay beneath the stone, humming with forgotten spells. Anna could feel them, her newfound power answering their call. They wanted to be remembered.

She thought the elves could feel it too, this magic around them. It seemed to connect with them, even the non-mages, perhaps stirring the power hidden within themselves, waiting to emerge...

Returning to Avhenas was a welcome change of scenery. The elven haven had flourished in their absence, and she had to give Morrigan credit that the witch was excellent at running the place. Anna thought it might have been what the Dales were like, long ago. With most of the Dalish clans united, and many liberated city elves as well, Avhenas felt like the beginnings of a new era for elves.

Anna soon found Solas in a garden, huddled over a book he was reading as he sat on a ledge against a column. The sunlight filtered through the trees behind him onto his shoulders, and he turned a page, looking thoughtful. She found the scene oddly adorable.

It was times like these that she could remember what it was like to love him completely—to not feel that ache of betrayal ghosting in her heart. The pain was less frequent now, though not gone completely.

“Solas,” she said.

He met her eyes and smiled. “Hello,” he replied.

“I’m ready,” Anna said. “Are you?”

“Yes,” he answered. He closed the book and flicked his hand. The book vanished into thin air, and Solas stood. Anna turned towards the path again, and they began to walk together.

“Sleep well?” he asked.

“Very,” she said, thinking of Falon’Din. “You?”

“Fine,” he said. “It is pleasant to be in Avhenas again.”

Anna looked at the peaceful, happy elves around them. “It has gotten pretty homey here now, hasn’t it?”

He chuckled. “It has.” His hand dropped to his side and lightly brushed against her fingers. It sent a thrill up her arm, and she wasn’t sure if he’d done it on purpose or not. But she enjoyed the touch, and Anna was in a good mood this morning, so she wrapped her hand around his. Solas shuddered a breath out and looked away from her, but he returned an affectionate squeeze to her palm.

She was still getting used to touching him. Anna barely did it, and he never initiated the contact because she’d asked him not to. But she still wanted to try—when she felt up to it, that is. Falon’Din didn’t understand this behavior at all.

 _You should wait a century at the least,_ he’d said. _You are far too forgiving, Anna_.

Maybe that was true, but Athim had no idea how empty it made her feel not to touch Solas, not to connect with him in some form. Being ignored by him for so long had damaged her spirit in ways Falon’Din would never understand, and she needed at least _some_ connection to her twin soul to sustain her. She’d lose herself without it.

And in a small way, she had been starting to forgive him. Solas had been nothing but sweet and accommodating to Anna in the last few months, and he wouldn’t even say a word when she spent all her time with Falon’Din. He was giving her the space she needed.

Anna and Solas would occasionally visit each other’s dreams as well, and have long conversations in the Fade. The two had a lot of catching up to do, after all. She felt the ties between them mending, slowly, though the wounds hadn’t left her quite yet. He didn’t have her trust, she wasn’t sure when or if that could happen, but Anna had missed him, and it felt _right_ to have him close to her again.

“Are you nervous?” she asked Solas.

He smiled at her. “Not with you here.”

Anna returned a smile and squeezed his hand. She felt the power course between their palms, in a way that only twin souls could, whispering against her skin. They’d be unstoppable together.

The two soon reached their destination, a building on the eastern edge of Avhenas, and Falon’Din and Dirthamen were waiting outside of it. 

“You took your time,” Falon’Din said, glancing briefly at Solas and Anna’s linked hands.

Dirthamen laughed and placed an arm over his twin’s shoulders. “Don’t mind him, Suledin,” he said. “He only wants your attention.”

Falon’Din smiled, and kissed Dirthamen’s cheek.

“Are they all in there?” Anna asked them.

“Yes,” Falon’Din said, still smiling. “They are expecting you.”

“Good.” Anna looked at Solas. “Let’s go.”

Solas nodded and held up his free hand. The door blew open, and inside, the rest of the Evanuris awaited them. Elgar’nan, Sylaise, Andruil, and June to be exact. And a smattering of other elven mages that Anna didn’t know.

“ _Now_ ,” Elgar’nan shouted, and all the elves pointed their staves at the two.

The Evanuris rushed them, throwing aggressive spells and shooting elements into the air. None of them landed on their targets, however. Anna had expected such a response, unfortunately, and she easily formed a barrier to protect them.

She raised a hand then, with Solas mirroring her stance, and together a great force from their palms pummeled their attackers until they flung into the wall behind them. The Evanuris groaned, clutching themselves on the ground, and she heard Falon’Din laughing behind her.

“What a waste of magic,” Anna chided. “We could have handled this like reasonable adults, you know.” Anna stepped closer to Elgar’nan. “So, All-Father, I take it you’ve heard my proposal?”

“Yes,” he rasped, his body curled into itself. 

“And will you agree to it, now that you know how useless it is to resist?” she continued, smirking at him.

Elgar’nan didn’t answer, and Anna sighed.

She turned to the others, looking at each of their faces on the floor. “The Veil will come down, as scheduled,” she said. “It will take centuries, but trust me, the wait will be worth it.” Anna smiled. “And if any of you try to speed it up in some way, or attempt some other destruction of any kind... I will find you, and I will kill you. Okay?”

Anna had never killed someone before, but for the good of the world and with these particular assholes… she thought it’d be fine.

“So what do you expect us to _do_ in the meantime?” Sylaise asked, quite annoyed.

Anna grinned. “What we were doing before—without all the Veil stuff, of course.”

“This is ridiculous,” Elgar’nan said, apparently having caught his breath again. He stood, his jaw clenched and hands going to fists. “I will not take orders from this _child_ ,” he spat.

Anna reached towards Elgar’nan and snapped the Veil around him. It crushed against his torso and lifted him in the air, which was somewhat unnecessary, but she liked the extra theatrics, and these Evanuris needed a lesson. It hardly took any effort, anyway. Nothing took much effort these days.

Elgar’nan began to choke, struggling for breath.

“You see,” she said, releasing Solas’s hand and walking towards the floating, floundering elf. “I’m actually more powerful than any of you now. So I really have no reason to listen to this bullshit.” She twisted her hand so that it released him before he turned too blue, dropping him to the floor with a dull thud. “Unless you have some other argument, of course.” Anna smiled.

Elgar’nan gasped, clutching at his freed neck. “No,” he coughed.

“Good,” she said, grinning. She looked at the others. “Let’s all live peacefully, shall we?” Anna looked back at Solas. “And make a better Elvhenan together.”

He smiled back, looking smug.

“Dear Suledin, I’d like nothing more,” Morrigan said, just now entering the room.

“Oh, Morrigan! It’s good to see you,” Anna said. “Would you take care of them for me?” she asked, nudging Elgar’nan with her foot.

“Of course,” Morrigan said, raising a brow at them. “We finally have someone with the power to enforce the countless tasks I have for them.”

“Thanks,” Anna replied, smiling. “I owe you one.” Then she turned towards the door, leaving the pathetic Evanuris still aching on the floor.

Truthfully, Anna could just snap her fingers and the Veil would be gone, but she knew how chaotic that would be. So instead, she’d thin it gradually, like Solas had originally wanted, and as the Veil got weaker, the elves would get stronger, and their connection to magic would return.

The Evanuris weren’t to be trusted, but they would still be useful for building Avhenas up, and uniting more elves. And Solas had even begun thinking about designing a new prison for the ancient gods, in case they grew out of hand again. For now though, Anna could handle their grumblings.

It felt good, to know the Veil would be gone eventually, once Thedas was ready. To know that _she_ was the reason it would be ready, the reason why the world would be right again, and the elves uplifted like they deserved. It felt good to have a purpose, but she knew she’d be okay when that was gone, too.

 _You have to endure_.

She did, and she would. Anna smiled, letting out a satisfied sigh. Yeah, it felt good.


	18. Epilogue

_Many months later._

“Why does the Fade even have rocks in it?” Anna asked. Her back was settled into Solas’s chest as they sat on the ground, relaxing against some misshapen boulder and staring out into the Fade together.

“I… have no idea,” Solas answered, smiling a little.

“I can’t believe you were able to separate the Fade from the world… How did you even figure it out?” One of his hands was on the ground, and she placed her own hand atop of his and entwined their fingers together.

“It took a great deal of research.”

“Such a nerd,” she teased, looking up at him.

He smiled and touched a lock of her hair, wrapping it around his finger.

“Did you ever think about me, when we were apart?” she asked.

“All the time.”

“Did you ever cry?”

“Yes,” he answered softly, sadly. She’d asked him this before, but he’d always indulge her with the answer. Anna pulled his hand up and held it to her heart, and his arm tightened around her. 

She watched the scenery and was silent for a while.

The past few months were filled with conversations like these. They used to only discuss the Evanuris—ways to counteract any possible retaliation—but lately, their discussions had drifted to something much more abstract, mundane even, and she’d rediscovered how she loved listening to his daily musings and telling him her own in turn.

These chats between them became a nightly occurrence, ones that Anna grew more and more excited for each time. She was still in Avhenas, keeping an eye on Elgar’nan, but Solas had gone back to Thedas with most of the other Evanuris to continue their work with the People.

She’d found herself missing him, so she sought Solas out in the Fade, and he would always meet her with a smile. Everything came easier in dreams. Talking to him, touching him, just being around him. It was a place she had full control of—even more control than him, now.

“Why is the Fade so _ugly_ in its natural state?” she started again eventually. “This creepy green and dull brown… and those spikey rocks. It looks so malevolent.”

Solas chuckled a little. “Beauty is subjective.”

She sat up and away from Solas, squinting at him. “Don’t tell me you think the Fade is _pretty_ like this.”

“I did not say that.”

“You were insinuating it.”

He laughed, incredulously. “Anna, I did not. I only said it to end the topic. Otherwise who knows how long you might have spoken of it.”

She smacked him on the shoulder, though with hardly any force. “You always get so defensive of the Fade. Did _you_ make it green?”

He smiled fondly. “You think I designed this place?”

“Well, you might have unconsciously. Maybe this is what your dreams looked like or something.”

“An intriguing theory, but I would have made it much more pleasing, I think.”

“Yeah.” Anna smiled. “You do have an artist’s eye, I suppose. It’d probably be a lot nicer.”

“Was that a compliment?” he asked, quirking a brow.

“Stop it, you know I love all your paintings.” Anna smiled at him, and he was smiling back. He looked very peaceful tonight. A sweet curl had been tugging the corners of his mouth since they’d met in her dream hours ago.

Anna felt happy, she realized. Just positively content. She lifted a hand to his cheek, cupping his face, and he leaned into it, sighing a little.

God, he was cute. And she loved him for it. Anna bit her lip, eyes wandering down his face. She wanted to kiss him, but they hadn’t kissed in years, and she felt strangely nervous.

Solas would never attempt a kiss now because she’d requested him not to, but she wondered if he even still thought about it. Sure, they would hold hands and hug quite often, however _kissing_ was on a whole new level of intimacy, one she wasn’t sure either of them were ready for.

Anna leaned closer to him, not too near, but infringing on the boundaries of his personal space nonetheless. The smile faded from his face, his eyes becoming larger, and she watched him swallow thickly. Watched the muscles of his throat tense from it. His tongue moved over his bottom lip, wetting it a little, and she felt mesmerized by the small motion.

“Anna,” he breathed, saying her name in a deep, rough tone. It sounded like a question and a warning and a plea all at once. It reminded her of their first kiss, so long ago now, his eyes holding that same simultaneous desire and reservation they had back then. Anna knew Solas tended to turn from things he wanted, out of repentance and self-reproach and everything that made him so tragically hopeless. A habit of his that both endeared and aggravated her.

Anna decided to try it. She moved forward, feeling exhilaration build in her chest when Solas drew closer as well. Her hand still touched his cheek, so she used it to pull him towards her until their lips met, and at last, she felt the softness of his mouth. Solas’s hands went around her immediately, holding her like he was afraid to let go.

The kiss was relatively chaste, just lips caressing each other, but it felt tender and affectionate, like Solas himself, and that was the best part. She didn’t realize until now how she’d yearned for it, how it seemed to ignite something so powerful and immense within her. Like her heart was being broken and revitalized at the same time.

Anna took a breath and withdrew just enough to place her forehead upon his. “I really missed kissing you,” she said, eyes closed.

He didn’t answer, and when Anna opened her eyes, she saw that he was crying. “Solas? Are you okay?”

He nodded, but then buried his face in his hands. A few more cries escaped him, small sobs that sounded like he was gasping. She put her arms around him, to comfort him in some way, and he moved his head to her shoulder. Perhaps she shouldn’t have kissed him after all.

“I… I never thought I would feel that again,” he said when he had calmed a little. His voice still quivered slightly.

“I understand,” she said, holding him closer.

“I did not think I deserved it. I _don’t_ deserve it.”

“Not everything has to be set in stone forever, Solas,” Anna said, her voice gentle. “How else would we move forward?”

He looked at her. “But you have him now. I thought you did not need me. For... that.”

Anna smiled, thinking of Falon’Din. “Yeah...” she said softly. “But it’s not an either-or thing. I’d like it to be more of a both thing—to be with you _and_ him, because you both are important to me. I just… I just needed time to feel close to you again.”

He was quiet a few breaths before asking, “Do you love him?”

Anna felt a bit taken aback that he would ask, and that he didn’t even know, after all this time. Solas usually avoided the topic of Falon’Din all together. His expression looked very serious, but at least he had stopped crying now.

“I do,” she said. “He makes me happy.”

“I am glad,” he replied, though sounding quite forlorn about it. “Anna, I… I have never stopped thinking of it. You, dying right before me. It placed a fear upon my heart that never seems to subside or lessen.” He exhaled. “I can never forgive what he did... And because of that, I could never even be his friend.”

Anna smiled a little. She felt touched that Solas would even think of becoming Falon’Din’s friend for her sake, even if he was unable to. That he was trying to put the past behind him.

Solas was traumatized. Falon’Din had done that. Had done it without even thinking it through, the foolish idiot. That elf always seemed to act before considering the consequences.

“I understand,” Anna said, “and it’s okay. I don’t expect you to. What he did… it was horrible. And it wasn’t even the first bad thing he’s done.” She looked into Solas’s eyes, smiling. “But I believe people can change, and grow and better themselves, and I think he has. I know he has.” She swallowed. “Solas, he tells me all the time how he regrets it. And so many of the spirits antagonize him for the killing he’s done. I wouldn’t say it’s been easy for him.”

“I see,” Solas said quietly. “He has never attempted to apologize to me. I did not think he regretted it.”

“He does,” she reaffirmed. She thought it was strange that Solas would think Falon’Din would be with her and _not_ regret her death. But she supposed Solas really thought quite low of the other elf. “He probably would apologize, if you talked to him more. He’s… kind of a shy person, actually. It’s hard for him to open up.”

“You know him so well,” Solas said quietly, looking into the distance.

“Solas… you know I love you, right?”

He smiled, meeting her eyes again. “I scarcely believe it, but yes.”

“I would be really happy if you befriended him, but you don’t have to. I know what he did was awful. I mean, it traumatized me, too. Sometimes I think about being stuck in that other realm, unable to move…” Anna shuddered.

“How did you forgive him?”

Anna thought about it. “I guess I listened to him, and saw how he had changed… It was actually pretty easy. But it’s different for me. I didn’t even know _he_ killed me when it happened. It was so sudden.”

Solas reached for her, touching her cheek. “Can we… speak of something else, please?”

She smiled sadly. “Of course.”

“I will—Perhaps one day, I will be able to befriend him. For you.”

Anna smiled, and settled into his arms again. “That would make me really happy.”

“Do you really love the both of us?” he asked in a soft voice.

“Yes,” she said. “Completely. It’s like I have two hearts.” Anna smiled. “It feels wonderful. To have this much love in my life.”

“That does sound pleasant, when described as such.”

“But… I feel guilty too, sometimes, when I think about you. When I know how you feel about him.”

“Please, Anna,” Solas said, giving her a squeeze. “Never feel guilty on my account.”

“I know, but… you just seem so sad and lonely all the time. And a lot of that is because of me.”

“I deserve worse than loneliness,” he said. “But Anna… I am not always lonely. You give me far more attention than is right.”

“Well, I like you, silly wolf,” she said, smiling.

“You astound me,” he murmured.

“Because I like you?”

He chuckled. “Yes.”

“You’re right,” she said. “You’re not very likeable.”

Solas laughed a little again, and Anna smiled. She sat up and placed her hands on either side of his face, her thumbs gliding over his cheekbones.

“Why would I ever like someone so dreadful?” she said.

His smile stretched a little longer, and she kissed him again. He sighed a bit at the kiss, and this time he didn’t cry. Instead, he kissed her with so much vigor that she nearly fell backwards, but luckily he was holding her to him. This kiss was not as gentle, but it was still sweet, and after a while, he snuck his tongue in. Anna let him. She was having fun, and she’d missed this. Missed him. 

As she kissed Solas, it felt like a piece of her world had fallen into place. It wasn’t complete, not yet, but Anna was starting to see the whole picture again.

  


* * *

  


Anna couldn’t wait to tell Falon’Din the next morning, and he was helpfully already in her bed. As he almost always was.

She had asked Dirthamen once if he minded how Falon’Din spent so much of his time with her now. A day wouldn’t go by where she wouldn’t see him at least once. They were practically inseparable. Dirthamen had only chuckled at her question.

“Do you know how incessantly he spoke of you? It was endless _Anna, Anna, Anna_. I’m glad to be done with the prattle.” Dirthamen then smiled, gazing at some distant point. “And it is nice to see him so in love. Do you see how he shines? It brightens my own spirit.”

“But… do you ever get lonely, Dirthamen?”

Then the elf _really_ laughed. “I am never wanting for company, but thank you for the concern.” He was still smiling when he said, “I hope you never break his heart, Suledin.”

Anna couldn’t even imagine breaking his heart. The mere idea of it almost broke her own. She thought of it now, in the present, how full of emotion and care his heart could be, and nearly always was. Anna waited for him to wake, knowing how important his time in the Fade was to him, and trying her best not to just give in and kiss him already.

Eventually, he stirred, and Anna smiled.

“Good morning, my Ann-nug,” he said, stretching awake. He’d been so pleased with himself at that nickname when he’d thought of it. Anna made him swear to never say it in public. “What dreams found you last night?” He smiled sleepily at her.

She bit her lip, trying to hide the smile. “I talked to Solas,” Anna said. “We _kissed_.”

“Already?” He smirked a little, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “You move quite fast.”

“It doesn’t feel very fast,” she said. It felt like ages. It’d been almost a year since she’d absorbed all that power. “And you’re one to talk. You kissed me after, like, a week.”

He exhaled noisily. “It was far longer, and we have already discussed this. _You_ kissed me, Anna.”

Anna smiled. “Why would I ever do that?” she said, kissing him again.

“So,” he said, pulling himself up to sit against the headboard and folding his hands together, “will you tell me what was said last night?”

“We talked about you.”

One corner of his mouth curled upwards, and he raised a brow. “Did you?”

“He said he’d like to be your friend.”

His mouth dropped open.

“But he’s still upset over you killing me.”

“It was only _once_ ,” he said, smiling. It was a little joke they had. She’d say, _You killed me_ whenever he was arguing especially well and she couldn’t think of other defenses, and he would answer, _Only once_.

She moved to his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his cheek. “But can you believe it? That he’d even bring it up?”

“It is surprising,” Falon’Din agreed, lightly pinching her cheek. “But I find the notion quite improbable.”

Anna’s chest fell, sighing.

“It isn’t just your death between us, Anna,” he said, lifting her chin with his fingers. “There are entire centuries when all we did was bloody one another.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “I just want everyone to get along.”

He smiled. “We do, given the circumstances,” Falon’Din said. “Why, the other day we even discussed the weather. It was riveting.”

Anna laughed. She gazed at him, at his features that she used to think looked so severe, but always seemed to soften around her. Anna was sitting on him now, but she didn’t think he minded. Instead of complaining, he kissed her, tugging at her bottom lip with his teeth, ever slightly.

“Would you ever be friends with him?” she asked.

“You really wish me to?” he said, leaning back onto the bed frame.

“I just… I wish we could be like how you, me, and Dirthamen are. Not all this… awkwardness.”

Falon’Din contemplated for a moment. “Let us wait a few decades, and then see where we stand with one another. Perhaps we could become friends then.” 

“A few decades?” she asked. He always suggested the longest spans of time. “I might not even like you by then.”

He smiled. “How you wound me, nug.” He pulled her close enough to kiss her mouth again, then he bent towards her neck and gave it a playful bite.

“How long do you think we will last?” Anna said. Most would not ask such a question, but it was different with Athim. She never needed to filter her words or tiptoe around subjects. Anna just said what was on her mind, and he was always fine with it—appreciated it, even, when contrasted to all the deception of his kin.

And truthfully, there really was no certainty about their relationship, not like what they had with their respective twin souls. The future could hold anything— _change_ anything—and they had no way of knowing.

Falon’Din considered her question. “I think five hundred years would suffice.”

Anna pursed her lips. “Only five hundred?” she pouted.

“You’re very greedy,” he said, grinning and squeezing her a little. “Seven, then.”

“Two thousand,” Anna countered.

“ _Six_ hundred.” He arched a brow challengingly.

“ _Ten_ thousand.” She was smiling from ear to ear, laughing a little.

“Five hundred and two,” he said, kissing her nose.

“You’re so cruel, Athim,” she whined.

He laughed. “Shall we instead attempt for eternity, and see where it takes us?” He pulled Anna close, resting his forehead against hers.

She smiled. That sounded just fine.

(It really did.)

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was hard for me to post this because it meant saying goodbye to a story that I've had in my head for the past four years. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you didn’t, well, then I guess it lived up to its title, lol.
> 
> Thank you for reading this very niche story. I know it’s practically an OC x OC fic, and I didn't expect many people to be interested, but your comments and kudos have really touched my heart. :’) I love you all to bits!
> 
> (On a side note, I drew some art of this fic that I forgot to share here! Feel free to check it out if you're interested:  
> <https://heysales.tumblr.com/post/628925774182957057/salesart-pride-humility-and-endurance-was>)


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